Turning into a hermit

B

blueeyes291077

Member
Hi,

I have jsut got over my second week of the CD and i am 15 pound down, so that is good i guess, but i am finding it so hard,

My freinds are all skinny and can eat what they want to, I went out on sat night only to be told i am boring and i have lost my spark... I wnet home and cried my eyes out, I am curently single and usually have a good few dates lined up to find Mr right, but it is so hard, I cant go for dinner as i cant eat or a drink somewhere as i am not fond of tonic water on its own and i cant really have a diet coke.. the cinema, is not a good idea for a date as you dont really get to talk to them.. so i am stuck.. no dates and not wanting to go out with friends as i am boring!!!! I am hating me at the moment as i feel like i am letting my friends down by not wanting to be what they expect me to be!!!! I dont want to turn into a hermit, as i am usually such a bubbily person.. it is getting me down!!!

Lucy xxx
 
Whoa! Someone actually said you were boring and had lost your spark?

Well, there's someone you don't have to bother with in future.

As for letting your friends down by not being what they expect you to be - you can't be true to yourself by living your life according to what other people expect. You're better than that. If they are your friends, they will accept you as you are.

You say you're not your usual bubbly self - I wonder if perhaps your friends' attitude is contributing to your un-bubbliness? Right now you need them to be supportive and congratulate you on what you're achieving, not give you a hard time because you're not eating with them or drinking alcohol. I've always wondered how that logic works - why are they affected by what you do or don't put in your body? Answer: they're not.

Don't let them get you down. Chat to us on here - we're all nice and friendly and supportive. Perhaps the answer is not to become a hermit but to find new, nicer friends.
 
These people are not true friends. If they were they would be helping you. Maybe they rather like the idea of you being overweight and don't want you to get skinny too.

If you need to become a hermit for a while in order to get firmly onto the diet then do so and start going out later when you have lost some of the weight and are feeling more confident as this will certainly show in your attitude...and they won't say you're boring and lost your spark then. You might find you get to know a new circle of people too and won't need these unsupportive ones then.
 
i agree, if they were your friends they wouldn't care if your not eating or drinking, i've found on this diet that i can still go out with my friends, its just that i choose not to eat and drink and they are all supportive of this decision.
Maybe you should have a heart to heart with them, tell them why u wont to do this and that right now you really need all their support. Maybe u could go ice skating or have a movie night at someones house. As for dates am sure any bloke would be happy to supply water (after all it doesn't cost) and am sure if its the right guy they wont be bothered.
Hope you start to feel better about it all soon
 
Can only go along with what the others have said - what kind of friends would say that?! I've been SS'ing for nearly 6 months and I have gone out with my friends and they have totally supported me even though I'm only drinking water (the best bit is water is free and I get to drive me and my mates home afterwards!) I'm more than able to have a good time without alcohol and I wake up the next morning with no hangover. Why don't you just go on date's to a pub and drink water? - lots of people don't drink so its not exactly odd.
Ultimately its your decision to do this diet and no one else's feelings/opinions should come into it. If its what you want to do, then just get on with it and ignore what anyone else thinks.

MM x
 
Well some of them do yes.. but they dont seem interested, dont get me wrong i dont want constant attention, but at the same time it would be nice for people to think of me and how i am getting on.. it is tough as i am seen as the one to go to iin your group for advice and to be there for others when they need cheering up, a shoulder to cry on ect ect.. but when i need some help i appear to be on my own...

My famly are like,, thats no good for you at all and oyu need to eat.. and are not interested in the weight loss....

It would be nice to share this with my close friends and family but they are a hinderance rather than a help...

Lucy x
 
Actually, I've just thought of something.

When I had been SSing for about 6 weeks, I went out with some friends for a night out. We went to a few pubs, and I was drinking water. Nobody had a problem with it, except one bloke. He couldn't lay off me, and kept going on and on about how I should have a drink. When it was his round, he refused to order water, so I said fine, I'll get my own.

As I stood at the bar and asked for my iced water (which I was paying for, by the way - so I wasn't losing the pub any money by not drinking), he leaned over my shoulder from behind and actually APOLOGISED to the barmaid.

I have not seen him or spoken to him since that night.
 
It does make you wonder why some people care so much about what other people choose, or choose not to do! My mates can do whatever they want, if it makes them happy then it can only be a good thing.
Lucy stick with it - you need to prove a point to your friends and family now! One of my friends was particularly concerned about me starting this diet but after reading up on it said if it made me happy then he would support me 100% - and he has. I think some people I know have had their doubts about this diet but after seeing how healthy and significantly thinner I look have probably changed their minds - I bet your friends and family will do the same!

MM x
 
I should hope not - I was there with my boyfriend (at the time - now husband)!
 
I haven't actually started Cd yet I'm starting next Monday, but I have decided not to tell my friends. The reason being I don't want to be told it's no good for me or just have a couple of drinks it won't harm you. So I'm staying in for the next few months I think it's easier that way gonna say I'm too skint to go out. My friends will still be there in a few months and if they're not well they weren't really friends in the first place.

As MM said you have a point to prove now don't let them dishearten you and if they keep going on about you only drinking water etc next time they are going out tell them you are gonna give it a miss. Just imagine their faces next time they see you and you've lost shed loads of weight.

You're doing really well you've lost over a stone in 2 weeks you should be very proud of yourself.
 
Hi Blue Eyes

I really sympathise with you. I did strict SSing for 20 weeks and the hardest thing for me was the socialising aspect. A lot of folk on this forum continued to enjoy a full social life but I did turn into a hermit! There were one or two friends/family who didn't like me not eating/drinking but that wasn't the problem. I just felt completely miserable sitting with others who were able to have a drink/meal and I couldn't. Even a Diet Coke would have been heaven. Instead, all I could have was water as I can't drink black tea or coffee. I cancelled everything I could and attended only the 'necessaries' like birthdays. It really was difficult for me; the worst part of the diet. However, and it's a big BUT, it was worth every second of misery because my social life is fab now...I love going out in my gorgeous new clothes and I feel great. It's much nicer dancing when you're a 12-14 than when you're a 24. So stick with it, long term it will be so worth it! Good luck!
 
Thank you all soo much for your support, You have been great, It feelslike i am amongst friends and it is good to feel like i am not on my own.... thanks guys sooo much xx
 
I have to fess up that I've become a hermit really - cant see the point sitting at a table with a glass of water.... I can do that at home... I'd feel happier going out not drinking if I at least looked nice which I dont at the mo!
However, my buddies understand & support me 100% - which makes a difference.
My brother & family on the other hand dont - always trying to tempt me etc which I find hard as I know that I am comfy with them as a fatty...!
I'd say this, unless YOU really want to do it then dont! There'll be hundereds of weekends you can go and have fun & laughs, little drinkets & nibblets - this SS/790 time without alcohol is a very important weeks/months in YOUR life & its down to your 'friends' to respect you during this short period!
I spend my social hours here now - its important to surround yourself with people who want the same thing as you at this sort of time... Success is more likely.......
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
I can imagine it is hard for you at the moment. Just try to think of the long term - if you stick to the diet you will soon be at goal and be able to go out with friends again. Keep positive and be a bit selfish for a while, stop thinking about your friends feelings and think of your own. xx
 
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