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Umm, this is a bit heavy but I don't know where else to put it...


Peace Love Happiness
I'm having some therapy because I know my weight/eating issues are pretty difficult. I've seen a few counsellors/therapists over the years and today I had my third/fourth appointment and he did this special kind of therapy (EMDR) with me and I remembered some really horrific stuff from my childhood. (I know my childhood was pretty horrid but I didn't expect anything like this.)

I think I am in shock and my bf is away working, I spoke to him briefly but there isn't much he can do.

I just want to eat and eat and eat :break_diet:

Sorry to post something so horrible, I just needed to share it somehow. I don't know what to do.
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you need to stay strong hun and show whatever happened in your past that it no longer effects you and you are stronger than it! you can beat your demons hun and the first step to overcoming them is facing them head on - remember the little black dress u want to wear for christmas and think how fabulous you will feel once wearing it - no childhood memories will get the better of you then hun! *big hugs* xxxxxxx
Honey, I have been where you are now. Eating will not help you, in the long run it will make matters far worse for you.

Chin up honey, just remember that you have a boyfriend who loves you and that what has happened cant happen to you again, but you do have to deal with it.

I suggest going for a walk, you might not feel like it but it will take you away from food while you are struggling. If you have any family living near, go visit them. Do anything, just do not eat, it will make you feel worse!

I am here if you need to chat !

Laura x x x
Sorry to hear about how ur feeling. But wats been said about is right. your doing this diet for you and you dont want your past to ruin ur future. stay with it. Hope u start feeling better. xxx
If you feel bad when you think about those childhood memories - you will feel twice as bad still thinking about them if you have binged! You are not a vulnerable defenceless child anymore. It was the child in you that was hurt by whatever happened. It is the child in you now that is feeling the pain again. But you are the grown woman now that is acknowledging what your inner child felt. But you are a grown up that will deal with this and move on. You are stronger, more confident and more capable than that child. You are proving how strong and determined you are by doing therapy and LT. That memory is only a memory. It can't hurt you anymore once you acknowledge it.

I hope some of that makes sense. I'm here too if you need to talk.


a new way of living!
just a quick question - no offence intended, but is your therapist properly qualified?

they are not supposed to leave you feeling worse afterwards. if something comes up, they are supposed to help you deal with it, address it, in some way, not leave you walk out with a burdon on your shoulders.

I have just started a psychology course, and am starting a counselling course in october, and there is a strict conduct for therapists.

when i lived in holland, i went to see a guy and never checked his creds and i felt rough afterwards, it took me 6 months to recover, and i ended up 2 stone heavier! (note - dont eat!)

he was well meaning and had good intentions, but the untrained well meaning therapists can cause a lot of damage.

look for a good therapist on the BACP website, if they are BACP registered then they have to have been properly trainined. thats who i'm planning to register with when qualified.

good luck, keep your chin up and pm me if you need to - I have had a pretty rough childhood too, and sometimes digging it back up again is not always in your best interests.

sending you hugs

Ms Blonde is absolutely right, I was taught that you must NEVER help someone to "emotionally undress" unless you are qualified and able to help them redress afterwards.
Saras post is spot on too, brilliantly put.
Really hope you feel better soon. xx
you should try and look at today as a possitive, imagine all the damage those surpressed feelings were doing to you, think of all the good that is going to come out of dealing with these.

Think of you as that little girl that you once were and treat her with everything she deserves, she deserves to be happy and healthy. now why would you treat yourself as any different? you have done nothing wrong to take away any of that love or respect you have for the little you, youve only got a bit older...Stop your vicisious circular of self damage and stand up to all the crap you have been through and realise how much lovely things you deserve, you couldnt control anything when you were a little girl but you can now...you know you can do it...Nothing worth doing was ever easy....
:hug99::hug99:BIG HUGS

I can't imagen how hard this is for you. Stay strong (easier said than done) you've made a brilliant start. Getting on this diet and loosing weight. Let us know how your getting on. Drop me a message if you want to chat.

I am waiting for my 1st appt to see a councilor, to get over some things in my past. Food would normally be my escape, no longer though..


Peace Love Happiness
Thanks everyone, again.

It's lovely to feel so supported.

He is a BACP psychologist with specialist training in EMDR, I've had a lot of therapy and EMDR is a kind of 'last hope' in lots of ways, I just didn't ever think I would find out what I did. As for putting me back together again, umm, I think it would be pretty difficult to do a lot after what happened. Although it's a good point, we did go over time and he did make sure I was okay. I'm seeing him again on Thursday so, that is good. I think!

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