Well I have had a really strange night!

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by scottishlass, 3 December 2009 Social URL.

  1. scottishlass

    scottishlass Full Member

    Posts:
    157
    Likes Received:
    2
    Start Weight:
    14st7lb
    Current Weight:
    12st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st7lb
    Lost(%):
    2st2lb(14.78%)
    Diet:
    Maintaining after Lighter Life
    Just back from meeting up with 3 of my friends for a wine and a catch up (me with my soda water of course)

    Two of these have been with me right through every step of my LL journey so far and both have been fantastically supportive. The 3rd I havent seen for about 6 months but I have always considered us to be close.

    Anyway, given the fact that I am coming upon having lost nearly 3 stones my weight loss is very apparent to all. Now I wasnt expecting my friend to go into raptures but she didnt even comment on the fact that I had lost weight, it was one of my other friends who said to her "isnt SL looking great?" To which the friend asked me what I was doing, gave a very opinionated rant on what she thought of lighter life and more or less summarised with the fact that I will simply put all the weight back on plus more!

    This friend has always been very slim, however I am now hovering on being the same size as her, when I have hit target I reckon I will be a size 10 on the top and and a 12 on the bottom as the 12's & 14's are starting to be on the big side. 10/12 is what she is. I got the distinct impression that she really was uncomfortable with the fact that I am no longer her 'fat friend'.

    I have had a good think about it since coming home and have written a thought record on it. My reaction to this could easily have been, hurt at the fact that she hasnt acknowledged my loss, and also a bit of crooked thinking 'what's the point I may as well have something to eat" However - I have realised that I really am learning, it's her issue not mine, I feel fantastic and cannot wait until I reach my goal. Size 10's here I come.

    Sorry for the ramble - just wanted to share before heading to bed. Night night.
    SL
    x
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. Sean(JSF)

    Sean(JSF) Making it all add up

    Posts:
    812
    Likes Received:
    33
    Start Weight:
    20st6lb
    Current Weight:
    13st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    13st0lb
    Lost(%):
    7st6lb(36.36%)
    Diet:
    Finished - Lighter Life
    Good for you SL, unfortunately this type of reaction is more common that any of us would really like to admit. The old 'green eyed monster' does raise it's head from time to time and is a most unattractive characture flaw.

    You've done the right thing, her inscurities are her problem, don't let them upset you. Different people will react in different ways just remember the only person who's opinion really matters is YOU!
     
  4. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

    Posts:
    1,334
    Likes Received:
    25
    Start Weight:
    18st12lb
    Current Weight:
    12st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st6lb
    Lost(%):
    6st3lb(32.95%)
    Diet:
    LighterLife
    :D Feel very good about yourself and your achievement! You must look great for your friend to feel so insecure about your weight loss. :D

    As Sean says, it is a sad but true reality for many of us to find out who our true friends are.

    Too many people seem to use a 'fat friend' as a crutch to make themselves feel better. We have removed their crutch and they don't like it as they are exposed. Shame!
     
  5. Looby Lew

    Looby Lew Full Member

    Posts:
    246
    Likes Received:
    0
    Start Weight:
    15st6lb
    Current Weight:
    12st1lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st6lb
    Lost(%):
    3st5lb(21.76%)
    Diet:
    LL
    Ditto what the others have said ...unfortunately I also have a mother who is a bit like that!!!!!
     
  6. scottishlass

    scottishlass Full Member

    Posts:
    157
    Likes Received:
    2
    Start Weight:
    14st7lb
    Current Weight:
    12st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st7lb
    Lost(%):
    2st2lb(14.78%)
    Diet:
    Maintaining after Lighter Life
    Thanks guys
    SL
    x
     
  7. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

    Posts:
    1,334
    Likes Received:
    25
    Start Weight:
    18st12lb
    Current Weight:
    12st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st6lb
    Lost(%):
    6st3lb(32.95%)
    Diet:
    LighterLife
    Me too :cry:
     
  8. scottishlass

    scottishlass Full Member

    Posts:
    157
    Likes Received:
    2
    Start Weight:
    14st7lb
    Current Weight:
    12st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st7lb
    Lost(%):
    2st2lb(14.78%)
    Diet:
    Maintaining after Lighter Life
    So is my mum if I am honest :(
     
  9. Morticia

    Morticia Happy in my own skin

    Posts:
    487
    Likes Received:
    6
    Start Weight:
    13st1lb
    Current Weight:
    9st1lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    4st0lb(30.6%)
    Diet:
    Lighter Life
    I've had the same thing happen to me twice. Once with a good friend who mentioned nothing....after a 3 stone loss. And now with my sister in law who was always the thin one of the family and now I'm thinner than her. It's horrible to see and be part of as I never pegged either of them as being the jealous type, but there is not other answer.

    You did well not to let crooked thinking set in. Well done you. I think the best thing we can do under the circumstances is take the well deserved support from those that give it, and give very little time or thought to those that don't. We are on this journey for ourselves and that means becoming selfish and not letting others thoughts/feelings stop us doing what is right for us. They have their issues and they can deal with them how they like.......while we get on with ours and sail on to goal weight.

    Again well done, you deserve a pat on the back.
     
  10. LaydeeBug

    LaydeeBug Full Member

    Posts:
    360
    Likes Received:
    8
    Diet:
    Exante TS
    I'm sorry your friend couln't be happy for you SL.

    I have had very positive reactions from "real" friends, and I don't tell people about LL for this very reason.
    But, I did start having negative reactions from some of the female dog owners on my local park. I posted on here as they suddenly blanked me and were very
    abrupt.

    As it happens, my brother moved to the village next to mine a few weeks back so I now walk his dog and mine on his local park. Nobody knows me as the "fat" person and I am having nice "doggy chats" with new people these days.

    I've also had people telling me not to lose any more, even though I am not a healthy BMI ~ but they suddenly become experts!

    It seems that if people put you in that podgy pigeon hole, you are not expected to move from it or you face the wrath of the insecure/jealous "friends".

    I felt hurt at the time, but to be honest, I'm healthier, happier and I don't care anymore!

    You keep going chuck! xx :)
     
  11. milli

    milli Full Member

    Posts:
    164
    Likes Received:
    1
    Start Weight:
    16st1lb
    Current Weight:
    12st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st7lb
    Lost(%):
    3st3lb(20%)
    Diet:
    lighterlife
    I agree totally Laydee, just ignore them SL.
    You are doing fantastic and they are simply jealous.:jelous:
    I definitely have a "rebellious child" as I would always say "sod them" and go my own way.
    sometimes this is not the right way but it saves a lot of hurt feelings!
    milli x
     
  12. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

    Posts:
    3,881
    Likes Received:
    150
    Diet:
    lighterlife
    Hi SL

    I had a similar reaction from a friend I've known for about 25 years .I was amazed. She's tiny, but has a real problem with me now being slim. At firstIwas very hurt, but now I have decided it's her problem not mine.
    Sad but true. You've done really well and i'm pleased that your other froends recognise and acknowledge your achievement. Be proud xx
     
  13. scottishlass

    scottishlass Full Member

    Posts:
    157
    Likes Received:
    2
    Start Weight:
    14st7lb
    Current Weight:
    12st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st7lb
    Lost(%):
    2st2lb(14.78%)
    Diet:
    Maintaining after Lighter Life
    Thanks for all your kind words guys, it really means a lot. :D
     
  14. scotwannabethin

    scotwannabethin Back to the grindstone!!

    Posts:
    445
    Likes Received:
    12
    Start Weight:
    16st9lb
    Current Weight:
    16st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    13st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st5lb(2.15%)
    Diet:
    W8 as need to lose so I can TTC!!!
    Hey Scottishlass (great name by the way!!)
    Well done for doing the though record first off, just shows that the learning is worth it if that put things into perspective.
    Like many others, I have had the same kind of reactions. I just don't let it get to me, like you said, their issue, not ours!
    My best friend joined me on the LL journey when she saw the results (after an initial grump about me being slimmer) and her mother was a nightmare about it. Constantly putting her down that she would gain it all again and when she reached target (and was smaller than her mum) her dear old mum stopped talking to her!!! Terrible business. Anyway, they are now back on talking terms although her mum is now considerably slimmer!!
    I take folk how they come, always been my way, it's what's inside that counts and have always been happy for folk with whatever choices they make, good or bad!
    Well done to you for your attitude, you "normal"person you!!!!!
     
  15. LaydeeBug

    LaydeeBug Full Member

    Posts:
    360
    Likes Received:
    8
    Diet:
    Exante TS
    Wow ~ how crazy that her mum could find it so threatening!

    People's reactions have shocked me whilst on this diet. Human nature is an odd thing! :rolleyes:
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...