- to be able to wear NICE clothes from normal shops, not just hunt for something that fits me and hides me
- to be fit and healthy, with loads of energy. I've lost some weight before (then put it all back on and more), and want to feel like that again!
- so that at some point during my time at university, I can have some photos of me that I actually like! (I have a couple that I like from before I *really* piled on the weight, but I want more!)
- so I won't opt out of social events. Last year, I decided not to do so many things that I could have... even things like walking to the beach with friends, because I wouldn't be able to keep up.
- so I can fit into the lovely dresses I already have sitting in my wardrobe.
- so when I come "home" (to my parents) during the holidays, I won't break the cabin bed in my room when I haul myself up on it. (Not happened yet, but I live in fear!)
- so I can actually ENJOY looking in the mirror in my room, rather than hanging my towel in front of it.
- so I can fill what my housemates have nicknamed my "Narnia wardrobe"
with gorgeous clothes I'll actually wear.
- so I can let my male friends (who seem to enjoy picking me up) pick me up, without worrying that they'll drop me and/or hurt themselves.
- so I won't get so sweaty at the slightest hint of physical exertion. >.<
- so my thighs won;t rub together when I walk; meaning I'll be able to wear skirts without cycling shorts underneath.
- so I can walk at normal people speed. At the moment, I walk so slowly I feel embarrassed if someone is walking along the street behind me, and stop and pretend to be on my phone so they can walk past me (which slows me down even more!).
- so I can be a different kind of invisible. Right now, I'm apparently invisible to most people apart from my friends, and people who make fun of me. I want to be invisible in a crowd... to blend in and not be a talking point just because of my weight.
Kind of... you know when you're meeting friends somewhere, like a restaurant/cafe/club/social setting/wherever, and you're sitting/standing there waiting for them; every time the door opens you look to see if it's your friend, but if it's not, then you wouldn't be able to describe later on all the people who came in before your friend, because they're "just" other people? (Unless there's something really unusual about a particular person who walked in.)
I feel like people would remember me walking in, because of my size... whereas if one of my friends at uni walked into a room, if people remember him it's because he's got a bright pink mohawk.
