Why is it?

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by nannydi, 4 December 2008 Social URL.

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  1. nannydi

    nannydi wants a new body

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    why is it that everyone i know around me offline that goes to SW is seriously flagging whilst i am trying to keep it all on track is it the time of year?
    i have just had a *friend* moaning cos she got PMT and she can't be arsed to go to meeting and sit in the room with a group of slimmers!
    don't get me wrong i get PMT (ask hubby he only just coming out the corner i just getting over this months bout lol)
    but at the end of the day this *friend* lost 10st with SW has put 2st back on and still has to lose about 7st and i really don't think she actually wants to do it.
    on a good day she'll tell you that the reason she wants to do this is for her health cos her dad died of heart attack and she been told she could go the same way but the good days are getting very few and far between and she keeps telling me she wants to be a fat heifer and give up (her words not mine) as she is tired of being on a diet
    i've tried to tell her i understand i have been on a diet of some sort for the past twenty years!
    whether it be cambridge, slimfast,weightwatchers, atkins or slimming world!
    i try to help everyone with the plan but i am beginning to waiver myself because i have no positive vibes around me. that's why i love it here cos we all help each other, but i don't think hubby will be too impressed if i sit here all day!
    how can you help someone that doesn't seem to want to help themselves?
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  3. BrittW

    BrittW Timelord

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    The simple fact of it all though hun is you can't.

    If someone doesn't want to make positive changes and help themselves for the better, all the encouragement in the world from you won't be enough. She needs to see for herself the damage she's doing and only she can make the choice to change it.
    I hate to say it but you're going to need to think of yourself in this one. Hopefully she'll see how good you're doing and then make the concious decision to sort herself out.
    Have you tried congratulating her on her amazing loss so far, usually focusing on the positive things make people see negatives in a different light xxxx
  4. Claire1981

    Claire1981 Is so very nearly there!

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    You cant hun :(

    You just have to be there for her as annoying as that can be - esp knowing all this..

    Good to seeon here Di you been V quiet

    Chin up
  5. Treats

    Treats Silver Member

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    Hi Nannydi

    Ok here comes my hard hitting input... haha well you know by now that I say what I feel without trying to upset anyone.

    I think we all get to a stage in our life where we have to make changes. You have been doing so well and you have done your bit for your friend.

    I think you have three choices here....

    1. Tell your friend straight... that she is dragging you down and that you want to be there for her and yourself at the same time but her attitude is making it very hard for you... not only to help her but to deal with things yourself and that she has to make a concerted effort to change this and let her know that you are there for her. There are times that people need to hear just the truth... no frills but not harsh.

    2. Just plod on the way your going ... as they put up and shut up!

    3. Decide that even though she is a friend ... that friends come and go and that it is time for you to move on a little and deal with your life... cutting her some slack and in a way removing her a little more from your life.

    Our paths cross with people for a reason... and sometimes it is for a short time and sometimes it is for life. Only you will know this Nanny as she is your friend. But it is very true... you can never tell anyone anything that they are not ready to hear.... so don't bring yourself down by trying to carry her unless she is going to do something about it herself.

    But wow 10 stone loss ... shame she put 2 back on.

    Good luck and hope you don't think I am too hard!
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