Are you sitting conformably? Then I'll begin...
Ok so it started in the pub O'Neills where I I had a glass of sparkling water. Oh I should also say I had a low fat tuna sandwich from M&S at about 3.30pm to line the stomach which was rather pointless since I stuck to fizzy water! Hindsight, eh? Then when we got to the restaurant I had another one.
Our starters arrived. Mine was duck liver parfait with apple brandy chutney and two warm little slices of bread. I gave one of the slices to a colleague friend as he had a huge mound of Stilton and nothing to go with it, odd... Anyway, this starter was the richest food I have ever tried. Whether I can attribute that to the diet (i.e. it simply tasted rich because I haven't eaten for so long), I'm not sure. So I ate the piece of bread and was grateful for my hungry neighbour who made it look as though I'd eaten more!
It was after the starter that I had.... Drumroll please.... Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... A white wine spritzer! It was ok, but didn't set my world alight. In fact, after a few sips, I felt mildly nauseous!
So then, it took about 8 years for the main courses to arrive (we arrived at 7.50pm but the mains weren't brought out until after 10)!! I had ordered the traditional turkey dinner and traditional though it looked, yukky did it taste! I stocked up on veggies only to find they were all underdone
apart from the honey glazed carrots, which were more like carrot glazed honey! And don't even get me started on the dry turkey, greasy tats and DRIED APRICOT stuffing..!!
It was at this point that my naughty boss ordered me a mojito - my own fault since I have sporadically waxed lyrical about them every time going out is mentioned in the office... But you see, fellow CDers, I am nothing if not a wee bit cunning, so I passed it round to everyone who was curious, letting them try a bit! (as they cost about £8 I couldn't just leave it sitting there - twas a good thing everyone was saying ooh what's that)?!
It was at this stage was quite drunk so it was easy to feed them my cocktail, mwuhaha
hey, I'm no saint though, of course I tried it, they are my faves after all!
Finally came the dessert (at 10.45pm...) and about six people were leaving; there are about 15 people in all at my firm so this sadly left quite a noticeable hole in the proceedings. And making it all the more poignant, the waiters were coming out with all the desserts so it ended up with waiters and my colleagues almost tripping over each other; it was so cramped! Anyway, I digress. So my pud was two huge pastry buns with ice cream between and drizzled with Belgian choc sauce. If any of you are salivating, you can stop now, it was horrid. Ice cream in it? It's just not natural! My taste buds asked me "what is going on? Where is the cream, our great leader? We taste choux pastry, but no cream!" they cried. So I decided not to subject my mouth to any further confusion
Since several people had left, the table was full of unearth desserts; I hope my bosses get some of their money back given the long delays in serving! To be fair though, they all had a good go at polishing off the leftover puds! My Office Manager thought she'd died and gone to heaven!
So it was about 11.15 when I made my goodbyes and left for the train station. Halfway there (10-minute walk) I was so full up that my coat felt tighter around my chest and I had a bit of a stitch in my middle!
I'm sure you all weren't expecting such a full summary... Congrats if you got to the end of the post! Only a bit more to go ...
To sum up, I had about two gulps of spritzer, one gulp of a mojito, a small slice of bread with a little parfait and chutney, two lettuce leaves, a slice of turkey, one roast potato, half a pig in blanket, a nibble on some stuffing, about 3 sprouts, 2 carrots, one bite of (virtually raw) parsnip and a bite of pastry with ice cream. That's it! And I felt as though I'd eaten an eight-course banquet!!!
Some might say the 'do' was disastrous, I say the opposite, and here's why: -
1. It was an awful meal. The boyf said to when I got home how it was a shame to break CD for something that wasn't very good but I said I'm glad it was horrid because it won't make me crave food - if it had been amazing I would have found it hard to get back on SS today.
2. I felt sick and had a stitch. Funny how none of these things sound positive, but they actually are! When I felt full and ill, I concentrated on remembering that feeling if I am ever tempted to cheat on my darling CD, and it'll get me through
3. Lastly, being sober at your Christmas party is something that not only has never happened to me before, but it's really fun to observe your drunk workmates, hehe!
Apologies if it's been a struggle to get through this post (much like me with the meal last night)!
Hope you're all great and have a wonderful weekend.
Rom xxx
