'Your GP telling you you're obese is wrong and just weight bullying'

[goingtobeskinnysoon]

Is anyone else watching BBC breakfast?? I'm struggling not to throw the tv out of the window!!

There's a woman on there who is a 'size acceptance campaigner' saying that doctors should not tell you you're obese as it's basically not nice and is bullying based on weight. Seriously?!? She says that if she goes to the dr about something else it'll come back to her weight and that she doesn't want to be told that she is obese all the time. To be fair, there are so many obesity related issues that it's hard for it not to. And she is a very large lady so you can see why it would come up. It's your doctor! They have an obligation to talk to you about health issues when you're sitting in front of them and obesity plays a huge part. Saying 'I go to the gym 3 days a week and I'm perfectly healthy' just isn't true. You cannot be drastically overweight and healthy, at the very least youre storing up problems for later. Yes, it's painful when you hear someone finally say 'you've gotten fat' (been there!) but saying your dr shouldn't use the word obese is just ridiculous!

Rant over. Sorry. That made me so angry!!! X

 

[kingleds]

I've not watched it, so I can't comment on her at all, but I do think that GP's have a tendency to bring things back to your weight ALL THE TIME. For example, if I went in to the GP with a mole on my back, I expect him to deal with that. I don't expect a lecture on my weight as the 2 things are not even remotely related. I am not allowed to talk to him about more than 1 complaint when I go to see him, so why on earth should he be allowed to tralk about something unrelated?

If I went in with a bad back, I would expect him to tell me that loosing some weight would help in the long run, and that doing some exercise would improve my core stability, and making sure I sit at my desk correctly will help my posture. These suggestions are all related to the original complaint.

Whilst he is my GP, and is there to look after me I am also an adult, who makes my own choices. I choose to loose weight, I choose to quit smoking, I choose to exercvise more. I do these things becuase I CHOOSE to do so. I will absolutely NOT be told what to do by someone who barely knows my name, who asks me repeatedly what contraception I use, when he was the one who installed my Implant, and has no clue about how I live my life.

To give you my own real life example. I suffered from a serious back condition, which resulted in me suffering from serious depression which led me to overeat & not exercise But because everytime I went to him he's ALWAYS told me to loose some weight, that I was clinically obese blah blah blah, I didn't feel comfortable in telling him how I felt about this for about 18 months - the point at which my OH forced me to. My confidence was at an all time low already, and he's just battered it again & again.

Spectacular job in his part I must say.

 

[*Emsie*]

It used to drive me mad being told by the dr's that everything that was wrong with me was because of my weight despite lots of people who weren't overweight having the same things wrong with them! I think that some people who are overweight can be healthier than some people who are slimmer and not everything comes down to weight. If its appropriate/necessary then fine for the dr to say it but not every single time for every single issue as its not helpful and can cause damage and prevent people going to the drs when they need to.
Also since I have lost weight I keep being told that thngs I've had wrong with me have been because I've lost weight so aaaaaagggghhhhhh!

 

[Ally89]

It's what they do, if your overweight, your weight will be the problem, if you smoke, smoking will be the problem. I was diagnosed with PCOS and told it was cos of my weight, weight doesn't help the condition but neither does it cause it, but I automatically got told to lose weight. Nowadays obesity it so common and makes a lot of illnesses worse, doctors tend to go for the automatic "lose weight" option before anything else.

 

[Hamish's Mum]

I agree with the comments made. If I go to the doctor about a complaint I do not want a lecture on losing weight when I am there and certainly do not want them to call me obese.

I went for a smear about 6 years ago and the practise nurse took my weight and went on and on about it, made me feel really embarrassed and ashamed. When my next smear test was due, I put it off for almost 2 years because I was too nervous about them taking my weight again.

 

[equi]

I know we are all on here for the same reason, to loose weight, and i think that to be healthy you need to not have overly too much fat. your docotor is the person who knows what weight you should be, and he should be listened to. this woman is just complaining because shes fat and wants someone to tell her that its okay to be fat. well it isnt.

 

[kingleds]

I know we are all on here for the same reason, to loose weight, and i think that to be healthy you need to not have overly too much fat. your docotor is the person who knows what weight you should be, and he should be listened to. this woman is just complaining because shes fat and wants someone to tell her that its okay to be fat. well it isnt.

Wow. Not sure that this is the right place to be that judgemental. People in glass houses & all that........

 

[Keldelacoe]

Wow. Not sure that this is the right place to be that judgemental. People in glass houses & all that........

To be fair I don't think she is being judgement its a fair point? we are all here for the same reason! loosing weight isnt just about looking better its bad for our health, sometimes I don't think we realise how much damage it does! The same as being under weight isnt healthy and causes medical problems too

 

[Keldelacoe]

....sometimes somebody being brutely honest is the wake up call we need! we have kid ourselves at times we are happy when we are not!

 

[kingleds]

To be fair I don't think she is being judgement its a fair point? we are all here for the same reason! loosing weight isnt just about looking better its bad for our health, sometimes I don't think we realise how much damage it does! The same as being under weight isnt healthy and causes medical problems too

I don't dispute that being overweight is not good for you. I'm not a moron thanks. I'm also not perfect, so I tend not to judge people I've never met, especially when it comes to issues about weight. I merely suggested that a forum full of overweight & previously overweight people who have suffered from prejudice as result of their size might not be the best place to perpetuate that prejudice. Just a thought.

 

[Keldelacoe]

I don't dispute that being overweight is not good for you. I'm not a moron thanks. I'm also not perfect, so I tend not to judge people I've never met, especially when it comes to issues about weight. I merely suggested that a forum full of overweight & previously overweight people who have suffered from prejudice as result of their size might not be the best place to perpetuate that prejudice. Just a thought

Did I say you were a moron? what's with the rudeness? I was just giving my opinon that's all!

 

[kingleds]

To be honest, I don't need telling by anyone, least of all a forum that being overweight is bad for me - so it felt a but like stating the obvious, and that put my back up, hence my comment. So apologies if I came over as rude. I was already annoyed by the post that I had originally replied to. I just have a massive issue with people on a weight loss forum being judgemental about being overweight - it did come over as judgemental to me. I guess thats just forums for you & how people read things though as you didn't!

Still, at least you all now know how to piss me off, so not a total waste of time

 

[Keldelacoe]

To be honest, I don't need telling by anyone, least of all a forum that being overweight is bad for me - so it felt a but like stating the obvious, and that put my back up, hence my comment. So apologies if I came over as rude. I was already annoyed by the post that I had originally replied to. I just have a massive issue with people on a weight loss forum being judgemental about being overweight - it did come over as judgemental to me. I guess thats just forums for you & how people read things though as you didn't!

Still, at least you all now know how to piss me off, so not a total waste of time

ha Iwas just saying I dont think she was being rude ...ok maybe it was a bit crudely put I suppose some are more direct. The rest was just my add to the thread not a lecture for you..maybe a need to learn to 'part quote' only lol

 

[kingleds]

ha Iwas just saying I dont think she was being rude ...ok maybe it was a bit crudely put I suppose some are more direct. The rest was just my add to the thread not a lecture for you..maybe a need to learn to 'part quote' only lol

Nah, don't worry about it Hun. I've already calmed down & stopped toy throwing

 

[MadameLaMinx]

Having once been on the recieving end of this from a doctor, I can kind of see both sides of it.

The doctor told me, quite bluntly, that I needed to go away and lose some weight before he was prepared to treat me. This was for entirely understandable reasons, I couldnt get pregnant, and he wanted me to be of a weight where surgery would be less of a risk, and also, I suspect, he felt that my weight was playing a significant part in my inability to ovulate. At the time, it was a total kick in the exceptionally wobbly stomach. I knew I was pretty goshdarn big, but I was far too busy pretending that it didnt matter to have realised that actually it did, and it could be the cause of 2 years of endless cycles of upset, negative tests and hormonal disruption.

Whilst I HATED that doctor for being so matter of fact and blunt about it, it was the wake up call I needed at the time. I knew then that I had a choice - remain infertile, possibly of my own making, or go and at least TRY to lose the weight. I also had to battle with my own fear of general anaesthetic, I had never had one, and what I was working towards was going to involve HAVING to have one. But I had to do what needed to be done to see if that was causing the problem.

I cried pretty much all the way from the hospital to the supermarket, but I walked it, where I would have got a bus, loaded the trolley with NOTHING but healthy food, as though I was in a daze, and then pulled myself together and got on with it. Two daughters later, I can look back and be grateful for his blunt approach. Nicey nice wouldnt have cut it. I needed that swift sharp shock to my system to make me realise that it was causing me problems.

Thats not to say it all suddenly got fixed, I piled a load back on during the pregnancy with my younger daughter and while I never quite got back to where I had started from, I was headed that way when I started this particular journey in 2010. My issues with food reach much further and deeper than a short sharp shock would resolve. HOWEVER, this time around, I did it with the support of SW, and because of the tools I got from being a part of that, I can manage and maintain my weight now much better, even at times where I get down and depressed and food becomes a comfort again, I have *touchwood* so far, managed to control things to the point where I can always pull back a few extra pounds. Its a battle, regardless.

I guess what I am trying to say in a very roundabout way, is that when your self-esteem is tied into the weight you are, and how you feel about your physical appearance, actually being told something you either already know, or are in denial about, carries so much more pain in it's delivery than say, if someone said bluntly "you have hair" or "you have a nose". Realistically, body fat, is just that, a part of your body. It does not consititute who you are, it might give an indicator about how you feel about yourself, but it is not part of your personality. A doctor does not intend to be hurtful, as a general rule, they are simply stating what could be the factors for the problem that you are experiencing OR they are under pressure from the government to cut the amount of obesity related illnesses and numbers of "obese" people in the community, and so are telling everyone what they are being told to tell everyone.

Does that make sense?

 

[goingtobeskinnysoon]

Perfect sense MLM!

As the OP, what I was trying to get at is that it is ridiculous for someone to object to a doctor using the term obese. The fact is she is. I am. Most of you are/were which is why you're here. The word obese is factual. It's a medical term. They're not going 'oh you're a right chubber' or something. Yes it's not a nice thing to hear but it is a clinical fact and something which people shouldnt be ignoring.

Whilst I appreciate that it's not nicer to hear even if you are aware of it for some people they really don't realise. Like me, I'd ignored it but the fact is it was very obese. And same for MLM by the sounds of it. And if the dr telling you helps you to change then I don't care what different words they use for it (ok, fatty boom boom or similar might be pushing it but you know what I mean )

Ps - lovely to hear your happy ending with two daughters btw MLM x

 

[*Emsie*]

Thanks for sharing that MLM x
I think there is two sides for it and it can work for some and not others. I didn't actually see the programme so difficult to comment directly on that and don't think there is anything wrong with Drs using the term obese if its appropriate but if I've got a cold I'm not sure its relevant.
Being overweight can contribute to health issues I'm sure but not all.

 

[MadameLaMinx]

I can understand what you are saying Emsie, and yes, if you go with a cold it might not seem relevant. What I do know, as I have a friend who is a GP, who is currently under orders to cut their drugs bill down by 40 million quid, that they will be pushing people to help themselves, as many things can be caused by, or hindered by, obesity. So you might rock up with say, a skin fold infection, or bad acne, or persistent hip pain, and have your weight and diet questioned because of the simple fact that small changes can really make a big difference, and whilst it is never nice, GPs see people every day who are suffering by their own hand. The NHS resources are limited, and tightly squeezed, and if a GP thinks that a bit of blunt speak could prevent a future diabetes case, then its likely they will bring it up, because they are under so much pressure to cut costs.

 

[*Emsie*]

I can understand what you are saying Emsie, and yes, if you go with a cold it might not seem relevant. What I do know, as I have a friend who is a GP, who is currently under orders to cut their drugs bill down by 40 million quid, that they will be pushing people to help themselves, as many things can be caused by, or hindered by, obesity. So you might rock up with say, a skin fold infection, or bad acne, or persistent hip pain, and have your weight and diet questioned because of the simple fact that small changes can really make a big difference, and whilst it is never nice, GPs see people every day who are suffering by their own hand. The NHS resources are limited, and tightly squeezed, and if a GP thinks that a bit of blunt speak could prevent a future diabetes case, then its likely they will bring it up, because they are under so much pressure to cut costs.

In some cases of course it is relevant. I think it can possibly make a difference on the relationship (or not) with the GP. Theres lots of issues involved.
I also think that the overweight aer easy targets as the results of their lifestyle are so obvious for everyone to see and though many of us try its undeniable how we get big. Other people can have habits/lifestyles that are more easily hidden but cause a strain on their body/health too.

 

[goingtobeskinnysoon]

Very well put MLM!