Carriegirl21
Silver Member
Hi :wave_cry:
I didn't know where to start this diary - on this bit of the board or in my blog section?
I'm putting it here for now & see how it goes!
I'll try & make this short but I'm a total rambler!
I've done countless diets & weight loss plans since I was a teenager - I mostly did Slimming World but went to my 1st Weight Watchers class last October.
I was doing fine - lost 10lbs & then they changed to ProPoints..... This was a huge change!! I don't do well with change!
So I gave it a go but Christmas spelled disaster for me - I went totally off plan & gained 13lbs! I was so ashamed that it was that much that I couldn't face going back to class & having another person write that on my card... and I never went back.
It was the worst thing I could of done as since then I've ended up 7lbs heavier than when I joined
I used to write a diary on another board & found it really useful so here I am starting another one
It's been a hard year so far & I've been unwell for most of it... but coping with Pain through food played a HUGE part in how I ended up at this weight in the first place - and I want - no, I NEED to take control of my eating.
I don't want to get any bigger because I am hating myself so much right now for letting myself get this heavy AGAIN and I'm totally fed up of being so low about my appearance.
I don't want to look in the mirror & be utterly disgusted.
I don't want to come home from a shopping trip crying because I couldn't find any clothes that looked nice.
I don't want to feel terrified of Summer because I'm so uncomfortable with my appearance that I still cover up my whole body even when it's boiling hot & I end up almost fainting from being heavily dressed in the heat ;(
SO ... That's what I don't want... so what DO I want? ...
I want to stop hating my appearance as it stops me doing things I want to do.
I want to feel like I'm making my body healthier.
I want to not have such a massively hard time buying clothes.. I want to buy what I actually like - not just what fits!
I want my weight not to be the thing that holds me back from moving forward with my life - It controls everything I do - and I hate that I let it.
Well I'm sure there's more but it could go on forever
The 2lb loss on my Ticker - I lost before I officially started counting points again but it was what I needed to spur me on to get back on track.
Alas I stuck to my Pro Points like a saint for 7 whole days - filled in a homemade Tracker 100% honestly ... then weigh in day came & I'd STS!!!
I was so disappointed! I still can't understand it - usually the 1st week sees big loses for people but I would of been happy with even a small loss :sigh:
I don't go to a class so I weigh on my Wii fit board - on a carpeted floor which is less than ideal!
I did lose my motivation that day just because I'd worked so hard to stay on track - for the first time since Christmas I'd managed a whole week!
I'm trying not to let it stop me as I'm telling myself that at least it wasn't a gain.
I won't weigh next week but the following week I will have done 3weeks on Pro points so I'm really hoping to see a loss by then! Not sure what I'll do if I don't!!
Wow this was a crazy long post!
Will leave it there for now - If you made it this far - thanks for reading! I obviously had a lot to say today!
CGx
I didn't know where to start this diary - on this bit of the board or in my blog section?
I'm putting it here for now & see how it goes!
I'll try & make this short but I'm a total rambler!
I've done countless diets & weight loss plans since I was a teenager - I mostly did Slimming World but went to my 1st Weight Watchers class last October.
I was doing fine - lost 10lbs & then they changed to ProPoints..... This was a huge change!! I don't do well with change!
So I gave it a go but Christmas spelled disaster for me - I went totally off plan & gained 13lbs! I was so ashamed that it was that much that I couldn't face going back to class & having another person write that on my card... and I never went back.
It was the worst thing I could of done as since then I've ended up 7lbs heavier than when I joined
I used to write a diary on another board & found it really useful so here I am starting another one
It's been a hard year so far & I've been unwell for most of it... but coping with Pain through food played a HUGE part in how I ended up at this weight in the first place - and I want - no, I NEED to take control of my eating.
I don't want to get any bigger because I am hating myself so much right now for letting myself get this heavy AGAIN and I'm totally fed up of being so low about my appearance.
I don't want to look in the mirror & be utterly disgusted.
I don't want to come home from a shopping trip crying because I couldn't find any clothes that looked nice.
I don't want to feel terrified of Summer because I'm so uncomfortable with my appearance that I still cover up my whole body even when it's boiling hot & I end up almost fainting from being heavily dressed in the heat ;(
SO ... That's what I don't want... so what DO I want? ...
I want to stop hating my appearance as it stops me doing things I want to do.
I want to feel like I'm making my body healthier.
I want to not have such a massively hard time buying clothes.. I want to buy what I actually like - not just what fits!
I want my weight not to be the thing that holds me back from moving forward with my life - It controls everything I do - and I hate that I let it.
Well I'm sure there's more but it could go on forever
The 2lb loss on my Ticker - I lost before I officially started counting points again but it was what I needed to spur me on to get back on track.
Alas I stuck to my Pro Points like a saint for 7 whole days - filled in a homemade Tracker 100% honestly ... then weigh in day came & I'd STS!!!
I was so disappointed! I still can't understand it - usually the 1st week sees big loses for people but I would of been happy with even a small loss :sigh:
I don't go to a class so I weigh on my Wii fit board - on a carpeted floor which is less than ideal!
I did lose my motivation that day just because I'd worked so hard to stay on track - for the first time since Christmas I'd managed a whole week!
I'm trying not to let it stop me as I'm telling myself that at least it wasn't a gain.
I won't weigh next week but the following week I will have done 3weeks on Pro points so I'm really hoping to see a loss by then! Not sure what I'll do if I don't!!
Wow this was a crazy long post!
Will leave it there for now - If you made it this far - thanks for reading! I obviously had a lot to say today!
CGx