phoenix137
New Member
137 Reasons Why I need to Mean it This Time
I thought instead of doing a conventional journal/blog I'd instead think of all the reasons WHY I need to mean it. It was originally going to be 101, but I got inspired by my username. 137 is my lucky number. Coincidently it's also my 'dream weight' - right in the middle of a healthy BMI. Although that's the 'dream' I have no idea what I'd look or feel like at that weight probably I was in Junior School at that point. :/ I'd be happy to simply be overweight instead of [STRIKE]obese[/STRIKE] morbidly obese. I really hate that word; 'morbidly' though sometimes it describes how I feel. Like at 29 I already have one leg (possibly both, plus the hips and stomach) firmly in the grave. That's post though.
137 is also, even more coincidentally, the amount of weight I'd have to lose to get to that dream weight. :/ Honestly having to lose half your body weight to reach your ideal goal, or over 100lbs to be classed as 'normal'... it's a little depressing. I'm trying to look at it as a positive sign though - maybe this truly will be my time.
Anyhow... on with the first reason. I should note here that these are not in any way in order of importance. I think if my main reason for wanting to lose weight was reason number one I'd not get very far... Its just something that came up this week.
REASON ONE ~ THE WALK OF SHAME
I don't know about anyone else, but I love theme parks and rollercoasters. Probably my favourite is Nemesis at Alton Towers. Its a little oldschool now, but to me it still has yet to be beaten. A few days ago a trip to Thorpe park next month was mentioned. On one hand this is very exiting because, for some reason or other I've never actually managed to get there. Yay! Lots of new rides to try out. Then the FatGirlBrain kicks in. WILL I FIT?
Fitting has always been a worry cause I've never exactly been small. I always have managed it though. Even if the ride operators gave themselves a hernia trying to get the restraints down far enough. I've as of yet never had to do the walk of shame. Saying that, I haven't been in 2+ years and was at least 30lbs-40lbs lighter.
I'm assuming people in WeMITT's know of the walk of shame, but just in case any 'I'm so disgustingly big I need to lose 5lb to get to a size 6-ers' have come across this this is when even after your turning blue from breathing your stomach in for ten minutes, and have three attendants full bodyweight trying to get the bar down... it just isn't going to happen. Instead you have to get off and walk back past the swelling queue of people who you know all know the truth. Your just too fat. Even though this hasn't happened to me (as of yet anyway) it has to a friend of mine. She was nicely compensated for it though; to make up for her mortifying embarrassment and wasted queue time she was given a fast track pass - to the ride she was deemed as too big to go on.
She took it well, if it was me I probably would have cried.
So that's my reason for today. I don't want to have to worry about me weight restricting things I do. I don't want to have to research size measurements then meticulously measure myself. I don't want to opt out of fun things... and right now, today, at this weight and with these measurements (curse you apple shape), I don't want to go to Thorpe Park because most of all I never ever want to face the walk of shame.
I thought instead of doing a conventional journal/blog I'd instead think of all the reasons WHY I need to mean it. It was originally going to be 101, but I got inspired by my username. 137 is my lucky number. Coincidently it's also my 'dream weight' - right in the middle of a healthy BMI. Although that's the 'dream' I have no idea what I'd look or feel like at that weight probably I was in Junior School at that point. :/ I'd be happy to simply be overweight instead of [STRIKE]obese[/STRIKE] morbidly obese. I really hate that word; 'morbidly' though sometimes it describes how I feel. Like at 29 I already have one leg (possibly both, plus the hips and stomach) firmly in the grave. That's post though.
137 is also, even more coincidentally, the amount of weight I'd have to lose to get to that dream weight. :/ Honestly having to lose half your body weight to reach your ideal goal, or over 100lbs to be classed as 'normal'... it's a little depressing. I'm trying to look at it as a positive sign though - maybe this truly will be my time.
Anyhow... on with the first reason. I should note here that these are not in any way in order of importance. I think if my main reason for wanting to lose weight was reason number one I'd not get very far... Its just something that came up this week.
REASON ONE ~ THE WALK OF SHAME
I don't know about anyone else, but I love theme parks and rollercoasters. Probably my favourite is Nemesis at Alton Towers. Its a little oldschool now, but to me it still has yet to be beaten. A few days ago a trip to Thorpe park next month was mentioned. On one hand this is very exiting because, for some reason or other I've never actually managed to get there. Yay! Lots of new rides to try out. Then the FatGirlBrain kicks in. WILL I FIT?
Fitting has always been a worry cause I've never exactly been small. I always have managed it though. Even if the ride operators gave themselves a hernia trying to get the restraints down far enough. I've as of yet never had to do the walk of shame. Saying that, I haven't been in 2+ years and was at least 30lbs-40lbs lighter.
I'm assuming people in WeMITT's know of the walk of shame, but just in case any 'I'm so disgustingly big I need to lose 5lb to get to a size 6-ers' have come across this this is when even after your turning blue from breathing your stomach in for ten minutes, and have three attendants full bodyweight trying to get the bar down... it just isn't going to happen. Instead you have to get off and walk back past the swelling queue of people who you know all know the truth. Your just too fat. Even though this hasn't happened to me (as of yet anyway) it has to a friend of mine. She was nicely compensated for it though; to make up for her mortifying embarrassment and wasted queue time she was given a fast track pass - to the ride she was deemed as too big to go on.
She took it well, if it was me I probably would have cried.
So that's my reason for today. I don't want to have to worry about me weight restricting things I do. I don't want to have to research size measurements then meticulously measure myself. I don't want to opt out of fun things... and right now, today, at this weight and with these measurements (curse you apple shape), I don't want to go to Thorpe Park because most of all I never ever want to face the walk of shame.
