20 somethings

Christie I was told that I woukd need help to conceive and wouldnt conceive naturally because of my pcos. Somehow I conceived jack naturally after only 6 months of trying! He's our little miracle :) my pcos is gone now that ive lost weight and this bubba as you all know was a complete surprise! When you're meant to be a mummy you will be :)

We got the results of the test for downs syndrome today and its come back as a 1 in 100,000 chance, so thats fantastic as the test with jack said a 1 in 2,800 chance, and we were happy with that so this is a lot better! :)

Jack's suit for the wedding arrived today, needs taking up in the leg and maybe the arms of the jacket but look how cute he is!! :D xx
 
My C didn't even do any of the Woman of the Year or Miss Slinky stuff. I saw on Facebook that a brilliant, lovely woman at group got WOTY but her certificate was made by someone at group and just decided unofficially by the attendees rather than the C having any involvement. Lovely lady is apparently going to start her own group so I'll have to keep my eye on that!

Jack looks so cute!
 
Oh em that'd be great if she set up her own group. My c has asked me to become a consultant, but I don't drive and I would hate the self employed aspect. Because it is just me I need to know my income. Especially when my mum runs up a £113.14 phone bill! Lol. How sweet that the rest of the group chose to honour her though. I was a bit gutted we didn't do biggest loser earlier this year.

Usually my c is only really good when you are doing well, but I think she sees me getting to Target eventually and being some good advertisement for her group (you saw the photos). I'm feeling so good sw-wise today. If I have a good week until Wednesday I get a nail polish, if I lose 2lbs or more I get a face mask too. When I get back to my lowest weight I can get new straighteners... Mine went on fire on Saturday and my hair is not thanking me right now!

Little goals, little rewards, let's stop the gain train and get back on track. Woo woo
 
Im so trying to be positive but when things start looking up bad things happen, my parents had a car accident yesterday thankfully no permanent injuries but a written off car and now today ive lost my purse with 300 of my wedding money in it and i honestly just felt like giving up, after having a massive meltdown my oh managed to calm me down and we talked through the wedding budget and i think we will be ok if we really scrimp on other things so my diet is definately on the back burner as i will be eating frozen chips and sausage for the next month lol :/
 
Aww he looks absolutely gorgeous sammy x
 
Aww Christie that's an awful day :-(

Sounds like you can still do it on your budget though xx

Sammy he is so cute :) x
 
Hope so, we are able to lend some of the lost money back if needed so got a backup just in case
 
I wish i had a little pageboy i only have 4 flowergirls aged 3, 4, 7 and 8 (though the 8 year is smaller than the 3 year old who is the biggest!
 
Completely irrelevant, but I just read somewhere that a couple that was married for a very long time was asked the secret to their success and they said that it was very simple, that there have been a lot of times over the years that they both wanted a divorce but it was never at the same time and therefore they never went for it.

Somehow this didn't sit very well with me. I mean, I understand that in some cases, sometimes things are really bad and divorce is the only way to go, but mostly I have the impression that nowadays we either have become too selfish to think about the other person, or we have just forgotten how to fight about what we want and we pick the easy way out!

Maybe it's because I haven't been in thaaaat long a relationship yet! My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now, we have been unofficially living together for more than 2 of those years, officially for a bit over one and we have now been engaged for almost 4 months. There have been some pretty rough times and we worked things out, but never even at our darkest moment have I thought about leaving him! This has never been an option for me. Or him.

So, I am really wondering when I read stuff like this. Either we are completely strange, or other couples that say stuff like that are thinking about the easy way out! I don't know, maybe I'm just ranting...
 
To be honest hun I think divorce (in most but not all circumstances) is actually the easy way out. A lot of people get lazy in their relationships and stop working at them and with divorce being so easily available they just take the eaay option. I agree with it in cases such as abuse or adultery etx but feel that when timea get tough you have to work through them. When a couple meet and fall in love there are endorphins all over the place. Eventually the newly in love or lust feeling fades and then you have a choice: you can leave that person and seek those same feelings with someone new where, eventually, the same thing will happen again, or you can make a choice to love that person you're with, make the effort and work at it. There are always difficult times, but if you work at them together you come out of the other side stronger for it. Ben and I will have been together 4 years on the day before our wedding, and for 2 and a half of those years he was out od work and I was the only means of support, even when I was on maternity leave, as he never claimed job seekers. It was so hard, and once I returned to work in january and he was meant to be looking after jack, he felt he had no purpose. He got lazy, stopped looking for work, didnt clean the house, so I worked all day, came home to a super messy house and had to clean up ans look after jack all by myself. It didnt help that I hated my job and felt I was trapped because, even though I wouldnt, I didnt have the option of just quitting if I wanted. I thought about leaving him quite a bit, but I love him and I decided it was wirth working through. I talked to him, told him how I felt, it turned out he was depressed and feeling useless so gad no get up and go. So I gave him an ultimatum. I said if he hadn't found a job by a certain time that I was cancelling the wedding. Thst gave him the drive he needed and he got a job. The relief was immediate and our relationship improved overnight and we are much stronger together now. Leaving him would have been the easy way out in my opinion, but we worked at it and got through it.

Sorry for the essay lol but it's something I feel quite strongly about as you can see lol xx
 
No no, don't apologize about the essay! I am happy that I am not the only one out there!
I have been "preaching" about this kind of approach since I was 17. Well, back then it wasn't divorce, it was mainly my girlfriends complaining about their boyfriends and breaking up because they were too bored to try or staying with someone that didn't treat them well, because of fear of being alone and the reply I always got was "what do you know? you don't even have a boyfriend!"
Anyway, the thing that triggered this in the first place was this blog post that I read of a woman that has two small children and was saying that in the 10 years that she has been with her husband she has thought numerous times about leaving him. It just somehow hit home, especially since she has kids and I couldn't just let it go!
Even the thought of leaving my boyfriend - fiancee...I have to learn to call him like that!! - leaves me depressed! And we did go through a similar unemployment patch as well. It was in the beginning of our relationship. Thankfully I didn't have to give him an ultimatum, he found a job after 4 months of looking. But he was really stressed about it and that put a lot of pressure on our relationship. I still stayed with him and did all I could to support him, even though we had been together only for a few months. I have friends who have broken up long-term relationships for this reason...!
 
I feel the same too i suppose me and oh have certainly had nothing but struggles to get us to this point but we have worked through every one of them together he has been out of work for 3 years now but i dont push him to get a job as i know he had a steady job at home before he gave that up to be with me plus i dont want to live here forever so having just one of us tied to a job helps a little with that as he can look for jobs elsewhere and then when he finds something we will move. My parents have been married 30 years next year, the last 17 years they have lived apart, only seeing each other on weekends and booked holidays but they are still in love and both happy and i dont think they would still be together now if they hadnt had that bit of space to have their own hobbies and friends etc.. not that everyone needs to have as much space as that lol but it definately helps to have your own interests so your not together every second of every day which eill certainly settle you into a dull routine, although saying that i spend alot of time with oh and i love it and still havent got bored of it after 4 years as i spent the first 4 years of our relationship without him so i cherish what time i have
 
The only reason I gave him the ultimatum to get a job was because I knew that not having a job was what was causing his depression which was then resulting in the things he was doing ti make me unhappy which meant we were both unhappy. I was supporting him and doing everythjng and trying to pay for this big wedding all by myself and he was doing nothing, so the pressure was too much for me. Giving him the ultimatum gave him the motivation he needed to get out there and find a job and made him realise that he had to fight for the relationship to make it work too. He'd got complacent and lazy and caught up in his own misery feeling sorry for himself because he was out of work but not doing anything about it. It wasn't good for us and it certainly wasn't goos for poor jack, im sure he would have been able to tell the atmosphere wasnt right and I didnt want him having to grow up with that and for ben and I to be unhappy too, so I had to do something and that was what worked.

Thinking and doing something are two different thungs though. Its ok to think every now and then about leaving your partner when you're having a tough time and thibgs aren't their best, it wouldn't be a healthy relationship if you never had a disagreement, but making that decision to work at it and not leave makes it ok, just because leaving crosses your mind doesnt mean you'll do it. But I guess it depends on the person. Not many people our age are like us xx
 
Yes, I'm with you! I don't want to create a misunderstanding, sometimes writing something on the internet can be misinterpreted because of the way you put it in words...! I didn't mean that you were wrong to give him an ultimatum! I just mean that in our case it wasn't necessary! And I'm glad it wasn't, because I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for the both of you! Especially having a baby to take care of at the same time! In your shoes I probably would have done the same!
 
Tbh i probs would do the same if we had a child and he had stopped helping around the house, luckily my oh does all the cleaning and cooking which makes up for him not working atm plus he earns himself 'pocket money' from the guy we live with for keeping the house clean so at least he can contribute that to the food etc..
 
Dont worry hunny I know you didnt mean anything by it, I just meant that sometimes ultimatums are what is needed to get someone to buck their ideas up lol :) luckily in my case it worked... less than 2 weeks and we'll be married! :D xx
 
Exciting isnt it? Got my mum and dad worrying now though about our honeymoon in Egypt!
 
Hope it settles soon Christie x

Our honeymoon to Tunisia was just after all the trouble there but turned out fine in the end so fingers crossed you're the same x
 
We are going to sharm and atm there hasnt been any trouble there and its a good 8 hour drive from cairo with limited roads so the holiday companies are still happy to send people there so im not bothered, obviously if it gets bad then the company should offer an exchange but I think it will be fine, I dont plan on leaving the resort much except to go to the market maybe for some gifts as we are going all inclusive and just want to relax so im sure its fine there are thousands of people on holiday there atm all fine, I can understand their worry though but im not about to waste 1300 of my mils money lol
 
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