25 stone to 19 stone in 8 months.

hi lovely how are you feeling x x x
 
Hey Helena - don't be a stranger lass. x
 
Dear ladies... many thanks for all the messages. It really touches my heart to know that there are women out there, who I have never met, who care about me. I could write loads, but it's too risky on here. I thank whoever said move this to some private place by contacting someone or other but I don't know how and I don't know who and to be honest I am currently caught up in a whirlwind of crisis and I just cannot find the time to put aside to work it all out... When everything has calmed down a bit and I have some spare time. I will.

Sorry ladies.

I will be back I promise.

Helena xxxxx
 
Sorry to hear things are so awful at the minute hun. We're always here to help you if/however we can - let us know if we can x
 
366to266 said:
Dear ladies... many thanks for all the messages. It really touches my heart to know that there are women out there, who I have never met, who care about me. I could write loads, but it's too risky on here. I thank whoever said move this to some private place by contacting someone or other but I don't know how and I don't know who and to be honest I am currently caught up in a whirlwind of crisis and I just cannot find the time to put aside to work it all out... When everything has calmed down a bit and I have some spare time. I will. Sorry ladies. I will be back I promise. Helena xxxxx
Click to expand...
It was me who told you to move it. If you go to the tech support subforum you can request for them to move it, or alternatively pm Mini or Starlight and ask them x
 
Hello my ladies, my girlies, my women/womyn/wimin!

Please Sparkle don't worry about me, I am really fine now, hunky dory, I have stepped up, found my power and am telling em like it is!

I don't want my thread to be invisible to new members as you never know, I might meet a new friend. I just have to be clear in my mind exactly how I am going to deal with folk being mean to me. I've been picked on and bullied since I was a small child and that is why I am super-sensitive to it and why it does not help me one bit.

However, "stuff" has happened online which at first upset me terribly, but then I started getting some small support, and that encouraged me to re-start posting after I'd retreated after being bashed. So now I feel like I am flying... flying through the air, the words are flowing, and I suddenly found a voice they will listen to. Sorry this probably all sounds like a load of garbage to those who have no idea what it is about. I will shut up now and talk about ..................... dieting! Yay!

Dieting this week = total disaster. I currently am really struggling with two very serious problems.

1. Terrific craving for double portions

2. Terrific craving for takeaways

3. Terrific craving for family sized bars of Galaxy Caramel

Every day I say I am not going to have ANY of them. I start off well, but most days, at some point I "crack". I don't have all three on the same day. It's like, if it's home cooked food, I have a double portion. If I have a dieter's portion, then a few hours later I crack and ring for a takeaway, or I crack and nip out for the chocolate. This is despite having calorie controlled portions of dieter's chocolate to hand.

I dunno what is wrong with me. I'm throwing away everything I was working towards.

To compound this, I stay in and sit or lie down the whole time. I cannot bear going out in the cold (other than to run a few metres to the sweetshop). It's just office/PC, sofa (under duvet) or bed, 24/7.

Night after night I go to bed promising myself I will go to the pool next morning. Then when I get up and it's freezing cold I cannot bear the thought of getting all cold between the lockers and the pool and then entering the cool water. Wince!

Twice in the past week I have got up, put my swimsuit on, then literally sat in my swimsuit the whole day, telling myself I'll go in a minute, or after this cuppa, or during the lunchtime adult only session, or at 4pm. (I cannot go whenever I want because the pool is only open to all comers at certain times.) And then I just don't go. My yearly ticket ends 8th Feb. I paid £260 last year and have been probably 10 times. £26 per visit. Ugh.

Of course I feel terrible about all this. Guilty, a failure, letting myself down, letting all you lovely, caring ladies down, letting down also my holiday companion, who is expecting a trip to Italy and Switzerland at Easter, which I wanted to be 19 stone for. Instead I am still 24 stone 6. I suppose there is a bit of me that is saying if I cannot now reach my goal of 19st by Easter why bother at all, because I've failed, I've lost, I'm hopeless.

It goes to show that maybe making a weight goal is really stupid. My goal should be X weeks of sticking to my diet, not X pounds lost in X weeks.

I really don't know why I am sabotaging my diet. Maybe its because I've taken such a bashing from online bullies these last few weeks, owing to a women's rights campaign I started, maybe I feel I need my blubber as some kind of force-field between myself and the world. But the stupid thing is, if I am slimmer then I am healthier and stronger and more able to fight.

Dunno what else to say but, I will try again tomorrow, and the next day, until something finally "clicks" and I am back in the zone.

xxx
 
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Hello, nice to see you post :)

Your list of terrible cravings sounds a lot like me a few months ago. And the not going out thing.

I don't know what to suggest to you. What worked for me was taking the anti depressants and sorting out my mind and emotions and then everything else fell into place.

If you are eating double portions then perhaps you could try a slimming world diet as you can have as much as you want of free foods. I don't know the ins and outs as I've not done the diet but I do know you can have things like chilli and wedges, currys and rice, gammon and potatoes etc. They are nice comfort foods to have and as long as you cook them to the SW specifications then you can fill up on them.

Just an idea for you xxx
 
What about forgetting about the gym and swimming completely for a few days and try to do something indoors? Walking on the spot for X amounts of minutes per hour rather than lying on the sofa or maybe doing a DVD? Keep drinking plenty and keep logging and chatting and hopefully your mind will follow suit.

Internet trolls are awful but if you rattle them its because you are doing something RIGHT. Be proud of yourself and your achievements. YOU ARE NOT hopeless or a failure youve just hit a bump in the road xx
 
Hi Helena,
great to see you back here.

did you see the BBC Horizon diet programme? There is a quiz you can do on the website to find out what 'type' of overwater you are - I'm a feaster!! It then suggests what the best diet approach is for you.

have you looked at Lesley Sansome DVDs. They are excercise vids, but walking in the spot only and some of the first step basic ones might be a good idea to get you going. I know I find it easier to excercise at home rather than trying to get myself out to the pool. I'm thinking of trying the Lesley Sansome DVDs too.

Great to hear you're back in the head space. This is our year Helena xxxxx
 
Bigbear said:
Hi Helena, great to see you back here. did you see the BBC Horizon diet programme? There is a quiz you can do on the website to find out what 'type' of overwater you are - I'm a feaster!! It then suggests what the best diet approach is for you. have you looked at Lesley Sansome DVDs. They are excercise vids, but walking in the spot only and some of the first step basic ones might be a good idea to get you going. I know I find it easier to excercise at home rather than trying to get myself out to the pool. I'm thinking of trying the Lesley Sansome DVDs too. Great to hear you're back in the head space. This is our year Helena xxxxx
Click to expand...

I second Leslie Sansone. You can do a 1 mile walk in 15 mins in your living room :) her vids are free on YouTube.
Once you get going after a few days you can just do the moves while you watch TV or something. That's what I do. Stops you getting bored then xx
 
hershey said:
If you are eating double portions then perhaps you could try a slimming world diet as you can have as much as you want of free foods. I don't know the ins and outs as I've not done the diet but I do know you can have things like chilli and wedges, currys and rice, gammon and potatoes etc. They are nice comfort foods to have and as long as you cook them to the SW specifications then you can fill up on them. xxx
Click to expand...

Thanks Lou. I expect the SW thing is heaps of veggies and almost no fat or sugar. I made a good start yesterday by having a big bowl of steamed broccoli with some home made beef and vegetable stew on top, which was little beef and a lot of gravy.

I also managed to get through the day without buying any sweetshop chocolate; instead I had one Slimfast bar and one Special K bar.

Unfortunately it all fell down later when on impulse I rang for fish n chips and they won't deliver for one portion so I had to order two and put one aside for today. Predictably, I ate one at 4.30pm and the other at 8pm :-(

Breakfast today is a big chopped up fresh fruit salad smothered in plain live bio yoghurt. I guess SW would be ok with that, too?

Sweetshop shuts at 12noon and it's 11 now so I think I can safely say I won't be going there today, the fruit having satiated the sugar cravings.

I don't feel remotely depressed any more. Under stress from the death threats issued by a man who lives only feet away from me, yes; but the stress from the online activities has disappeared, to be replaced with a missionary zeal! It's funny, because I just heard Sue Townsend on Desert Island Discs say that the poor woman's cure for depression is to keep really busy.

That I most certainly am!

xxx
 
366to266 said:
Thanks Lou. I expect the SW thing is heaps of veggies and almost no fat or sugar. I made a good start yesterday by having a big bowl of steamed broccoli with some home made beef and vegetable stew on top, which was little beef and a lot of gravy. I also managed to get through the day without buying any sweetshop chocolate; instead I had one Slimfast bar and one Special K bar. Unfortunately it all fell down later when on impulse I rang for fish n chips and they won't deliver for one portion so I had to order two and put one aside for today. Predictably, I ate one at 4.30pm and the other at 8pm :-( Breakfast today is a big chopped up fresh fruit salad smothered in plain live bio yoghurt. I guess SW would be ok with that, too? Sweetshop shuts at 12noon and it's 11 now so I think I can safely say I won't be going there today, the fruit having satiated the sugar cravings. I don't feel remotely depressed any more. Under stress from the death threats issued by a man who lives only feet away from me, yes; but the stress from the online activities has disappeared, to be replaced with a missionary zeal! It's funny, because I just heard Sue Townsend on Desert Island Discs say that the poor woman's cure for depression is to keep really busy. That I most certainly am! xxx
Click to expand...

You started off well yesterday. Maybe keep a takeaway as a once a week treat, that way you can look forward to it and chose what you have carefully. My cravings change everyday so today I may fancy Chinese and tomorrow maybe pizza so instead of having each one I get to the treat day and then decide which craving overwhelms!
You know you will have it on treat day so you can work really hard during the week then really enjoy your treat on treat day without missing out :)

Today sounds good too. What are you planning for lunch and tea?

I don't know about the SW plan, only the very basics. But I cant imagine fruit is frowned upon x
 
Estameme said:
What about forgetting about the gym and swimming completely for a few days and try to do something indoors? Walking on the spot for X amounts of minutes per hour rather than lying on the sofa or maybe doing a DVD? Keep drinking plenty and keep logging and chatting and hopefully your mind will follow suit.

Internet trolls are awful but if you rattle them its because you are doing something RIGHT. Be proud of yourself and your achievements. YOU ARE NOT hopeless or a failure youve just hit a bump in the road xx
Click to expand...

I really can't be bothered to march on the spot or anything. Aren't I terrible? The only thing that fires me up is a certain kind of wild rock music, then I cannot stop myself from getting up and jiggling about. Maybe I should try to remember to do that once or twice a day. I am just feeling like a totally physically lazy old mare. I saw physically because my mind is absolutely overloaded with info at the moment: reading, writing, talking...

As for the trolls, after reading some advice sent to me, partly saying exactly what you have, that I must be rattling them, and nobody ever achieved anything without upsetting someone, I decided to stop defending myself (that was very draining!) and instead just totally ignore them and just write what I want to write. I've felt a lot more powerful since then! I now feel like I am free, like I'm flying across rooftops like a seagull.
 
366to266 said:
I really can't be bothered to march on the spot or anything. Aren't I terrible? The only thing that fires me up is a certain kind of wild rock music, then I cannot stop myself from getting up and jiggling about. Maybe I should try to remember to do that once or twice a day. I am just feeling like a totally physically lazy old mare. I saw physically because my mind is absolutely overloaded with info at the moment: reading, writing, talking... As for the trolls, after reading some advice sent to me, partly saying exactly what you have, that I must be rattling them, and nobody ever achieved anything without upsetting someone, I decided to stop defending myself (that was very draining!) and instead just totally ignore them and just write what I want to write. I've felt a lot more powerful since then! I now feel like I am free, like I'm flying across rooftops like a seagull.
Click to expand...

You are Jonathan Livingston Seagull x
 
Bigbear said:
Hi Helena,
great to see you back here.

did you see the BBC Horizon diet programme? There is a quiz you can do on the website to find out what 'type' of overwater you are - I'm a feaster!! It then suggests what the best diet approach is for you.

have you looked at Lesley Sansome DVDs. They are excercise vids, but walking in the spot only and some of the first step basic ones might be a good idea to get you going. I know I find it easier to excercise at home rather than trying to get myself out to the pool. I'm thinking of trying the Lesley Sansome DVDs too.

Great to hear you're back in the head space. This is our year Helena xxxxx
Click to expand...

Cheers Claire. No I didn't see that prog. I never really watch TV. I've got a huge heap of online tasks to achieve today so I doubt I'll be doing any quizzes. Plus I have to pack up by 4pm as b/f #2 is visiting. I am hoping for a nice long back massage whilst we watch a DVD.

As for Leslie, I'd rather do chair aerobics, but I can't be bothered at the moment. I do feel guilty about my lack of activity. Sorry :-(
 
366to266 said:
Cheers Claire. No I didn't see that prog. I never really watch TV. I've got a huge heap of online tasks to achieve today so I doubt I'll be doing any quizzes. Plus I have to pack up by 4pm as b/f #2 is visiting. I am hoping for a nice long back massage whilst we watch a DVD. As for Leslie, I'd rather do chair aerobics, but I can't be bothered at the moment. I do feel guilty about my lack of activity. Sorry :-(
Click to expand...
how many bfs do you have you saucy lady?!!!
 
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