25 stone to 19 stone in 8 months.

That is VERY odd behaviour by your doctor - the last thing you need is to be scared witless, unnecessarily! What about seeing someone else?

And well done on the weight drop, and on the house cleaning exercise - it all counts x
 
Hi Susie

It's a big GP practice and I've never seen this doc before .. she was a young woman, about 25 yrs old. I could go back and see my fave one, the one I've decided to nominate as 'mine'. I'm not happy with seeing a different one each time.

In the last month or so my life has been filled with paramedics, hospitals, doctors, nurses, pharmacists, medical technicians and an osteopath. I've had a chest xray, a vaginal scan, an ECG, and phoned the ENT three times to defer an appointment as I've been too ill to travel the 30-mile round trip to attend. I've filled in medical questionnaires for the trainer and the osteopath. I'm heartily sick of it all and the last thing I feel like is seeing another one about this leg trouble. But I suppose I must <sigh>.


Fate is playing quite a trick on me; it must know that I hate all medical procedures and examinations. I'd love to be one of those who says proudly that they haven't seen a medic in 20 years. Instead, I've seen 20 in one month!

I only had one professional engagement in the diary: a public talk in London on 25th, booked a year ago. I felt awful letting my hosts down, but I had to cancel early to give them a chance to get another speaker.

Good news ... knee is getting better; coughing and wheezing decreases daily as the antibiotics take effect, no more womb pain. 8th day without chocolate, kept under 1800 calories for the past 3 days; not a single cheat since Monday... and most of all, I am feeling really positive and determined with my diet. I want to get to under 20 stone with this current 'big push'.

I really feel that I finally have it sussed: I know exactly what to eat to keep me satisfied. Fingers crossed that this optimism continues.

Helena
 
Its fantastic that in light of everything going on, the numerous medical procedures and general uncertainty and stress that goes along with it, that you're prioritising the weight loss and succeeding with it. Mahoosive congratulations for that!

I'd definately go see another Dr for a final explanation about your leg, for the Dr to do a U-turn like that... well it wouldn't give me any confidence!
 
Its fantastic that in light of everything going on, the numerous medical procedures and general uncertainty and stress that goes along with it, that you're prioritising the weight loss and succeeding with it. Mahoosive congratulations for that!

I'd definately go see another Dr for a final explanation about your leg, for the Dr to do a U-turn like that... well it wouldn't give me any confidence!

Cheers, Stackie.

Weighed today, naked but for bra (a treat for the neighbours opposite) and am on the way back down. 332.6 yesterday, 331.2 today.

Personal trainer coming at 1pm. Otherwise on bum all day.

Aquafit + osteo tomorrow.

Helena
 
Really NOT happy with the new personal trainer. And now I am really stressed out from thinking about how I can tell her. She's fierce and aggressive, and the type who gets angry really fast AND never admits she's wrong. How on earth am I going to raise my grievances?

Edited to add: just talked it through with my boyfriend and explained that although I am not happy with the service received from the trainer, I dreaded telling her as I am scared that she will explode with anger, then get really defensive, and refuse to be reasonable.

He said it's not right to be so scared of someone who you are paying for a service that you cannot even raise a legitimate grievance. He then helped me to write this email, which I have sent.

My stomach was literally churning with anxiety whilst I wrote it and now I've sent it I literally crave chocolate (though I have had none of 8 days). How ironic that it should be dealing with the trainer, the person who I've employed to HELP me, that has stressed me out and made me want chocolate! So I had two small wholemeal and a small tin of pilchards and a couple of grapes and am trying to stay strong.

Here's what I wrote:


"I've very grateful to you for introducing me to the sparring and the ball-slamming, two exercises that I've never done before; I'm really enjoying the physical challenges of these, and also glad that you have exposed the weakness of my triceps, caused by my accidentally building up my biceps too much. I also loved the seafront walks and look forward to plenty more of these once my knee gets better.

I'm less happy about other aspects of our sessions. Firstly, I signed up for one-hour sessions, of which 45 minutes is the physical exercise and the rest reviewing, discussing, and dietary advice. Yesterday after you left I reheated my cuppa then phoned my boyfriend and he was very surprised to hear from me, as it was still only 1:37pm. So you must have left about 1.35pm, instead of 2pm.

As you have lost a magnificent ten stone, I was expecting the non-exercise element to comprise of insights and tips and tricks on how to stick to a restrictive diet long term; recipes, and psychological coping techniques. I'm not happy that this has turned out to be just you glancing briefly at my food diary and saying "Don't eat that".

I'm writing to give you the chance to put things right. "

I do have a couple of other grievances, but I didn't want to put too many in one message. I feel too restricted by fear of her response to tell her everything. It's just that, I sprained my knee, and yet she acted personally annoyed about this, like she was "blaming" me. And then she was trying to bully me into doing exercises that were going to use the knee. When I declined she seemed annoyed. I would have thought that if she is a qualified personal trainer, her attitude should be "That's OK, there are lots of exercises we can do that don't involve the knee!"

I'm going to do an hour's aquafit today, from 1030 to 1130, then off to see my osteopath. She is also angry about me seeing an osteopath, because he gave me a warning about wear and tear on my hips. She even asked me for his number so she could phone and "have a go" at him. This man has been to university for 6 yrs to study the human body and osteopathy, and holds a master's degree in it. I'd be a fool to pay for such expert advice then ignore it just because it makes her angry.

I deeply regret paying for 12 sessions in advance. I did this so that I could not back out when the exercise became hard. I did not realise that it would cause the trainer to be lackadaisical and to disrespect me by cheating me out of almost half the session :-(
 
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Oh dear, Helena, she sounds terrible! Does she belong to any sort of regulating body you can complain to? Please don't let her bully you into using your knee if it's troubling you, I know all too well the crippling effect of doing irreparable damage to your knees! Definitely listen to the osteopath over her, and take care. :) xx
 
Yes we don't like bullies!!!! That's no way to help someone! I think it shows she has zilch memory of being big and the issues that come with that - like sore knees!

Has she responded yet?
 
Hi Helena, I'm so sorry I've been absent, I've been having a God-awful year and have just had chance to catch up with everyone's diaries rather than just moaning into mine! I'm so sorry it seems to have been a whirlwind for you too since we last spoke! I promise to do better and be here for support more often!

Your personal trainer sounds awful, nobody should bully you into anything, especially when you are paying them for help. I'm surprised someone who used to be big is so unhelpful when it comes to nutrition and health advice, you might find she has the attitude of "I did it, so can you" rather than remembering how hard of a struggle it was. As a personal trainer she should be well aware of exercises that don't involve using injured body parts, they are meant to be able to adapt plans depending on the client.

Is there a way to perhaps get your money back and try someone else? Certainly if she doesn't address your concerns at this point then then future sessions with her are probably going to stay the same. Did she say how she had lost the weight? Maybe she's not actually too clued up on nutrition?

You might be getting more exercise, but if it's stressing you to the point of wanting to eat naughties all the time it hardly seems worth it.

Please accept my apologies again.
X
 
Sounds like she has been watching to much biggest loser !!!!! well done for expressing your concerns, hopefully you can work past it, if not the professional thing for her to do would be to return the fee for the remaining sessions and back out.
I get that part of her role is to push you, but not to the point it becomes bullying and causes you stress x

stay strong and positive and i hope your knee is healing xx
 
Sounds like she has been watching to much biggest loser !!!!! well done for expressing your concerns, hopefully you can work past it, if not the professional thing for her to do would be to return the fee for the remaining sessions and back out.
I get that part of her role is to push you, but not to the point it becomes bullying and causes you stress x

stay strong and positive and i hope your knee is healing xx

That's what I thought! Biggest Loser techniques don't work in the real work though, without all the medical and nutritional experts on hand etc. :) xx
 
Really sorry to hear you're having these issues with your PT Helena. She is bang out of order IMHO> Cheating you out of almost half your session is indefensible. I expect she doesn't come cheap so you have paid 50% for nothing at all. She does seem to have watched too many episodes of TBL as the other ladies have observed. What is not widely reported is how many of the participants in that show end up with stress fractures - including one who had to be admitted to hospital for a stress fracture of the pelvis. It just goes to show that with all the best will in the world you have to listen to your body - and if you have joint problems you need to rest the affected part and as you have suggested, work around it. Otherwise you're just asking for trouble.


You'll get the measure of the woman now H. If she deals with this constructively you can move forward. If not... well, let's just hope she'll refund you your money. Let us know how you get on. ((hugs)) Kx
 
THANKS everyone for the support.

My stomach was churning each time I thought about it, all day... but her response was not the angry, defensive one I'd expected. Thank goodness she said that she was concerned that I wasn't 100% happy, and she does want to put it right.

She DID admit that the physical activity element is supposed to be 45 minutes, not 35. Then she claimed to have arrived 10 minutes early, which she definitely did not, as when she knocked I was sitting at my computer (with my b/f) and I instantly looked at the PC's clock and said, "1259, that must be her - she's always bang on time."

Anyway, I have replied to her to say that she owes me 10 mins training. Also, that I don't want her to sit in judgment over my food diary. Like I said, I wanted tips on how to stick to a diet and ways of coping psychologically, not just to be told "You shouldn't be eating that". I've told myself that constantly for 30 years, and it's never worked. She did give me one or two "recipe tips", that is quite useful, but mostly just looked annoyed at me.


I was wondering if everyone experiences this kind of thing or is it just me? What I mean is, being cheated, getting poor service, being taken advantage of, getting a raw deal, not getting what you paid for, or being overcharged? I do sometimes wonder if it's me because it happens so often, in different circumstances. For example one time it was a hypnotherapist. I paid for 45 min sessions, but she was always with her previous client when I arrived so I had to wait and by the time we got started it was ten past, and yet she always terminated on time. Another time a roofer went up on my roof, just to give me an estimate, but when he returned he said he'd done some work and charged me £180. I could bore you with twenty other examples, but I won't ;-)

AND NOW THE GOOD NEWS

Yesterday I had a tin of pilchards on two Warburton toast. Total 300 calories. I deffo recommend this as a breakfast to anyone. Last AGES in the tummy, has loads of nutrients like protein, Omega 3 (or is it 6?) and wholegrains.

Then I did a solid hour aqua-zumba without once stopping for a breather. I felt fantastic... so full of energy. Sometimes it's hard to believe I am nearly 57 and weigh 332lbs. Then I struggled out of the pool and felt every single POUND of it as I waddled to the shower.

Taxi to my handsome young osteopath, who did quite a bit of manipulation of my legs to try to free a trapped nerve. I actually enjoyed the sensation of having my legs pulled and bent this way and that. I did NOT enjoy the bits where he pressed his huge, powerful thumbs into my soft, flabby flesh and I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I screamed like the big baby that I am! I loved that he was 100% honest with me without being judgmental or in any way sneering. He said "90% of the problem is caused by your weight." He said it in such a friendly, matter-of-fact way, as though he was telling an overly tall man that his back problems are "caused by his height". The other 10% is wear and tear.

From there instead of waiting at the bus stop right outside I just started walking, downhill then slightly uphill, just wandering wherever my fancy took me, for about 20 minutes. When I'd had enough I called a taxi. Got home about 3pm and tucked into a big bowl of home made mince bolognaise, on a bed or mixed veg and brown rice. It was made without fat so I guestimate it at 650 calories.

With the fishy breakfast and a couple of cups of tea I ended the day on about 1,000 calories.

I then fasted from 4pm right up until 10am today.

I'm currently toying with the idea of intermittent fasting, 16/8 and 5:2, to see which I can tolerate without any discomfort. I seem to have naturally fallen into the habit of not eating past 6pm and I can easily go till 9 or 10am. All of this is a way to reduce calories consumed, and reduce insulin levels, by keeping the "feeding window" small. It should also have an effect on cortisol and other hormones.

I was struck this morning by the idea of doing the Hastings Half Marathon, but in sections. I've already walked a mile twice with my PT, so that's 2 miles. If we do that another 11 times, I'll have walked 13 miles!

Came down and weighed naked, and found I'd dropped to 329. Very slow progress, so disappointing :-( But I will carry on regardless.

Just done my Tesco order for Tuesday. Have ordered 10 Covent Garden soups as they are currently half price. (They are freezable.) Am thinking of having pilchards for breakfast (300 calories), half a carton of CG soup (170) with 4oz chicken breast meat (120) fried in olive oil (100) and some veg thrown in (100) for lunch, and granola and live yoghurt and fruit (600) for dinner, and see how that goes. With milk in tea and lemon juice in fruit tea, that will bring it up to around 1800.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend. I only wish I had the time to visit everyone else's diaries and give some support. I do feel guilty about that, sorry :-(
 
Tracy I don't really know anything about PTs and whether they have regulating bodies. I only know that she's qualified from her own lips, she has never shown me any diplomas or anything.


Susie... you could be right. Maybe someone who used to be 23stone isn't the best. Could it be that she despises fat people a bit? Hmmm...


Llama ... oh goodness me please never apologise. I am the very WORST person on here for failing to read others' diaries and give support.


Mandy.. Tracy ... Krup... yep I think you have hit the nail on the head. Those bully-fat-people TV shows!


I don't mind her "bullying" me into doing "one more lift" when I'm tired or my triceps hurt, or one more "step up" when I think I cannot. This is why I have a trainer rather than doing it alone. Where she is out of order is sneering sceptically at my sprained knee and telling me to ignore the advice of a man who spent four years at university studying human bones, muscles, ligaments, joints, etc. If she DOES hold some kind of diploma, it will be given for a few weeks' study at quite a shallow level. Also, as you all said, I have to listen to my own body. She was making me do jerking moves during boxing sparring practice on Friday, which hurt my knee and when I told her it hurt she said it could not possibly hurt as all the movement comes from the waist. She then demonstrated this and lo and behold her knee moved sideways! (Try it! It's impossible for the muscles around the knee not to move.)

Later she scolded me for not doing the Paul Eugene chairobics. As they focus on "marching on the spot" (seated) there is no way I could or should do that with a sprained knee!

I think I just have to stand up to her and say, NO, I am not risking hurting myself.

Her accusation all the time is that I am "just making excuses to get out of doing exercise". This is of course utter nonsense, as is proved by the fact that the very next day I voluntarily did one hour's aqua fit in her absence, using the damaged leg/knee the whole time, but not putting any weight on it. Plus I walked for 20 minutes a bit later.

Anyway, I will shut up about her now. Lesson learned: do not pay up front!
 
Oh there was just one other thing I want to say ...

Everyone who gives advice on dieting is convinced that they know THE way (the ONLY way) to lose weight effectively. I bet everyone here has experienced this!

Some people insist that dieting does not work, it's all about exercise.

Some people insist that exercise does not work, it's all about dieting.

Some people insist that it does not matter WHAT you eat so long as you reduce calories.

Some people insist that calorie-counting is wrong, you just need to "eat healthily" (whatever THAT means!)

Some people insist that you don't need to count calories OR exercise, you just need to eat high fat, high protein and the weight will drop off.

Some people insist that you don't need to count calories OR exercise, you just need to eat low fat vegetarian (or vegan) and the weight will drop off.

My osteopath says it's as simple as this: you create a deficit of 3,500 calories and you lose a pound. Simple in-and-out biology. Exercise at a high weight is bad and should be avoided until BMI is down to below 40.

My trainer says it's as simple as this: you do a lot of exercise and so long as you eat "healthy meals" you do not need to count calories and you will lose weight.* Simple in-and-out biology. Hard exercise, even at a high weight, is the way to lose and should never be avoided even if it hurts.

And the problem is, often, that people holding these views can be very insistent and they get terribly offended if you suggest that there is another way than the one they advocate. They often shout "nonsense!" when told that XY and Z lost a load of weight in a way different from the one they are promoting.

(* My trainer scolded me for eating cake, and when I told her that I'd cut back the rest of the day and still ended the day on 1,800 calories she said "That isn't the point! The point is, you will never lose weight eating cake!" Er, she hasn't met Tracy!)
 
Haha, she certainly hasn't! I'm currently maintaining my weight at a steady 142lbs, down from 301lbs, and have never given up cake, or chocolate, I just eat a hell of a lot less of it, and enjoy it all the more as a result. Of course, I've also done no exercise, but I would never try to say that mine is the best way to do it - but it's certainly ONE way, and done let anyone try to tell you otherwise! Just keep plugging away at it, Helena, and eventually you'll find the unique method that works for you, because we're all individuals. :) xx
 
Haha, she certainly hasn't! I'm currently maintaining my weight at a steady 142lbs, down from 301lbs, and have never given up cake, or chocolate, I just eat a hell of a lot less of it, and enjoy it all the more as a result. Of course, I've also done no exercise, but I would never try to say that mine is the best way to do it - but it's certainly ONE way, and done let anyone try to tell you otherwise! Just keep plugging away at it, Helena, and eventually you'll find the unique method that works for you, because we're all individuals. :) xx

My trainer would be horrified, confused and bewildered to meet you, Tracy. You go against everything she believes in. Her entire belief system would be challenged. You've actually lost a bit more than her, as it goes.

Right, I lost track of my weight a little bit over the last few weeks, but I have just searched through my diary and found an entry on 21st Feb (3 weeks yesterday) that my weight that day was 339.8 wearing leggings, socks and a tee shirt. And I was 329.6 today (naked).

So, if we deduct, say, 4lb for my clothes, then I was 335.8 three weeks ago and that means I have lost 6lb. In other words, exactly the 2lb a week we are told is the healthiest rate at which to lose!

Hurrah!
 
That's great, Helena! I don't think your clothes would have been that heavy, either, so it's probably a bit more. It's the perfect rate to lose at. :)

I really hate it when people are closed minded to other ways of doing things. My husband is very exercise-oriented, as he's been a competitive athlete for over thirty years - in his mind, exercise is everything. But even he's now had to admit that you can achieve major weight loss without it. I would never discourage anyone from exercising, I know the ideal scenario is dietary control for weight loss and exercise for health, but my particular circumstances just preclude the latter. :) xx
 
I would never discourage anyone from exercising, I know the ideal scenario is dietary control for weight loss and exercise for health, but my particular circumstances just preclude the latter. :) xx

Your story has really helped me because now I feel that, if I have a lapse and eat a Belgian bun or a takeaway, it's not the end of the world. This has been my biggest problem, all these decades. If I got, say, 3 days into a diet and then cheated, I'd become so utterly despondent that I'd tell myself there was no point in even trying, since I clearly could not stick to any diet. It was this thinking that saw my weight rise from 15 stone (when I started my first diet) to nearly 27 stone.

Now if I cheat I am learning to think: "Yum, I enjoyed that. Now, let's draw a line under it and get straight back on plan." Maybe even "cut back on calories to pay for that cream bun."


At my top weight in 2010 I weighed 371 lbs... Today I weighed 329.6. So, that is 41lb gone. Point four of a pound short of 3 stone lost.
 
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Well done on the loss Helena! That's fab! And that's an amazing amount of exercise yesterday which just shows what you can do if you think outside the box and work around an injury instead of aggravating it. And yes, I think you're absolutely right - just because you fall off the wagon temporarily doesn't mean you need to give up altogether OR to beat up on yourself. Just dust yourself down and get right back on plan. Its about progress NOT perfection. Two steps forward, one step back, is still one step forward.
 
Hi Krup and Tracy and anyone reading. I just had to share the most amazing thing that I just did!

My six-stone Russian lodger Nina habitually ignores my requests not to buy me chocolate. As I am addicted and unable to resist, or to eat " a little bit" and put the rest away - I am impelled to gorge on it and I MUST finish every last bit of it - I have told her again and again NOT to buy me any. She just ignores me, smiles sweetly, tells me I am not fat, and buys me more.

The last time she did this was last week. I had not eaten any chocolate for 8 days (despite having about 20 bars of Slimfast Caramel in the cupboard) and she left a box of Maltesers on my desk in my absence. I literally ripped open the box and wolfed them down. Then I cursed myself, and her. The next day I had to half starve myself to "pay" for the calorie overload, and I realised that it just isn't worth it.

Next day I called her in specially and told her, long and loud and slowly, with much emphasis and pleading, that although I thank her for my present, that is enough: I no longer wish to eat chocolate, I need to lose weight for the sake of my health, etc. She reluctantly, grudgingly agreed to buy me no more chocolate.

Half an hour ago she came in an placed a whole box of my favourite Latvian chocolates in front of me. So I started telling her off, when she frowned and said they were not from her, but from her mother! Then she pouted and said her mother had bought them specially for me, knowing they are my favourite, and gone to all the trouble and expense of international postage to send them to Nina to give to me on Mother's Day (I'm not a mother!) When I said to thank her mother, but handed them back and said "You eat them for me" she started whining, repeating the plea about her mother having gone to so much trouble for me. She then put them down on my desk in front of me, smiled and flounced out.

Well, they ARE my favourite choccies in all the world. And I DID do a LOT of exercise yesterday! And I have been through such a lot of upset and worry and stress and trauma recently ... and I only had 1,000 calories yesterday. And so I ripped them open and started savouring them one by one.

Then I stopped.

I'd had five.

I logged them on MPF (as "Quality Street") and removed part of my planned dinner, to balance up the calories to 1800.

Then I had one more.

Then I suddenly jumped up and grabbed the reel of packing tape that I use for parcels of books, and wound tape round and round and round the box. Then I threw it high up on a bookshelf that I cannot possibly reach.

That's foiled her!
 
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