364 EE days until my 40th

[vegemite]

This is my third attempt at a diary. Third time's the charm, they say so that's what I'm hoping for.

I've just finished a degree and I'm getting my house organised and looking for a job so it seems a good time to get my eating under control.

I tried calorie counting and I was just hungry all the time and I've tried low carb but that didn't seem to work for me so I've come back to Slimming World because when I actually do it, it's a great way to lose weight.

I'm also getting back into the swing of things for exercise too and I'm quite sure that by the time I turn 40 next year, I will be at my target weight.

This diary is to write down my food but more importantly my thoughts because they seem to be linked to whether I have a good food day or not and hopefully writing them down will stop me trying to deal with them through food!

So, here it goes......

 

[vegemite]

Today has started well food wise. I didn't have breakfast due to a late start, being busy and still feeling a little full from yesterday but food so far:

Lunch:
Bacon, onion, mushroom & pepper omelette & spaghetti hoops and slice of multi grain bread (HE)

Tea:
Chicken, spinach & chickpea curry & rice

I'm going to stick to fruit in between meals and drink lots of water and the odd cup of tea/coffee.

I'm feeling a little hormonal today and really bummed that I'm still fat even after all my 'tries' at this. I read other people's successful diaries and I feel like what's the point, it's never going to happen for me. So, that's what I'm fighting with mentally. It gets me down, but I've just got to keep going, one meal at a time, making good choices. It's so hard.

I'm also tired of pretty much always being the fattest in any group I happen to be in. I know it's in my hands and it's going to take time but that also wears me down mentally.

 

[vegemite]

And today is Saturday. Weekends can be a little tricky. Food with the family is always organised in the same way that during the week is and alcohol is usually involved.

We have a family cooked breakfast on a Saturday and I've worked out that with hash browns and black pudding it's about 15 syns. I think I'm going to work that into my weekly allowance because it's a time that we spend together so I don't want to get funny about it.

I'm also out tonight and there will definitely be much alcohol consumed. I'm not sure about food but it's just one meal however it goes.
So, looking at one meal at a time, it's no big deal and I will get back to it.

 

[vegemite]

AAAAAAHHHHHH

Okay so that's out of my system. Why do I keep sabotaging myself?? Why do I see any small upset as a reason to eat poorly?? Why can't I choose to eat wisely when I go out??

I have a house full of healthy food so that isn't a reason. I do a menu plan so I'm organised...

I just don't get it. I've had a bad week and I'm having a bad day. On the plus side there is now no junky food in my house (!!!!) So, I'm getting back on board from now.

I have year to lose the whole lot and I have until mid January to lose some of it so I can look and feel better for wedding.

This is my line drawn. I'm not going to concentrate on weighing myself. I'm going to concentrate on eating 100% for every meal....

 

[vegemite]

Back to it today and I'm feeling good.

I've started with just fruit cause I'm feeling pretty stuffed from over eating and I've got chilli & rice tonight.

No exercise yet but I'll be back to walking the dog.

I need to get my head in the game and while I'm really wanting to lose weight I'm not sure my head is, so as I've said it's one meal at a time for me. Slowly, slowly...

 

[vegemite]

Shopping arrives tomorrow with lots of veg and fresh fruits etc. I'm looking forward to putting a menu together and getting into a 'walking the dog' routine.

I'm finding it hard to stick to the plan...*sigh* but I'm not giving up. I'm just going to keep at it until it sticks.

I do think, though, that I need to cut alcohol out for a bit because it encourages me to eat badly and discourages me to stick to plan, stick to my routine and makes me sleep badly.

Lets try this little dance again, shall we......?

 

[vegemite]

Everything in me wants to eat what I want today and just 'start tomorrow', but I'm going to crack on with it. I'm sure once I get started it will be easier to get into a food routine.

It's just been tea and coffee so far this morning because I've been 'flyladying'. I'll probably grab some boiled eggs and fruit for a late breakfast and then make lunch and tea with the bits and pieces that are in the fridge before my shopping arrives tonight.

Not feeling in the right mind set but sometimes you've got to just do it, no matter how you're feeling....

 

[vegemite]

Today started off well. Considering how much beer I drank last night and how little sleep I had!

Breakfast:
Boiled eggs & wholemeal toast (HE), banana, satsuma
Lunch:
Ham, onion, mushroom, rice
Tea:
Chinese style braised beef, savoury rice, broccoli


I've also eaten a snickers bar and some malted biscuits but I'm still sticking to my eating plan. They are just a blip on my radar.

I've still not managed to get back into walking the dog, but it's on my list.

A pretty good day all round. I'm gritting my teeth and getting on with it.

 

[paigesmum30]

I feel your pain with the beer, i'm a wine drinker and totally wrecks the next day for me :/

 

[vegemite]

paigesmum... ​it is a nightmare. I just can't get into spirits, so I'm just going to have to drink less!

 

[vegemite]

I've started off well this morning and it makes me happy..

I've already walked the dog, tidied the house and I'm currently dying my greys away. I have far too many for someone who is not even 40 yet. It's so depressing!

So, food today:

Breakfast: ham & mushroom scrambled eggs with wholemeal toast (HEX)
Lunch: stir fried rice & veg with some fish
Tea: pasta bake & salad

Last night's tea worked out really well and I'll definitely cook that again.

I love it when you wake up with a plan and feeling positive about it...

 

[vegemite]

I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 1.5lbs. It's been an up and down few weeks but I'm feeling back on it and like my head is in the game. Hurray!

I've decided to drop alcohol, crisps, junk food etc. I can't eat just one or a small amount so, like an addict, I have to for abstenance..

My will power has already been tested by my husband with spiced rum yesterday and having coffee at a friend's today that also included cookies. I managed to say no both times so that's a really good start.

So food today:
Breakfast: scrambled egg, bacon, mushrooms on toast & banana
Lunch: was at my friends so just had an apple, some ham and chicken when I got home
Tea: Sausage casserole & potatoes

 

[vegemite]

Two bad days emotionally/mentally which unfortunately means two bad days of eating. I don't understand why the two go hand in hand..you'd think that when I was feeling rubbish and out of control in one area that I'd want to control the eating...but no, it doesn't seem to work that way.

so, tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to be back on the ball, food wise and exercise..

 

[vegemite]

A couple of bad days but back on the wagon. How long does it take to just stick with it, rather than this on/off nightmare I seem to be doing to myself!!

So food:
Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs, banana, satsuma
Lunch: chicken, onions, mushrooms, peppers, egg noodles
Tea: jacket potato, beans, salad

I'm out with uni friends tonight but have checked the menu of where we are going and the best thing is a jacket potato. Boring but needs must. I'll be sticking to diet drinks as well. It's better if I steer clear of alcohol. I'm an all or nothing personality so abstenance is best for me!

I've already walked the dog and I'll be hopping on the cross trainer after lunch. Grab my motivation while I can.

I met up with two friends yesterday at different times and each has encouraged me, in different ways, to get stuck in. This weight isn't going to lose itself. I need to do it.

 

[vegemite]

Stayed on plan last night bar a shot of vodka. I'm very pleased with myself

Today is going well. I've already walked the dog and done 30 minutes on the cross trainer. I'm currently watching Revenge of the Sith...

Food:
Brunch: bacon, eggs, baked bean, mushrooms & wholemeal toast (HEX)
Snacks: banana, apple, satsumas
Tea: Chicken, onion, mushroom, mustard sauce, rice, green beans, brocolli

It's feeling good....