Hello! Hope everyone is doing well. I'm feeling sort of fed up at the moment. I've lost a lot of my energy, motivation and positive attitude about losing the weight. I'm also not really following the diet 100%. I'll stick to it in the daytime on weekdays, but most evenings I've been having a snack, like an ice cream or some chocolate or almonds. Also, when I get to the weekend, I've been letting myself go and having whatever I fancy. Yesterday I had nachos, 5 pints of lager and a McDonalds! Then this morning, I thought, well it's still the weekend, and I'm hungover, therefore why not have some toast, egg and sausage, with milky tea! This is a slippery slope... Now I will have to be super strict to be able to maintain my weight this week or lose 1lb if I'm lucky.
I had a little chat with my good friends last night about weight and my diet, and it left me with mixed feelings. It was nice to open up, but they are girls who have never had a problem controlling their weight, so I got the impression that they thought my diet is unhealthy and a "quick-fix" that won't work in the long run. I was told a story of a girl who lost a lot of weight through starving herself, who then regained it all and more. I was also given advise to spend my money on a weight loss counselor and to follow a healthy eating plan by planning my own meals and sticking to it.
I know my friends meant well, and they were just speaking from their own experience. But what I was wanting was some support and understanding, because I am struggling to stick with the plan at the moment. I need some motivation to keep going and push myself. I don't have the time or energy at the moment to find a weight loss counselor, or to devise my own healthy eating plan. I don't have the money to do both either as counselors are expensive. This diet has been working so far, it just takes a strong will to stick with it. But it is everything I think that I need from a diet. I can see a counselor weekly and get weighed, it is convenient, I don't have to plan, weigh or track anything, it is safe and healthy(except I don't think it is healthy for the bowels to have so little food going through, but I guess that's why water is important), plus it gives fast, reliable results.
I guess not everyone is going to be supportive or understand my motivation for doing such an extreme diet. But I know why I started this and I know what I want from it. I have been struggling recently, but I know I can turn it around. I need to remind myself why I'm doing this. It's not easy, eating is my default, feel-good habit, and old habits die hard. Changing won't be easy, but I really want to do it, because I know the benefits will far outweigh the difficulties. I really want to show everyone that I can reach my goal and I can keep it off. People talk about losing weight and keeping it off like it's just a decision you can make. If it were that easy, why are people overweight, when it is so looked down upon in our society? Surely if it were as easy as deciding to be slim, everyone would be slim? The fact is it's not that easy for some of us. Not everyone is that lucky that they can just think about losing weight and it happens. Some of us have to constantly battle with ourselves, with our instincts and cravings.
Well, it will be worth it in the end. I'm realising this diet isn't quite as easy and straightforward as I'd thought and it's not happening as quickly for me, as I had hoped. But, it is still working, I have lost 21lbs in 11 weeks, even with a 2 week holiday and without following it 100%, so my results are relative to the work I have put in, in the time I've been following it. I'm hoping this demotivated feeling will pass and I can get back into the diet 100%. I need to change my mindset, and make a commitment with myself, to stop allowing myself to go off-plan in the evenings and weekends. I need to give this 100% again. I know I will feel so much better for it. I'm just over 14 stone, so if I lose 5lb I'll be in the 13s, which is just 1 stone of where I was 2 years ago, before I began to pile all this weight on. I felt really good about myself then. I was still overweight, and curvy, but I felt my figure looked a lot nicer, and I was a lot more comfortable in my skin. So that is my next aim, to reach the 13s and then onto 13 stone exactly. I have to lose another 21lbs, which I can do in 10 weeks I'm sure. So in around 2 months I could be back to where I was last feeling good about my body. And 2 months can go really fast, it's no time at all really. So that is my plan. I have 5 weeks until my summer holiday to Nepal and the UK, so I want to be 190lb by then. I think that is achievable. I just have to get back on the diet wagon.
Sorry for such a long post, I needed a good ramble! Good luck to you all this week and thank you for reading!
