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A constant cycle of denial and starting over

S: 16st2lb C: 15st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 38.8 Loss: 0st7lb(3.1%)
#1
So, I'm back - having first signed up 7 years ago, so you can sense how long my weight has been bothering me. :rolleyes:

I seem to swing endlessly between denial and "starting again." I lose a stone, maybe 2 and then I give up and pile it back on.

The root of my problem is essentially that I go through obsessions with certain kinds of foods.
One month it might be ice-cream, the next month it might be pancakes, a certain kind of cookie, pasta, cheese, something I tried on a night out - whatever it is, I eat and eat that one specific thing until I can't stand the sight of it and then move on to something else. I've never read about anyone who seems to have this kind of problem with food and it's so hard to get past. Once, when I was dieting again, I just got obsessed with Weetabix and ate it every day for God knows how long.

My weight stayed fairly constant at somewhere around 15st, but now I'm too afraid to weigh myself for an accurate figure. I just know I'm a size 18, I've got at least one weight-related health condition and I've just had enough. I mean it this time!
 
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S: 16st8.5lb C: 13st8.5lb G: 12st10lb BMI: 32.7 Loss: 3st0lb(18.06%)
#2
Welcome back.

Try starting a food diary, it may help you feel accountable and give you a boost when you're having a day of not really feeling it x best of luck on your journey
 

MrsNH

New Member
S: 10st13.0lb C: 10st11.5lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 26.8 Loss: 0st1.5lb(0.98%)
#3
I have just joined today and i actually feel a bit similar to you. Ive had food obsessions for years, protein only, low carb, high carb, no sugar, no alcohol the list is endless. When im in the zone nothing can break me then i get bored and binge on all the things that ive restricted. Ive just started back on weight watchers today. Good luck with your journey
 

ladyfelsham

Clean green leafy machine
S: 24st11lb C: 19st10lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 48.9 Loss: 5st1lb(20.46%)
#4
Hi Waterfall and welcome back.

Most of us here have similar stories and can really sympathise with your post. I'm like MrsNH, I used to go through fads, constantly losing two stone, then getting bored/frustrated, putting the weight back on, then trying something else. It's all very upsetting and frustrating!

Happily, I've been doing Slimming World since last Jan (18) and by some miracle I've stuck to it - unheard of, for me! I go to a great class, which really helps, and even though I'm stuck in a loss/gain/loss cycle at the moment, I'm happy with SW because it's working for me. Five stone down so far, seven to go.

I wonder if you would benefit from a plan like WW or SW? I think the approach, of being able to eat pretty much anything (within reason), is great and might help overcome your 'focus' on a particular type of food?

Anyway all the best with whatever you decide to do, and we'll be here shouting support :).
 
S: 16st2lb C: 15st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 38.8 Loss: 0st7lb(3.1%)
#5
Hi Waterfall and welcome back.

Most of us here have similar stories and can really sympathise with your post. I'm like MrsNH, I used to go through fads, constantly losing two stone, then getting bored/frustrated, putting the weight back on, then trying something else. It's all very upsetting and frustrating!

Happily, I've been doing Slimming World since last Jan (18) and by some miracle I've stuck to it - unheard of, for me! I go to a great class, which really helps, and even though I'm stuck in a loss/gain/loss cycle at the moment, I'm happy with SW because it's working for me. Five stone down so far, seven to go.

I wonder if you would benefit from a plan like WW or SW? I think the approach, of being able to eat pretty much anything (within reason), is great and might help overcome your 'focus' on a particular type of food?

Anyway all the best with whatever you decide to do, and we'll be here shouting support :).
Thanks ladyfelsham.

I've just joined a Slimming World group in my town (we have 3), with the first meeting on 4th March and I'm terrified. Partly because I can't bear the thought of being weighed, partly because I'm worried someone might recognise me, partly because I'm scared I won't lose enough weight and they'll get annoyed with me quickly. I also worry there won't be anyone my own age (27) but I think it's a positive thing. I just need to be brave enough to go! Would you say there is a social aspect to SW? Have you made friends?
 

ladyfelsham

Clean green leafy machine
S: 24st11lb C: 19st10lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 48.9 Loss: 5st1lb(20.46%)
#6
Oh gosh Waterfall you poor love, you've really been worrying about this a lot - but let me see if I can reassure you!

What happens is this - first night, you'll join other newbies at a separate table and the consultant will sit down and take you through the basics of SW. It might seem a little confusing at first but there's lots of help and support online and at your club. Each week you'll then line up to pay, then line up to weigh in - and no one except you, the person doing the weigh ins and your consultant will know what your weight is. Then we all sit in a circle and the consultant goes through each person's experience. It's done with sensitivity, so she never mentions how much of a gain I've had for example - but it's done to see if I'm having problems and so everyone can provide suggestions to overcome them - and there are also celebrations of losses too of course. There's lots of clapping! This can seem a bit tedious at first but just see it as supporting all your lovely friends who are going through the same struggle as you, and they deserve a big round of applause.

NO ONE will get annoyed at you - for any reason. The key about SW is that it's your weight loss plan, and everyone is different - some lose quickly, some don't. A lady at my club told me she's lost 4 stone in 10 years. Yep we have long lifers there LOL - and they keep coming back because it's more of a social club than anything.

And yes I have made good friends - we have a FB group but a lot of us are also regular FB friends too, and I really look forward to going each week because I just laugh my head off :). We're a wide range of ages - from women in their 20s to two ladies in their 70s, but we've hit it off and have a great time. During the week we share pics of meals we've made, or posts when things aren't going so well, and there's always someone there to give me a virtual hug and tell me I'm doing fine.

So please don't be too apprehensive, and if I can be of any help if you're not sure about aspects of the plan, then just shout :).

You won't regret walking through the doors on 4 March!
 
S: 16st8.5lb C: 13st8.5lb G: 12st10lb BMI: 32.7 Loss: 3st0lb(18.06%)
#7
I wish there was a double like function here for lady felsham xx

I can't add anything else to her post other than this is YOUR journey. You CAN do it πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
 
S: 16st2lb C: 15st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 38.8 Loss: 0st7lb(3.1%)
#8
Thank you everyone.

I actually attended my first SW yesterday (Monday) - I was brave! Weighing at the end was awful (I'm the heaviest I've ever been and a stone more than I was a year ago) - but the people were friendly and I found a few ladies to sit with and talk to. I definitely feel that this particular group is full of long-time Slimming World people who are nearing their goal weights, but maybe some new people will come along as it goes on?

I've got a new account on MyFitnessPal, started a fitness membership and cleared my cupboards of junk. I'm at the beginning of a long, long journey but at least I know my weight, I've been hiding from it for so long.
 

ladyfelsham

Clean green leafy machine
S: 24st11lb C: 19st10lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 48.9 Loss: 5st1lb(20.46%)
#9
Well done Waterfall, walking in the door is the hardest bit! People will come and go, so there will be new faces every week - particularly with all the nice weather we're having LOL.

I know it's a shock to see the actual number on the scales but try and tell yourself "I am never going to see this figure again". Honestly, it works :).

Just stick to the basics, and try to use your syns up on things like oil and mayo for your meals, and not have too many HiFis (like I sometimes do and then wonder why I didn't lose...).

You will be great at this!
 

Bigbear

Silver Member
S: 24st6lb C: 22st4lb G: 20st0lb BMI: 46.1 Loss: 2st2lb(8.77%)
#10
Hello! Well done waterfall for getting to the first group. I’ve never been, and totally Relate to your anxieties about going. I’m sure it will be great.

I can also relate to the food obsessions - in the past I’ve tended to have one thing A LOT until I can’t stand the sight of it. For me, I need to just not let myself have any yummy food in the house and I need to meal Plan and stick to it - particularly when I’m getting in to the swing of things

Good luck!
 
S: 16st2lb C: 15st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 38.8 Loss: 0st7lb(3.1%)
#11
I'm feeling really good today. I went out for tea yesterday - Nando's(!) - got one chicken pitta with mixed salad and chargrilled veg, no mash or chips. I felt so proud of my self-restraint. Today I've had porridge, a tuna sandwich, banana, grapes, and a homemade Thai green curry... I'm aiming for about 1200-1300 cals each day so not bad at all. Motivated :cool:
 

ladyfelsham

Clean green leafy machine
S: 24st11lb C: 19st10lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 48.9 Loss: 5st1lb(20.46%)
#13
Hi Waterfall - sounds like you're doing pretty well, but I hope you don't mind some SW old timer tips from me -

1. PLEASE don't worry about counting calories on Slimming World. It's not part of the food optimising plan, and you honestly don't need to do it to lose weight on SW. Just keep reading the book and make meals with lots of veg in them, and don't avoid oils and so on - just syn them.

2. Plan your healthy As and Bs every day. It's important to have your two healthy As worth of milk/cheese/etc - but also watch you don't go over your Healthy B allowance. You're allowed one Healthy B a day, but both yesterday and today you had two (porridge/pitta/sandwich).

Now it's absolutely fine if you planned to syn one of them - but it's really important to always write down your syns, because it's easy to forget and go way over (trust me on this, I've done it many times LOL). I have something eggy for breakfast so it leaves my B allowance for after dinner when I go graze crazy.

3. Also, I don't think you're eating enough! You've got 10-15 syns a day and it is really important to use them. Honestly, you need to eat to lose. I tried eating less at first, and not having my syns, and I wasn't losing. Stepped up the syns, added lots more green leafy veg and bye bye 5 stone :).

4. Keep an eye on whether carbs affect your losses over a few weeks. I just have to look at pasta and I put weight on, so I tend to do SP (no pasta, rice, spuds, etc). Most people are fine with the carbs, lucky things, because then they can have all the yummy pasta bakes they like! :)

5. By the way, when SW says something is unlimited, they don't mean it. You can't eat a humungus bowl of pasta for every meal, or piles of SW chips, and lose weight. Just try and listen out for your brain and tummy telling you that they are full. This does take some practice, my inner voice was buried under a large wardrobe for a while - but I can hear it now :).

Hope this helps xxx
 
S: 16st2lb C: 15st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 38.8 Loss: 0st7lb(3.1%)
#14
Hi Waterfall - sounds like you're doing pretty well, but I hope you don't mind some SW old timer tips from me -

1. PLEASE don't worry about counting calories on Slimming World. It's not part of the food optimising plan, and you honestly don't need to do it to lose weight on SW. Just keep reading the book and make meals with lots of veg in them, and don't avoid oils and so on - just syn them.

2. Plan your healthy As and Bs every day. It's important to have your two healthy As worth of milk/cheese/etc - but also watch you don't go over your Healthy B allowance. You're allowed one Healthy B a day, but both yesterday and today you had two (porridge/pitta/sandwich).

Now it's absolutely fine if you planned to syn one of them - but it's really important to always write down your syns, because it's easy to forget and go way over (trust me on this, I've done it many times LOL). I have something eggy for breakfast so it leaves my B allowance for after dinner when I go graze crazy.

3. Also, I don't think you're eating enough! You've got 10-15 syns a day and it is really important to use them. Honestly, you need to eat to lose. I tried eating less at first, and not having my syns, and I wasn't losing. Stepped up the syns, added lots more green leafy veg and bye bye 5 stone :).

4. Keep an eye on whether carbs affect your losses over a few weeks. I just have to look at pasta and I put weight on, so I tend to do SP (no pasta, rice, spuds, etc). Most people are fine with the carbs, lucky things, because then they can have all the yummy pasta bakes they like! :)

5. By the way, when SW says something is unlimited, they don't mean it. You can't eat a humungus bowl of pasta for every meal, or piles of SW chips, and lose weight. Just try and listen out for your brain and tummy telling you that they are full. This does take some practice, my inner voice was buried under a large wardrobe for a while - but I can hear it now :).

Hope this helps xxx
Thanks Ladyfelsham. I don't want to any offend anyone who is really dedicated to SW and it might just be that I haven't got to grips with it yet (it might take a while!), but to some extent I trust my instinct in terms of knowing what is healthy and what I can/can't have. So, yes I had 2 Healthy B's (I had to look in my book) when I should have one, but my other foods were all healthy and I don't think I've compromised my progress.

For example, I avoid cheese because I have no self-control and I'll binge if I have it available, so I find it easier just to cut it out. Chips are similar - I can't have a few, I've got to have half a million. I think this all comes back to what I was saying about food obsessions; there are just some things I will eat for 5 years if I'm allowed to.

I like porridge - very filling - so I tend to have that most days.

I find calorie counting motivational and it helps me to be disciplined. I'm not obsessive but I am one of those people who likes using diaries and thing like MFP - and it helps me track what I've eaten. I'm also exercising (swimming) twice a week.
 

mistyangel

Full Member
S: 14st0.5lb C: 12st6.5lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 1st8lb(11.2%)
#15
Thanks Ladyfelsham. I don't want to any offend anyone who is really dedicated to SW and it might just be that I haven't got to grips with it yet (it might take a while!), but to some extent I trust my instinct in terms of knowing what is healthy and what I can/can't have. So, yes I had 2 Healthy B's (I had to look in my book) when I should have one, but my other foods were all healthy and I don't think I've compromised my progress.

For example, I avoid cheese because I have no self-control and I'll binge if I have it available, so I find it easier just to cut it out. Chips are similar - I can't have a few, I've got to have half a million. I think this all comes back to what I was saying about food obsessions; there are just some things I will eat for 5 years if I'm allowed to.

I like porridge - very filling - so I tend to have that most days.

I find calorie counting motivational and it helps me to be disciplined. I'm not obsessive but I am one of those people who likes using diaries and thing like MFP - and it helps me track what I've eaten. I'm also exercising (swimming) twice a week.
I am on SW too, I have had an up and down journey on it, this is the longest I have stuck with it, I like you weighed the heaviest I have ever been, was pretty disgusting with myself and thus put a lot of pressure on myself, when I gained or STS I would be so annoyed and then the cycle of self-sabotage would commence. I have had a few losses over the last few weeks so these have given me the boost I needed.
I would recommend to write everything down, not only can it keep you on track but also good to look back on if you have had a gain or want to replicate those meals in any given week. I have tweaked the plan to suit me, while still staying on plan. have cut out the amount of bread I'm eating (that is a big trigger for me), have one or two meat free days a week, I have also cut out the amount of pasta, potato and rice I eat but there are certain weeks I need those more so I eat them whilst staying on the plan. i barely eat fruit at all but will buy a bit here and there, my speed food is mostly veg and salads. You will find a method that suits you and as long as you are not gaining all the time just go for it. Wishing you all the luck for the next few weeks.
 

ladyfelsham

Clean green leafy machine
S: 24st11lb C: 19st10lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 48.9 Loss: 5st1lb(20.46%)
#16
Not offended in the least Waterfall, you do what you think suits you best.
 
S: 16st2lb C: 15st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 38.8 Loss: 0st7lb(3.1%)
#17
First Weigh Day today - 2lbs off! :D Would have liked a little more, but considering I had cake and wine on Saturday, I'll take it. Aiming for 3lbs next week :)
 

Bigbear

Silver Member
S: 24st6lb C: 22st4lb G: 20st0lb BMI: 46.1 Loss: 2st2lb(8.77%)
#20
Well done in the loss!!
I know what you mean - I love pancakes!!!
 


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