A failure to success - now includes motivational wall! Pg4 for pics

[custardlipstick]

Thanks Em! I do find that its easy to slip off sometimes as it just feels like normal life! Far too good to be true, but its remembering that one meal off plan doesnt mean a whole week. Im hoping to keep by my mini targets in my sig, so far so good. Make sure you write everything down and it does make a difference

Good luck to ya! Pop back here and let me know how ya get on, the forum is so busy I might miss your great success!! xx

 

[custardlipstick]

32 books down, 34 to go! To mark that is.

Decided today, that honesty really is the best policy. Being dishonest with yourself is not going to help you get anywhere you want to/need to. For example with loosing weight. Took me a few months but I have finally admitted to myself that I have put on weight and I am going to do something about it, however someone I know seems like she is trying to follow the plan, and tells everyone she is doing it 100% but from previous conversations I can tell she is not. She forgets those little things which she does syn or will not bother syning meals out for example, but continues to tell everyone she is the model of perfection. At no point in my life have I ever claimed to be the model of perfection, I think there is no such thing, and my work collegues do not know im doing SW as I know if I ever had one biscuit in front of them it would be "knew your diet wouldnt last".

To be able to be open and honest really is one of the hardest things to do, but will mean you progress much further, especially when it comes to loosing weight. My mother has brought me up to feel that I should keep things to myself but growing up watching her torment herself I decided that this can not be healthy or sensible.

I admit it - I am fat. Technically I'm obese again. But I will be skinny as I want it so badly and I'm always honest about my syns, my troubles and my opinions xx

 

[Maverick]

Well done for being honest, I've been having some similar struggles with being honest recently, altho mine haven't really been weight related, I just like to "bury my head in the sand" as my bf says. But I am working on it, and hoping it will help me in the end to achieve all the things I want from my life xx

 

[LanaLoo]

Haha sounds like your repeating my diary I prefer doing the maths side as Im a bit mad and like that side, and I think your brave for doing primary!! But good luck, training is a stressful year but you need to be organised, and doing things like soup these last few weeks has helped me LOADS as I then dont eat school meals/pasta pots which are full of syns! Teachers seem very odd about chocolate, its as if they cant cope without it!! Everying involves sugar. Let me know how you get on, and if in sept you ever need a "You can do this, you will get through this, everyone has a bad day, come on woman!! it will get better" then you know where to come xxx

Awwww thankyou thats really sweet I'll probably be here in October like "helppp meee I'm soooo fattt and I canttt teachhhh!!!:cry:" haha!

I'm going to have to try really hard to be organised with my food because I'm terrible like that! I usually just bring couscous with me and pour the hot water on!

I agree with what you said about honesty, I dont get the people that aren't honest they're only lying to themselves

Oh anddd hair looks loverrrly! I wish I could be blonde sometimes! xx

 

[alicecone]

HI
I hate mondays! they are always so depressing as you have the week ahead of you!! Went for weigh-in today and didnt do too well! only lost 1/2 pound. Was gutted tbh but hopefully next week will be better. trying not to be too disheartened!

 

[AnnaR]

I found your diary! When is your next weigh in - good luck!!! Like I said in the other thread, i'm glad i'm on maternity, as when I go back to school, I know it's going to be harder (especially with 2 kids to ship about!) _ you're doing really well and your hair looks great!

 

[custardlipstick]

Oh god I feel like crying. This is kind of nothing to do with weight loss but I needed to moan to someone and my OH would just make me feel worse - unintentionally.

As you prob guess by the title, im a teacher, and currently im teaching over an hour away from where i live so the travelling each day is starting to really kill. On top of that I have to plan lessons, mark books/hw, keep up with all the school policies and managed keep a house im really starting to feel stretched. I know im not the best teacher in the world, and i make lots of mistakes but i had my mentor who is lovely but picky come into my lesson and point out about 5 things going on that were wrong. Nothing major but things like uniform and the fact one lad shouted out very rudely etc. Now last year I would have had all this dealt with before the lesson started and if someone walked in they wouldnt be spotting those problems. I feel like ive took 100 hundred steps backwards. I know that obviously my timetable has upped loads so I dont have time to concentrate on having brilliant lessons every day but I should be getting the little things right!! Just made me wonder what the hell im doing as im being pulled from all directions at the moment and its not going to be long before I pop!

Im having 3rd week blues with SW aswell, was going to post yesterday but fell asleep instead! (not sleeping well) but ive just had far to much chocolate, monday was rubbish - had some chocolate within my syns but then tuesday I was pushed to my limit and had a mini breakdown. I ended up with no lunch due to time not choice and so had donuts and sweets on the way home! This isnt normal, I am not normally like this, what is wrong with me?! I know that tomorrow I am going to maintain and thats if im really really lucky!! I know I should not turn to chocolate and crap everytime some kid tries my patience but it does for that moment in time make me feel better. My classes arent even THAT bad... Will someone please just slap me and tell me to get on with it? Ive got till july to put up with it and my first observation next friday and im scared. Why did I choose something so hard???? On a normal day I love teaching, just dont have many normal days at the moment...

 

[alicecone]

I know exactly how you feel! Some days I feel like the worst teacher in the world!! I travel for half an hour to schooland the travelling does definitely wear you down! I'm sure tomorrow things will feel different (or after a big sleep!) It is such a tiring profession and is so pressured. You need to make sure you are not too hard on yourself as it will make you feel worse and eat more.

Don't worry about the eating, you're under a lot of pressure and we all slip up sometimes. You have done so well so far, so be proud of how well you have done.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect coz its never gonna happen and you are always gonna have horrible kids!!

Alice

 

[lennis]

Hang in there, alicecone is right if you put too much pressure on yourself trying to be the perfect teacher you are going to just wear yourself out. You will do the best that you can for yourself and your kids, and if people can't see that they are just being dense. We are all human and sometimes I think those who are supposed to be mentoring and helping you find your feet forget that.

Can your OH help you a bit with the house? I'm sure he knows you have a long commute and are getting more stressed at the moment with work.

I don't know if this will help but the following helps me sleep.

If you have the time about 1.5 - 1 hrs before you are due to go to bed run yourself a nice hot bath. Don't wash your hair, don't read, do nothing you are trying to stop your mind racing. Put in a nice bath oil, something that helps you to relax, I personally like lavender and Eucalyptus, listen to some soothing music. Get your OH to rub your feet while you soak that really helps, or just after you get out.

When you feel relaxed enoughed, get straight into bed try not to use any main lights use low lighting when wandering around your room. You don't want to get "light shocked" out of your relaxed state. I find I usually drop off within 30mins after doing this.

I can't guarantee it would work for you, but it sounds like you really need to try and relax a bit. Teaching is very stressful.

 

[custardlipstick]

Im back!!

Sorry for not replying to the above posts, I was at a very low point then. And over 3 weeks managed to put on the 7lbs I lost! Im not proud but there is no point lying about it. It has took alot of soul searching and tears but I now feel like im on the right path! I have a friend from fb who has lost 4 stone, and kept it off nearly a year. She had a propper talk with me about how I feel, and she pointed out that I cant do anything about how I feel now, but I can change how I feel in the future and how heavy I am!!!

So my friend is getting married in sept, I am completely jealous and dont get me started on this topic or you will stop liking me Im not a *****! Just... ive been waiting two years to book a venue and shes getting married and she hasnt even been with her partner a year yet!! Shes not really a friend... her OH is my OH's mate so its ok for me to be a total bridezilla!!! So this may sound horrid but what I decided was that I was going to turn up looking as gorgeous as I can! Shes a larger lady herself, and its completely just for me however its something to aim for. Make sence? Sorry if it doesnt!

So I decided to made an inspiration wall and wanted to share. Im hoping that with the pictures of me at target it will show me where I can be. And as you may be able to see ive already got one pound crossed out (lost that last night!!! completely unexceptidly wooooo)

Date of the wedding, my partner looking slimmer, THE dress I want to wear, and pic of me at skinniest on 21st with OH.

Thinsipration!! Me looking skinny.

My new "rules" to try and follow.

I have also decided that im going to stick a tenner in the car for emergencies but leave my cards at home so then I cant by absolute crap. This may seem extreme but at the minute this is what I need to do.

Hope everyone is ok and doing well with their losses. I promise to keep you updated now, and fingers crossed itll be flying off

 

[lurverick]

good to see you back on here!
good luck with getting back on it,you certainly have your focus,looks fab!!!

you can do it - you know you can do it!!!
i have the mag you are on the cover of an its a real inspiration to me 'knowing' you on fb and here....even with how honest you have been,in fact especially with how honest you've been.

 

[custardlipstick]

Hey Luverick, thanks for the supportive words! I think I fell out of love with SW, even though in my heart it was still there. Became a love/hate thing! Although I now have the motivation to goooooo for it! Full steam ahead

Do I have you on fb? I do not know who you are sorry! Just because of the user name lol but I have been getting annoyed recently with the fact some people will pretend they have been being perfect and secretly eating rubbish and putting on which Ive seen on fb. I have to be honest with myself as its the only way to succeed! Lying to others shows you are lying to yourself. Not the way I wana be

Yourll have to let me know who you are

 

[custardlipstick]

Using my detective powers, I think I know who you are You are an inspiration yourself!! Done absolutely brilliantly xx

 

[AnnaR]

Aw you're back - well done! That wall looks ace!!! I had a gain last week (my first and only a lb) but i was gutted and i'm so determined!!! I want to be slimmer when I'm back in school in Sept!!
May steal your wall idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx

 

[custardlipstick]

Hiya folks! Realise I havent been around here for ages but been really busy... dont worry though! Im now slimmer than I was this time last year good start! (see ticker underneither).

I have found what really helps though is my facebook page I have started, I post pics of teas daily along with food diaries and find that easier than on here as there is SO much going on I get distracted! If you fancy seeing how I get on feel free to add me and you have my full permission to share/tag yourself in my photos xx

Gonnabe Slimmer OR
http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100002206716739