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a good old moan

i need to let some steam out.

yes i lost 2.3stones - very proud of it i must admit. however, today i got soooo depressed and frustrated that i almost went to pig out at burger king, etc. a BIG binge.

i went to h&m coz i. need some new clothes - i need some work tops coz my shirts (and pants ie.bozo) are getting too big. now, the thing is..my size is varying from 16-20. i can get into a pair of 16 jeans, a 20 pair of work pants are baggy (hence bozoo the clown) as ever but then the 18 are not that comfy. as i was saying i went to h&m and got some nice shirts to try on (us16 which is like 18 or 20 uk) and it fit OK except from my boobs. (u know when you have buttons and you can see ur bra through it). anyways i am soo sad about this. dont ask me why. it's just frustrating that im losing weight but it seems as if im stuck in a size zone with no specific sizing. i dont know if im making myself clear.

then i went on to try madonna's new range. i didnt even dare try on the pants coz i know that they won't even get up from my ankles. tried a cashmere cardingal (large - biggest size) and it looked more like a small on me.

pretty down about this all to be honest.

sorry for moaning..i needed to write this down.

honestly at this minute im finding LL torture and useless and im fed up of all the packs etc. everything is getting on my nerves now. even water is making me gag.
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Hi Jenna- chin up sweetie! You are doing so well and I note you wrote-'almost' a binge- so you didn't do it despite being tempted! Would the old you have resisted temptation? You are strong, probably stronger than you will admit to yourself.

As for clothes shops- well flippin heck, sizes are all a mystery in every shop. At the mo I am a size 18 bottom in some shops and struggling to get into 20 in others. As for tops, well can be anything from 18 to 22! But I do know I have more choice now than ever before- have dared myself to go into Monsoon looking for clothes for the first time in my life once I hit the 2 stone lost mark. As for better value outlets- do you have a TK Maxx- their sizes are bonkers but if you are patient you can often get some cracking clothes in there.

Anyway, hope you got your moan out of your system and feel better for it!
hi hippo...

this size thing is driving me up the wall. the other day i bought a size 16 top from asos and i think i cd have fitted into a 14 (as it was baggy) but it's just driving me up the wall.

i sooo long to be one size and stick with it (if that's possible).

and yes, the old me would have given in...

still down about all of this...im not longing to eat junk i just want a nice plate of healthy food and its just frustrating..thanks hipp
Hi again Jenna- its doesn't seem fair does it- you put in all this work and then you can't find the gorgeous outfit you imagined, or you keep having to try different sizes because you have no confidence of what size you might be- meanwhile all those skinny girls walk in pick up a size 10 (or less) and look instantly fab.

I understand your frustration, but perhaps you are being a bit impatient with yourself? Look at your brilliant weight loss- yes you have got a bit to go, as have I, and on days like today it can seem impossible. I try to manage frustrations by not seeking them out- for example, I love to look at and but clothes, but I now only allow myself to do that once a week- the day after my weigh-in and if I see a bargain I will get it- but I won't buy something at full price (unless its really cheap) because I know my size will change. It helps me a bit anyway. Another thing to try is to put on some of your old clothes and have a chuckle as your trousers drop to your ankles or skin tight tops suddenyl resemble maternity wear!

Sorry about the long ramble- its helping me because suddenly tonight (nearly at end of wk 6) I am starving hungry and craving all sorts of foods!

Don't ketclothes frustrate you dear Jenna- soon you will be proud to be naked more often I'm sure;)
hi again hipp...dont worry about the length of the message! love reading posts here.

oh yes size 10 or less gals DO indeed look just perfect and i often wonder to msyelf if i can ever be slim (as i never was slim in my life). finding that part a bit hard to believe. at the moment i just utterly hate myself. from head to toe from outside and inside. im in depressed-mode just feel like giving up on everything...but anyways..tomorrow's another day
The problem with this diet is that we loose weight so quickly that I think our brains become impatient &want more!! Take "a step back" & see what you've lost so far! A bmi drop of 7 is fab (sorry am useless with kilos!) and something to be proud of, as is the fact that you resisted the food & carried on so give yoursef a pat on the back! Can you plan in some treats & activities for moments like that (like coming on here for a rant!) ...just hang in there. You WILL be slim & it WILL be worth it but it WILL take time! As for H&M sizes - they are notoriously TINY - you have to be anorexic to walk through the door - sometimes I wonder of they give special "glare at fat people" training to staff so that us weebles dont have the courage to contaminate their shops by our mere presence so hang on to the fact that one day you WILL be able to go in, without feeling crap & choose anything in whichever weird size they think you are! Big hugs!
thanks all for your support.

im still feeling a bit down to be honest. im not quite seeing sense at the moment. i think my head IS playing up with me. i still see the old me even though everyone is gobsmacked at how much weight i lost but obviously i don't see that especially these last 2 days.

maybe ill get there soon

j xxx
Can you do something to get out of the rut? Do you have before & after photos and measurements that you can compare? Maybe of you saw the inch loss on the tape measure it would help with the demons? Alternativey just tell them to f*** off!! Really hope you feel more like you soon...meanwhile big hugs & hang in there!
S: 14st4lb C: 13st1.5lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 35.8 Loss: 1st2.5lb(8.25%)
A long time ago actually I said 'to hell with the label!!!'

If something fits well what does it matter what number the label said?

As for size 10 ladies picking stuff up and it fitting, it may seem true but it isn't! They may have had to try on anything from an 8 to a 12 as well.

The fact is, clothes sizing IS rubbish regardless of what size you are. I'm basically down to a 12, but sometimes 14's are tight, i don't care if it fits I'll wear it!

Supposing we end up with a bmi of 22 and a size 10? who cares if we need a size 12 in one shop? or even a 14? its only a number and has no effect on how a garment looks when we put it on. Why deny yourself a stunning top in a size 20 because you refuse to admit thats the size you needed?

Cut the tags off if it bothers you!

Having said that I desperately need to go shopping but I don't want to go until I kick the weight thats left. I am a rubbish shopper, not because of sizes but because I can never decide what I want......

A long time ago actually I said 'to hell with the label!!!'

That's a good motto Mags and one I think I'd like to get into my head. I was thinking the other day that while I'm only shopping in Evans I can tell as sizes go down but there's nothing to say that when (please soon) I hit an 18 in Evans there's nothing to say I won't be a 16 - 22 in Next .... so here's to 'to hell with the label!!!' :)

Hi Jenna,

I can completely sympathise with you! I've avoided clothes shopping as I've put weight on and found it hard to acknlwledge my size. However, dropping weight at this rate has meant that I've had to go shopping today. But, I knew it would annoy me, and it did. In one shop I tried on three different styles of jean in a size 16. This is what happened:
1) Far too big
2) Too snug, may be ok in a couple of weeks
3) Could barely get them past my knees

This was the same shop! To be honest, I just thought to myself that if even the same shop can't get 3 sizes the same then I am damned if that's going to make me feel bad! It's their problem and bad customer service! Oh and last week I went out in a size 14 top and the next night I could barely get into a size 20. Ridiculous. Would rather measure myself on the scales, by inches or by photographs.

Hope you are feeling better,

Maxie xxx
hi girls,

thanks so much for your replies (what am i going to do without yous?). anyways im kind of feeling better. i looked at myself in the mirror today and my eyes CAN see that i lost tons of weight..but my brain quickly goes into negative mode and then i still see the old me again and make a check list of all the negative aspects of my body.

oh well....hanging in there. been eating all damn day (packs of course) and i feel like a pig. oink. ;-)

thanks again to you wonderful inspirational girlies..it#s good to know that im not the only one with worries and nagging in my this thick head of mine!
S: 14st4lb C: 13st1.5lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 35.8 Loss: 1st2.5lb(8.25%)
You are actually quite lucky you can see it when you look in the mirror, lots of us, myself included found it difficult to see even when others insisted the change was obvious!

I only really saw it recently, my hubby took a pic on his camera of me and our daughter in a park, it wasn't a good picture and probably you couldn't tell it was me. Somehow I saw a 'normal' sized person in the picture, maybe my brain acknowledged it because it didn't look like me, I don't know but that was really the first time I could actually see it.

Glad you are feeling better anyway, and don't let the mirror get you down either.... wherever possible concentrate on the good bits!



S: 13st9lb C: 11st5lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 26.5 Loss: 2st4lb(16.75%)
Don't get me started on sizes!!!:mad::mad::mad: I feel like some kind of weirdo wearing a 14/16 top to make it close and size 10/12 trousers.

One thing I have noticed is that when I was bigger....I would tell myself I don't look that bad when looking in the mirror but now that I am smaller I am forever picking myself to pieces with all the negative things I can find about my body!! It's a totally twisted way of thinking and the clothes just compound it! Clothes shopping is just depressing.....especially for trousers. My legs never seem to look good. BAH!!

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