A newbie in need of a lift please Minimins...

[amed1982]

Hey everyone -

I'm really glad to have found this forum after starting (or rather, re-starting) slimming world a couple of weeks ago.

Sorry to be starting things off this way, but I'm heartened by all the warm and lovely posts from so many of you and I felt that I could just pour my heart out a bit, as it were.

My husband and I have started slimming world as his weight has increased quite a bit since we got married nearly 20 months ago (I'm the chief cook, so guess how bad I felt?!) My weight had been stable (i.e - not putting on weight but still being overweight) but I knew that I wanted to loose some. His boss and a couple of our friends have been doing SW for a while and my hubby chatted to me one evening to suggest that we start it too. I do totally admire his willingness to take a problem in hand and challenge it!

The thing is, we're working on books that I had from 2007 which are still totally fine, I've learned about Extra-easy from my friends and on paper, we have what we need to achieve our goals. But, I am REALLY missing the group support that I got from meetings the last time. We have a few challenging circumstances (like everyone) regarding our monthly budget and going to a meeting just isn't a possibility right now unfortunately. Tonight I admitted that I'd had a bit of a bad day syn-wise and my dear hubby really doesn't get how I can struggle with my eating. He said that if he could do it then surely I could do it. I know he was trying to encourage me, but in the end he said "this is your problem to sort out, not mine". I feel like I'm giving my all in supporting him, I put in so much energy to make sure that he eats good because I feel that as he has to bring home the bacon (I'm not able to work just now and not getting any benefits yet), he deserves to get the best of what we bring in. We are finding the plan is making our food bills rise, and I'm really concerned about it all. I feel torn between eating the proper SW way, and being budget conscious by eating ehat we had in the house before we started. Any of this sounding familiar?! At the moment I feel too stupid to say any of this to him - that's the daftest thing of all!
:sigh:

So, forgive my essay above. It feels good to have got it out. I'd be really glad of positive vibes, hints and tips from anyone.

But most of all, thanks for listening

 

[Lonestitcher]

Welcome!!!! Feel free to rant away!!!!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

Now, of all the advice that can be given from what you have said, these are the most important;

1. Men can sometimes come across as unsympathetic and say the most thoughtless things (even though they love us) but they will never understand the problem women face with emotional and hormonally related eating. Men eat if they are hungry or bored. Women eat if they are happy, sad, upset, angry etc. A handy phrase that I found was 'If hunger is not the problem, food is not the answer'. Ask yourself why you are eating... sometimes it's ok to say 'I can't cope' or 'I need a hug' rather than finding comfort or support in food.

2. Although he is the main breadwinner, you are BOTH worthy of 'the best' of what you buy. Without your love and support, he wouldn't be the man he is, able to do the job he does or love you the way he does.

3. Have a look and see where in your food bill you are spending the most money. If you are spending lots on veg, check out the Super Six at Aldi and also check the prices of tinned or frozen veg. If you are spending a lot on meat, try bulking meals out with more veg. When veg is on offer, I make veg curries, veg and tomato sauce or I try and make some different veg soups and then freeze them. I can then use the soups as a starter (to make sure I get in my superfree). If I have some leftovers from an evening meal I freeze them (even if it is only one portion) and have introduced a monthly 'Tapas Night'. - This involves lots of small dishes of defrosted meals (sometimes not even one portions worth) and a big bowl of rice. Homemade taster nights!!!

If we have a small amount of beef or chicken left over (say, enough for one person), I chop it up, add an onion, some frozen peppers and add to a packet of batchelors savoury rice (either beef or chinese chicken). Make up the rice using stock (made using a couple of oxo cubes) and bulk out with half a cup of cooked plain rice.

Sorry for the return essay(!) but I hope that some of it helps.


Keep going. Ask for advice. Listen to everyone... and then make up your own mind.

 

[amed1982]

Lonestitch - what a bobby dazzler you are! Your reply, the perfect of combination support, advice and practical tips, was JUST the help up I needed.

Thank you :-D

I LOVE the tapas night idea!

 

[Deathworm]

Men do seem to find it easier for some reason. But I remember reading somewhere about one who boasted how easy it was and could not understand how hard it was for women (I think the person mentioning it worked with him). She pointed out that his wife packed a lunch for him and also his femail secretary made sure he kept to the straight and narrow. Also he was not around food all that much unlike his wife!

I have only just joined again because of finances and did manage to pay for 12 weeks upfront as it was the only way I could do it. You will find lots of good advice on these threads and some great recipes too. Just try not to have anything naughty in the house as you WILL eat it! I had a good loss this week - due to no money! I only had stuff I could eat left! Don't beat yourself up about it. We all struggle.

 

[amed1982]

Hello Deathworm - thanks for your post. That office dude clearly had good women around him! And I like to think that my hubby is blessed in that way too

At the end of the week, I feel more relaxed and upbeat about things. I have had a few naughty but nice moments which I know will be telling when I weigh myself tomorrow, but I'm resolved to be nice to myself and reinforcing the positive things which I hear.

Thanks so much you two!