Step 1 Sole Source Abi's weight loss diary!

Discussion in 'CD Weight Loss Diaries' started by Babikins, 22 May 2014.

  1. Babikins

    Babikins Active Member

    Where to start..! Well firstly, my name is Abi. Hello! :wave_cry:

    I am 25 years old, I live in Belfast (but I'm not from here!) I am 5'3 tall and I weight just under 17st. The last part of that was really difficult to write. Because I have serious issues with talking about my weight and actually admitting to anyone else my real weight is a huge thing to me. So thank you for reading this far and letting me get it off my chest!

    When I was 17 I lost 7st and went from 19st to 12st in around 7 months. This was on a self imposed VLCD and over exercising.

    I managed to keep the weight off until I was about 22, at which point it all started creeping back on. Until last Friday (my 25th birthday) when I suddenly realised "Holy crap, nothing fits me anymore, I'm a size 20, when did that happen?!" I was on holiday for my birthday and it was pretty much ruined by my not-so-little revelation. Thing is, the cabin we were staying in had a full length mirror something I don't have at home! Seeing myself nude infront of it for the first time and realising just how big I was, well, it was a huge blow.

    It's so silly, most people realise they are getting bigger as it happens and yet I genuinely didn't. I was so oblivious that it truly was a lightbulb moment.

    After spending the weekend in the foulest of moods and flitting between sleeping and crying (great birthday weekend lol!) we arrived home Monday and I spent the day going through my options. I couldn't face losing the weight like I did last time, it almost killed me. I was obsessed, exhausted and miserable.

    And although I am very upset with myself for getting this big again, I love myself and respect, something I didn't have when I was 17.

    However! I am the sort of girl who goes full pelt and needs those good, reliable and quick results. So after muchos research, Cambridge diet won out!

    Tuesday morning I found my local consultant and by lunchtime I had met her, spent an hour talking and chosen all my items for the week ahead! Although, when she weighed me I was stunned. I mean, I knew I was big, I thought maybe 15st tops, but 17? I was no where near expecting it.

    So, now onto day three of my CWP and I must say I feel pretty good! Tired, a weird taste in my mouth and a little grumpy, but not hungry! And most of all, VERY hopeful!

    I owe it to myself to be healthy once and for all, so I hope you guys and girls don't mind me posting my story here as it unfolds. I want something to look back on when I reach my goal to remind me of the hard work, so hopefully, I never mess it up again!

    Here's me so you can put a face to the name! I have taken full length before pics that I will be posting after one month of loss, then every month of progress there after. Thanks for reading! x

  2. tor137

    tor137 Well-Known Member

    Hi abi ?
    I'm tor , I'm 25 also and currently in the 17s was nearly in the 19s 3 weeks ago ? could not believe it !!
    I know what u mean about not realising your that big , I lost 5stone a few years ago then fell pregnant and went back to eating crap all the time so the weight gradually went on , but 3 weeks ago I was heavier than I was at 9 month pregnant my boy is now 2 have to do something about it
    I looked on the mirror 1 day and fort omg ur massive !! Need to do something so here I am
    We can do it , got to believe in ourselves
    Skinni Minnie's here we come wahooo
    Good luck with ur 1st weigh in xx
  3. evi1ang3l

    evi1ang3l Well-Known Member

    Hi Abi loving how very honest u were in your diary i know what u mean about it creeping back on u im 35 and weighed it and the heaviest i have ever been and it makes me feel disgusted i let myself get that big. i know that will be the last time i ever see that weight again though thats for sure.
    I'm also on day 3 this is my 3rd and final attempt at this diet and i have a headache from hell but i have a holiday in 12 weeks and set myself mini goal of 3st plus I'm getting married next year and have already bought my dress in a size 14 its my get into dress.

    Good luck with your journey x will keep an eye on u see how u r doing from week to week
  4. AuburnAshes

    AuburnAshes Well-Known Member

    Good luck with the diet (also, wow, you're so pretty!). I hate looking at myself in the mirror and can't bear photos of myself. If I can't see myself, I don't have to admit to myself how fat I am. :eek:

    It would be nice not to have to run away screaming if anyone gets a camera out.
  5. Babikins

    Babikins Active Member

    Aw hello ladies!!! *waves!*

    Thanks so much for the replies and support, it makes such a big difference knowing their are people out there with the same struggle as yourself! I don't feel half as lonely :)

    Tor: Almost 2st in 3 weeks? Thats amazing! Well done!

    Evi: Thank you so much for sharing your story too, I just know you will be rocking that size 14 on your wedding day! But don't be disgusted because you aren't disgusting, we all just messed up! Lost weight and piled it back on without even noticing, we are guilty of stupidity, but we are all beautiful (it sounds so contrite but I believe it!!)

    Auburn: Snap! If I don't have to admit it, it feels easier! But when I stripped off and took my starting weight pictures it was such a shock. I took maybe an hour looking at them and feeling anger and disappointment with myself. But a few days later and I think it is really what is spurring me on. A few times I've caught myself thinking about food, then gone and had a look at those pictures.... Suddenly not so hungry! I'm not angry with myself anymore though, I've accepted my mistake and now I'm fixing it xx
  6. tor137

    tor137 Well-Known Member

    Well it's 20 lbs in 3 weeks mega chuffed thow !!
    Iv got a fat phot of me as my screen saver on my phone that helps me because I'm always on it I'm always reminded how discussing I look lmao
  7. evi1ang3l

    evi1ang3l Well-Known Member

    Wow 20lb in three weeks is bloody fab well done x u r smashing your way through 1 stone a month Losses well done hope I do as good as u I have a LOT to lose
  8. Babikins

    Babikins Active Member

    Ok, day 4! No cheating or in fact any desire too, I think something has finally clicked in my mind and determination has really set it. I have only felt this way once before and I lost 7st then, so I am hopeful!

    I realised last night I don't own a pair of bathroom scales, I see now this was probably denial coupled with lack of interest. So I am out this afternoon to buy a set. I was more than happy to just have my weekly weigh in when I saw my consultant on Tuesday, but now I am thinking that the ability to have a daily reminder of why I am doing this will be a real boost and keep me on track for success.

    I cannot mess this up, I refuse to. I am going to take full advantage of anything I think might help!

    Also downloaded the water tracker app this morning, it's fab! Little notifications beep each hour to remind you to drink, then you tick-off the little water cups as you go, very handy!

  9. AuburnAshes

    AuburnAshes Well-Known Member

    They should do wine-flavoured granules. I'd have no trouble with the water consumption then. :party0036:
  10. AuburnAshes

    AuburnAshes Well-Known Member

    Oh, and well done, obviously.

    Excuse my manners, I was briefly distracted by the thought of wine!
  11. Babikins

    Babikins Active Member

    Hahaha, oh my, wine! Mmmm, now that's something I do miss!

    Yesterday was a hard one. I had only had about 3 hours sleep the night before and had to go into the city yesterday afternoon. Cue almost fainting and having a freak out. I was running round at 100mph rushing to get things done and that coupled with little sleep and only one shake... It was bad! Also felt sort of drunk, it was really strange. As in, not totally with it? Can totally see why they say to take it easy/no exercise in the first two weeks.

    Been quite tired again so far today, I was hoping it would have eased up a bit now and I would have this euphoric ketosis feeling with lots of energy, no such luck!

    But talking of ketosis, I'm in it, finally! Yesterday whilst I was out I picked up ketostix (curiosity more than anything else) and when I got home after my little drama I decided to try one. I wasn't in ketosis, so that was a disappointment. But this morning it's showing up as the 0.8 medium colour so well into it now, exciting! I hope by tomorrow my body is used to it and I can please have some extra energy. Doesn't help that I have started this during TOTM, *facepalm* brains of Britain over here.

    Other than being a bit tired I'm really enjoying it so far. I think the main plus point for me is that my brain has fiiiiinally clicked into dieting mode, thats a huge thing for me. Usually my emotions and thought process over food let me down and I stumble very early into diets. I even have my weight management programme in place for when I finally reach goal. I'm never going back to being fat, never ever ever again!

    I have opted for a 50/50 mix between raw vegan and lean meats/low carb as my management strategy. (Ok, I know it's a bit nuts planning so far ahead but I need that focus and support there for when I finish or it WILL just pile back on). Naturally I veer towards vegan/vege options, I find raw and vegan food oddly delicious! Much to the disgust of most people lol. Having said that I also love complex carbs like brown rice and cereals as well as the odd bit of grilled chicken/steak. So rather than deny myself the meat side I will balance it out with plenty of salads, veggies and small amounts of complex carbs. THIS thought of healthy and wholesome living after the weight loss is what is really making me feel good about the whole thing.

    As I type this I am realising how sodding cold I am! Im wearing a onesie, a knitted cardi, a throw and a big cushion on my lap and I'm still not toasty.

    A few questions for you guys and girls:

    Did any of you have the almost fainting this early on?

    Did it take this long to get into ketosis?

    Has anyone taken longer than 4-5 days to get the extra energy thing? I ask because most people say "Well I woke up on day 4 feeling amazing!" And I'm over here looking like death and dreaming of my bed and it's only midday ha!

  12. Babikins

    Babikins Active Member

    Also... TMI, men folk might want to look away...

    Ladies, is your cycle disrupted? I usually have 4 days of bleeding with a medium flow but now I'm on day 7 of bleeding but it's lighter. I read in the forum someone mentioning that being in ketosis does something to oestrogens and proteins resulting in longer bleeding but I can't find the thread she was talking about at all on here. Thank you in advance! x
  13. evi1ang3l

    evi1ang3l Well-Known Member

    Hi abi im on day 5 and don't have any bursts of energy but had no headaches for last 2 days so hoping I'm in ketosis :) i don't have totm although i do retain water still as if i did due to being on the pill so sorry cant answer that one for you. I feel the same this time round about the diet i have just been my sisters and normally i would have sweets and stuff and instead i had a big litre bottle of water so happy about that i haven't told them all this time I'm back on it as i don't want to see the "oh here we go again look" so will wait to see when they notice my weight loss only really see them at weekends so not like they will see me every day not eating.
    Keep going i know what u mean about the cold thing first week on this diet i always feel freezing no matter what a nice warm bath will help x :)
  14. Babikins

    Babikins Active Member

    Well done Evi, that's fab, real willpower resisting all the sweets and so on!

    They will be in for a shock when you really start to drop the weight, I can't wait for people to notice too :)

    I'm SO cold, lol! I'm desperately trying to hold on to the cat for heat but she's having non of it ha x
  15. evi1ang3l

    evi1ang3l Well-Known Member

    I have just filled my hot water bottle too im feckin freezing
  16. Babikins

    Babikins Active Member

    Feeling much better today, day 5!

    I think the key to getting in ketosis is realising that your body is going to feel utterly shocking for the first 3-5 days. I wasn't prepared for that so it took me unawares. OK to some degree I knew you could have headaches and be a bit tired but I thought "Pfft I'm young and healthy, I won't even notice".... NO! Ha, how wrong was I?!

    To get through it, you almost have to give into it. Take some time off and look after yourself. Have early nights, have lie ins, don't push yourself like normal. Because that's what I did for most of getting into ketosis and it was horrid. You really appreciate taking care of yourself a little better at times like this.

    So far I haven't wanted any particular foods, my mind is pretty focused on being the person I am meant to be. And that person isn't 7st over weight. If I think that I have 79 days left until I can have small meals for a week (before going back to 12 more weeks SS to shift the second half) then that's a bit daunting.

    The thing I am finding hardest at the moment is that my husband is obviously cooking and eating still, so meal times when I can smell what he is cooking can be a bit torturous. But I am dedicated to 100% SS until my curvy arse finally fits into a size 10!

    Today I feel like I have much better energy levels so we are going to head out to Belfast maritime festival. I feel like I need some fresh air and a little walk, but totally aware of the fact that I might feel light headed or tired, which puts me at ease now I accept it.

    How are you lovely folks spending your weekend?
  17. evi1ang3l

    evi1ang3l Well-Known Member

    Hi abi glad to see u feeling better im still cold on say 6 but think that stays for a while if i remember from last time, i am going on my hols 12 weeks today exactly so will do SS till then then have 2 weeks off and then back on it till I'm done and dusted although i know i have a long weigh to go i know this time i can stick it :) have a happy sunday x
  18. Babikins

    Babikins Active Member

    Day 6!

    I can hardly wait for my weigh in tomorrow, it's been up and down but over all I am feeling good and really proud that I have gone 100% for this first week. It's always the first week you dread on a diet isn't it? So I am confident I can see it through for the full 12 weeks. :)
  19. AuburnAshes

    AuburnAshes Well-Known Member

    Well done - I'll keep everything crossed for tomorrow for you.
  20. Babikins

    Babikins Active Member

    Thank you sweety! How are you doing? x

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