About to quit - would appreciate your thoughts...

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by dancing-in-the-rain, 8 September 2009 Social URL.

  1. dancing-in-the-rain

    dancing-in-the-rain Full Member

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    Hello you dedicated people! I've done two days on LL (a restart, have done it twice before, most I lost is 2 stone) and want to give up. But can't make up my mind what the best course of action is, so I wrote a list of pros and cons. I'm not really looking for anyone to tell me what to do - I know only I can decide that, I know, but I also know that to succeed you have to be 100% dedicated, and I'm not, which is making the voices in my head unbearable. It's not even that I've found it hard the last 2 days, I haven't (other than in my head). I haven't been hungry at all so in theory it should be easy. So why isn't it?

    Here's my list:

    I want to stay on LL because:~

    - I want fast weight loss
    - I want to sort out my food demons
    - I want to save time and avoid the hassle of cooking / heavy exercise etc.
    - I don’t want to come off just to yo-yo some more and then have to try again
    - Even just a month on LL will mean about one and a half stone gone! And I’ll be in the 11’s…

    I want to pursue a food based diet because:~

    - It affects my concentration and energy levels for at least 4 weeks (furthest in I‘ve got), and I need to be at my peak as I start Uni
    - I want a social life
    - I hate telling people about LL and will be very visible in the staffroom at lunchtimes with lots of people I don’t know
    - I’m not actually convinced LL will sort out my food issues, I think I’m the only one who can do that…
    - a loss of 2lbs a week will see me to a normal BMI by Christmas…
    - I miss running
    - I’m still absolutely convinced I can do it myself with healthy eating, even though 17 years of yo-yo dieting tell me otherwise (what’s that about?!)

    There’s probably more but I think the bottom point is key…a lot for me to think about. I think for me to succeed on LL I have to be 100% committed, and I’m obviously not. I wonder how I can become 100% committed?

    Your comments would be welcomed...
     
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  3. snowmum

    snowmum Full Member

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    dont xx
     
  4. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    I think you are trying to talk yourself out of it.
     
  5. Jezebella

    Jezebella Playing the Angel

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    I agree with SB on this one. Good luck whatever you decide.

    Jez
    xx
     
  6. LaydeeBug

    LaydeeBug Full Member

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    That's a shame to hear DITR.

    But, I agree, you have to be 100% committed to abstain from food.
    How about trying to get through day by day rather than thinking too far ahead for now?

    I have just finished 1 week, and already I have noticed my upper tummy has shrunk, making me feel more comfortable and proud of my efforts.

    I lost 9.2 today and that has spurred me on for week 2.

    I know it will not be easy, and it's hard to justify not eating or drinking when everyone around you seems to eat/drink whatever they like.
    But everyone has battles, weight or otherwise.

    It has to be what you want. But, will you really be able to get through on your own if you haven't before?

    Have a good think...and good luck whatever you decide. xx :)
     
  7. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

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    You seem to have a lot more arguments there for doing a food based diet, sounds like thats where your heart lies.

    Good luck whatever you decide :)
     
  8. dancing-in-the-rain

    dancing-in-the-rain Full Member

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    Thank you for your feedback. I can't sleep tonight. Hungry and too much on my mind. I think I trap myself in a corner with all this - make me feel like I HAVE to do LL rather than its a choice, and then I look for the exit (like any rebellious child...) and, as slenda and Jezabella say, talk myself out of it.

    I'm glad I understand a bit more where its coming from, but still not sure where that leaves me re continuing. Am seeing LLC tomorrow and will discuss it with her.

    Thanks again. Must try and get some sleep now...my DDs will be up at six...
     
  9. LaydeeBug

    LaydeeBug Full Member

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    Hi,

    I saw on the other thread that you decided not to continue with LL.

    I just want to wish you lots of luck with whichever diet you choose.

    It shouldn't be keeping you up worrying, so you have probably made the right decision for you.

    Good Luck. :)
     
  10. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    WiIthout sounding harsh, I don't think you are committed enough to do LL now, and you are trying to talk youself out of it, as said above.

    At first the course/teaching thread, seemed to be looking for someone to say not to do it, but that wasn't the case. So now your innerv oice is trying to talk you out of it by doing it more conventionally.

    I think it is not the right time for you to do this, or you wouldn;t have so many doubts just on day 2. You need to do this diet with zest, from day one.

    But - it is only a choice you can make.

    I think when your reasons to do it are things like, "to lose weight for my health, to lose it forever and understand why I got there in the first place, etc., " rather then for it to be "fast and so you don't have to cook/exercies", etc., " then it maybe is not the right time to do it.

    But only you know the answers.

    Good luck whatever you do.

    x
     
  11. dancing-in-the-rain

    dancing-in-the-rain Full Member

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    Thank you for your honesty, BL.

    I think your absolutely right. Amazed I didn't spot that, but that's just one of the things I find these boards so helpful for...


    The reason I want to sort out my eating is to lose weight and sort out my relationship with (and dependancy on) food, to eat when I'm hungry and not for every other reason under the sun. But funnily enough that's not the reason I want to go on LL. I still sort of believe all the nay-sayers, which is silly because I've read lots about how it's worked for so many people. I see LL as a diet, not as a way of sorting out my eating problems, which is, I guess, partly why I'm not 100% there.

    These forums are amazingly helpful. I don't trust my counsellor to have my best interests at heart - I have a little voice in the back of my head that says of course she wants me to sign up, for the money. It doesn't matter to her whether this is the right time etc.

    Anyway, I wasn't taking it one day at a time, and I wasn't facing up to some of the points you've raised. I'm still going, I'm on Day 3. It hasn't been a perfect journey so far, but I want to remain here, take it foodpack by foodpack and start to explore some of the issues that have been raised, because they're very interesting.

    BL, you really touched a nerve. I feel like having a cry now, and I think that's a good thing. So thank you.
     
  12. sasha23

    sasha23 Member

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    Lighter life is simple yet difficult at the same time lol. Simple because there is no thought or preparation required for the foodpacks..its just add water and drink. Difficult because you crave food and miss it.
    What has helped me get this far is admitting that I do have a problem with food. You need to see it as a break..the food will always be there but on this break you are losing weight and learning how to eat food in moderation and enjoy it.
     
  13. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Oh dear - I didn't mean to do that - but - if it is a helpful cry, you may find that helps clear some of the negativity.

    Its not an easy decision, mind, and it is an extreme diet. But I really do feel it requires all or nothing, to save you the dissappointment of on again, off again, and the emotions that can trigger.

    You will know in your heart hwat is the right way forward, and you know we are all here, all with similar stories, expreiences, worries, triumphs, dissappontments, etc. So you are never alone.

    And as I have said before, a burden shared, is a burden lessened.

    Listen to your heart, and your gut. It will guide you the way forward. :)

    xx
     
  14. Beeswax

    Beeswax Tiny dancer

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    Hi Dancing,

    I've only been on it for 2.5 days so don't have much to add to the debate, but I'm in the same position here:

    I'm relatively new at my job, we have large communal kitchens and people are pretty much up in everybody else's bidness.

    Standing in the middle of the room, wielding my stick blender, whirring away on my shakes to my heart's delight and fielding questions from all and sundry about WHAT THE HELL I THINK I'M DOING with a cheery and open attitude is more than I can bear, so I have resolved to do this on weekdays:

    Pack 1: a shake at home before I leave.
    Pack 2: porridge at work.
    Pack 3: a soup or bar at work.
    Pack 4: a shake at home.

    I don't know if that helps at all.

    Also, you say you want to explore the reasons behind your attitude to food but you're still sceptical about LL: I'm doing LL because a friend did it and had such success. *She* was sceptical throughout and didn't participate too much in group, but she did make a note of all the theory they learned in TA and CBT, and found she could privately apply it to her own life. She said, and I imagine this is quite common, all her "epiphanies" happened inside her own head rather than in group, but that without the theory she probably wouldn't have understood much about her own problem with food.

    Anyway, best of luck with whatever you decide, and well done for coming this far :)
     
  15. dancing-in-the-rain

    dancing-in-the-rain Full Member

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    Thank you Beeswax, that is such a nice post. Really made me feel better.

    I've already got strategies for the staffroom, I got them straight in my head before I even committed to restart, because I knew it would be a diet-blowing hurdle.

    Both the veg and tomato soups can be done without a blender. I'm also planning to take in a sandwich - one I don't like (fortunately I'm not keen on sandwiches anyway). I'll have the soup and have the sandwich visibly there, but not eat it. If anyone notices I'll just say I'm not hungry and will have it later.

    I know it sounds funny, but just by having food there people ask you less questions - people don't seem to comment as much if you say you're just not hungry, whereas if you say you're on a diet...especially a non-food diet, most feel free to vent their opinions!

    My battle with my weight and my food issues is my business, not a public debate.
     
  16. dancing-in-the-rain

    dancing-in-the-rain Full Member

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    Forgot to say, except on minimins!!!
     
  17. Tange

    Tange Silver Member

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    Hi Dancing
    My two pennies worth is this. And its been said ad nauseum on here. You are doing this for you. Do you really care about other people's opinions. I know its sometimes hard to deal with but if done properly said people will back off.

    A close friend of mine who I expected support from did nothing but give me negative feedback, needless to say she is no longer a friend.

    Its hard this diet but it works. I find writing yourself a letter works, I know BL did it and I have too. I read it every morning when I get to work and then add to it. Believe me I still have the good the bad and ugly sitting on my shoulder yelling different things. (And I am doing this for the second time trying to shift a stone that suddenly appeared :eek: )

    Good luck hun with whatever you decide. Ultimately its what is going to be more suitable for you.
    T
     
  18. Beeswax

    Beeswax Tiny dancer

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    Oh, I'm glad! This stuff is so hard, I'm glad I helped a little.

    I only discovered this on my first day - Monday - and it really annoyed me. My manager knows and is really supportive, and I decided to tell my team to avoid sneaking around, but JEEZ. They all started waving croissants and Ferrerro Rocher in my face! What is it that motivates people to do this? And the old 'but you don't need to lose weight!' chestnut. Thanks, but the scales say I do. Also, where was all this Ferrero Rocher before I decided to lose weight, I'd like to know? Hmm.

    Agree entirely. The last 2 days have been really bad for me, and I've found myself wanting to quit more than once, and go a more conventional route.

    This is probably not true in your case, but I've been pushing the thoughts away, because I know I'm a skilled self-saboteur, and I only want to quit so I can go back to "failing" on a conventional diet.

    Just aiming to get through it hour by hour at the moment :) :rolleyes:
     
  19. Poppysparkle

    Poppysparkle Silver Member

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    Hi, I've not been on here for a long time but just wanted to say that I absolutely am behind you 100%! If it wasn't for LL I'd be 6.5 stone heavier right now! I love the diet and have put on about half a stone since I got to below my goal in March this year, but it's been a miracle for me and luckily I managed to stick to it 100% through abstinence. I've found the management harder obviously, but I'm still within half a stone of my goal weight. I've NEVER maintained this long, ever, on any diet! It's honestly been the easiest diet that I've ever done, although I understand that it won't be for everyone, I just enjoy the absolute rules of LL!

    All I can say is if you truly, truly want to be thin, then give LL a proper chance and you will be. If you don't for whatever reason it might be that you are stopping yourself succeeding for now, give it another go later on, as if you are in the right head space you cannot fail to be successful!

    I really wish you all the best and pray that you manage to succeed. I can honestly, honestlyl say with all my heart that it's the best thing that I ever did for ME....and ignore completely what anyone else says because you are the most important person in your life - I've learnt that the hard way!

    All the best with whatever you decide!

    x
     
  20. dancing-in-the-rain

    dancing-in-the-rain Full Member

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    Ah thank you poppysparkle. You are an inspiration and I found your post very motivational. you look fantastic! I really appreciate all the support on here.

    I'm another day through and feeling better today. Much less internal chattering! Here's to another good day tomorrow and one day to hit goal and maintain like you...
     
  21. LaydeeBug

    LaydeeBug Full Member

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    Hi Poppy,

    I am a Septembr starter, and I have to say people like you help me to keep going!

    I'm at the end of day 8...it's not been a breeze, but I have not cheated or felt like completely giving up...i hope I can do this.

    You look fantastic....please pop into our Sept starters thread when you can to keep myself and my september buddies motivated!:)

    Blonde Logic and the others are great, but I think the more succeeders we all hear from, the more we can push ourselves.

    Thanks. xx
     
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