KayMarie
Full Member
I need to vent some fed up-ness.
So far on Xenical, I have lost 21lb. Now, I lost most of this in the beginning and the last month has just been an absolute nightmare.
I started at 277 a few months ago and am currently down to 256.
I gained 6lb on holiday, which took me from 258 to 264, then when I came back from holiday I dropped back down, then the week after stayed the same and this morning I was 256.6. I weigh myself first thing on a morning, with just my knickers on, so I know its accurate, yet if I weigh myself at the end of the day, with clothes on I can be 264, even if I have weigh at 258 on the morning????
I haven't got back in to the swing of going to the gym, because to be quite frank I'm knackered from uni work, placement, my house etc... and I know its no excuse, I'm back at my spinning class tommorow. And I have had a few lairy nights out since being back and eaten out etc... but i have restricted myself when out and been semi sensible!
I have noticed a lot of difference clothes wise, i'm in size 18 dresses now and bought a size 18 denim jacket at the weekend and I do look better which is really nice...I just want it to keep going...
I just feel like its not happening quick enough. I want it all gone. This is the last of my missions and I want to be slimmer and enjoying going to the gym and enjoying exercise but I can't, because as I am now, it's bloody hard work.
Whats frustrating is, before I started all this and up until recently, I was happy, I wore what I want, did what I want and it didn't bother me like that, but now I feel like I am fixated on my appearance and losing weight and If i don't lose or don't feel like i look better it totally gets me down, when it didn't before.
I want to go on Lighter Life. I wanted to do that originally, I have been working my money out and I would just be able to do it, it would mean not socialising for 5 months (hopefully less) but it would be sooooo worth it! And then it would be gone and I could carry on eating healthily, enjoying working out and maintaining like I have been doing for a long time now, its not maintaining I struggle with, it's shifting it.
But as soon as I mention it to Curtis he goes balistic, says it's stupid, its ridiculous money and dangerous to starve myself and if I did it, it would be the end of us and thats not fair!
I don't tell him he can't go on track days and risk his life because its dangerous and a lot of money do I? and as soon as I say - "well i don't want you doing track days then or I'll leave you!" I'm being ridiculous and its not the same.
I'm frustrated and I'm SICK OF IT. I've never posted a whiney post liek this before and I know I need to buck my ideas up but I'm seriously exasperated at the minute.
/end of rant
So far on Xenical, I have lost 21lb. Now, I lost most of this in the beginning and the last month has just been an absolute nightmare.
I started at 277 a few months ago and am currently down to 256.
I gained 6lb on holiday, which took me from 258 to 264, then when I came back from holiday I dropped back down, then the week after stayed the same and this morning I was 256.6. I weigh myself first thing on a morning, with just my knickers on, so I know its accurate, yet if I weigh myself at the end of the day, with clothes on I can be 264, even if I have weigh at 258 on the morning????
I haven't got back in to the swing of going to the gym, because to be quite frank I'm knackered from uni work, placement, my house etc... and I know its no excuse, I'm back at my spinning class tommorow. And I have had a few lairy nights out since being back and eaten out etc... but i have restricted myself when out and been semi sensible!
I have noticed a lot of difference clothes wise, i'm in size 18 dresses now and bought a size 18 denim jacket at the weekend and I do look better which is really nice...I just want it to keep going...
I just feel like its not happening quick enough. I want it all gone. This is the last of my missions and I want to be slimmer and enjoying going to the gym and enjoying exercise but I can't, because as I am now, it's bloody hard work.
Whats frustrating is, before I started all this and up until recently, I was happy, I wore what I want, did what I want and it didn't bother me like that, but now I feel like I am fixated on my appearance and losing weight and If i don't lose or don't feel like i look better it totally gets me down, when it didn't before.
I want to go on Lighter Life. I wanted to do that originally, I have been working my money out and I would just be able to do it, it would mean not socialising for 5 months (hopefully less) but it would be sooooo worth it! And then it would be gone and I could carry on eating healthily, enjoying working out and maintaining like I have been doing for a long time now, its not maintaining I struggle with, it's shifting it.
But as soon as I mention it to Curtis he goes balistic, says it's stupid, its ridiculous money and dangerous to starve myself and if I did it, it would be the end of us and thats not fair!
I don't tell him he can't go on track days and risk his life because its dangerous and a lot of money do I? and as soon as I say - "well i don't want you doing track days then or I'll leave you!" I'm being ridiculous and its not the same.
I'm frustrated and I'm SICK OF IT. I've never posted a whiney post liek this before and I know I need to buck my ideas up but I'm seriously exasperated at the minute.
/end of rant