Addictive eating

[Lily]

I used to think having a bath was a non food way of relaxing etc...but recently realised that, although I enjoy a bath, it doesn't actually change anything... I suddenly understood that to really deal with my feelings I'd have to find something that does change something and do it regardless. So far...diary writing, tai chi and walking. Oh and sorting sock drawers.

I initially found myself glaring at the diary, and feeling a bit tantrummy about it. Then cajoled myself by saying, open it and write one sentence only. After a while of doing that I started enjoying my one sentence...and found three pages later I was feeling better, kind of satisfied. This all sounds very silly...but there you go

Incidentally I'm still working on the resistance to tai chi and walking. The resistance is interesting in itself...

Oooh. That's a really interesting thought about the bath thing. I've never looked at it that way - but of course, you're right. It might just work to change your mood, I s'pose, but in terms of getting that sense of achievement - not so much. I'm going to struggle with the motivation to clear out my sock drawer, though. :sigh:

I've started a diary here. I figured I might as well. But I've told myself that it's my diary. That if I want to rant in it, I can. That if I've had a really rubbish day, I'm going to say so, rather than try to put a positive spin on it. Unless of course, I want to put a positive spin on it. But that's kind of the point. I'm going to do my level best to make it the diary I need to write, rather than the diary I'd like folks to read, if that makes sense?

LOL, I'm rambling. Think p'raps I'd better get to bed.:zz:

 

[LV30]

God - I'm so glad I'm not the only one experiencing what i'm going through. I'm not really a freak of nature!! It's really quite a shock - if that's the right word - to read what's going in other people's lifes just mirroring what's going on in yours.

I (think i?) need therapy. My head is so messed up it's unreal. So many potential triggers... although sometimes the thought of even talking about what's gone on in my past fills me with dread. Is it better to leave it tucked away in some dark corner in my head then having to deal with it face on? I don't know. I've gone through so much loss and sadness that sometimes i don't know if I could revisit it all again.

But i do know this - food isn't the answer. My head really does need to listen to that.

 

[Goreygirl]

@ Contrary... I'm going to try that "just write one sentence" technique because I know deep down journalling is such an excellent tool. I'm also going to try and apply the same principle to walking "just go out for 5 minutes and then come home if I really want to".

@ LV - i used to feel like I had all these rooms in my head behind these closed doors and I was so so scared about the prospect of opening those doors and finding out what was in those rooms. The problem with trying to keep them closed is the contents start oozing out around the door jamb and slowly leaking into your everyday life wearing you down. My therapist created a safe environment for me to open the doors and start exploring the contents gently and with his support. It feels such a relief not to have to have that constant fear of those doors anymore. It really hit me the other day that there are no more closed doors anymore and that feels great although I am still a work in progress (as old habits of coping die hard). If you are going to talk to someone I'd really recommend a psychotherapist rather than a counsellor; they work on a totally different level and it's a longer process but really is worth it. The MIND website has an online section explaining the differences and you can find psychotherapists on the BACP website (their entries should list their "specialities" - I went down the list until I found an list that "reasonated" with me".

 

[LV30]

Thank you. Thank you.

I will have a look at that MIND website. I've lived with these feelings for long that they are such a part of "me"... it's all too confusing and that's probably why i haven't dealt with it before now.

Thank you again. See, you talk so much sense.

Now go clean your bathroom!!

And i've got a half day - up to Police HQs for my BF to see the Force doctor... the poor sod is still in plaster so I don't see what the point is... he can't go back to work yet... but it's all to do with procedure. And i've got a half day... yay!! (did i say that already!!).

I've got half day!! Yippee!!

See you all on here tomorrow... have a good day.