After my week 12 binge....

[Sez]

I posted about having a mega binge last Thurs, just after my WI. I have tried to fight the demons all this week, and just had my Week 13 WI; thankfully I managed to lose another 2.2lbs.

I didnt think I would be able to do this, so am quite happy with that. I fully intend to do lots and lots of water this coming week to make up for my errors!

I am still feeling very low, as it finally dawned on me that I am going to be on this blasted programme for much much longer than the rest of my group and will be gradually waving goodbye to each of them in turn. I dont like myself much right now and think I am going to have to take myself off t bed very early to avoid the lure of the food cupboard...


(plus OH cooked the family tea whilst I was out and can smell the sausages and new potatoes right now....:sigh::sigh

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Nasty sausages .......... why do they always smell soooo good??!!!

Well done on your loss this week . Don't beat yourself up. So what if it takes you longer - you'll get there. Yes you may wave goodbye to lots of your group - but will meet new people who will be in the same boat as you and with whom you will forge a new relationship.

You are nearly half way through your weight loss journey and must feel proud of yourself for that? Good luck to you - keep on in there and you'll soon be reporting fantastic weight losses!!!

 

[NICKY]

you are so hard on yourself babe
you are an inspiration to me if no one else
the first time i posted on here you came back with such a great reply and i really admired you for it
so now it is my turn
just put it behind you learn to like yourself (it should be easy)
and as beverly says there will be new people for you to get to know that will feel just like you do
xxxxxx

 

[SafcGirl31]

Glad your little blip didn't put you off track weight wise.
I feel for you about the time left, theres 3 (incl. me) out of 11 from my group continuing in development, luckily we have similar amounts to lose so I'm not too worried about that but I'm sure I'll start to feel resentful nearer to the 100 days. Try to concentrate on how far you've come already, nearly 5 stones already. You'll feel so much better when you arrive at your goal, its worth it I'm sure it is, these hard months of LL are just short-term, long-term is a healthier and much happier you. Keep posting thru the hard times. xx

 

[Helen]

Hi Sez

Thats weird, I had a problem in week 12 also (am now in week 14). Part of mine was caused I think by the recommendation to drink milk in week 12 BUT I had also realised I was going to be doing the program for another 5 months and that everyone else in my group would have left by then as I am the heaviest with the lowest target. So I know exactly how you feel.

But don't beat yourself up about it. You have had a binge but have stopped now and are thinking positively about continuing the program. Remind yourself how well you have done already too and how much better it is to continue on this diet than spend at least twice as long doing a more conventional diet.

You may have read on another thread that I have stuck a picture of a path through a bluebell wood that I visited last year on the cupboard door - we have the tools and support we need to make the rest of the journey as easy as a walk along a path in a bluebell wood if we stick to the path and don't deviate. Our negative thoughts, breaking abstinence etc are what can turn this walk into a climb up mount everest!!!

Don't get me wrong, it is still not easy and I would love to finish tomorrow but I keep reminding myself about the path and it is helping!

I don't know whether any of this helps but I do understand exactly how you feel. I notice we have lost a similar amount with a similar amount left to lose so maybe we can support each other as our groups dwindle away to just ourselves!

 

[Cerulean]

Helen - that was a lovely post. Very inspirational. I have about 120 lbs to losein total and I thought it was insurmountable but here I am - 4 months in and 2/3 of the way to my goal. The next 2-3 months will sail past in comparison to the first 2 months.

Anyway - Sez, hun - you'll get there - surviving the blip has made you stronger - you are so strong being in a house with the smell of cooking - I have every admiration for people who do this with families and OHs.

Keep going. You're amazing and wonderful and you deserve the success I know you'll achieve.

 

[Sez]

You may have read on another thread that I have stuck a picture of a path through a bluebell wood that I visited last year on the cupboard door - we have the tools and support we need to make the rest of the journey as easy as a walk along a path in a bluebell wood if we stick to the path and don't deviate. Our negative thoughts, breaking abstinence etc are what can turn this walk into a climb up mount everest!!!



This is so beautiful, and what a lovely image and idea too! Thank you much Helen. xx

I am fine really, apart feeling grotty and home from work!! (THE worst headache ever kept me awake all night and is still there, despite ibruprofen.)

Had a really bad time with OH last night, as hadnt told him about the binge. When he asked about my loss and realised it was a small one, I told him of my error. My heavens was he mad with me! He went off on one about wasting all that money, how could I do that etc etc. Iwas soooo hurt, that I just went off to bed, hence no posting last night!!

He did come and apologise after a few hours, and I explained how bad he made me feel , especially after I did actually manage to lose weight following the choco-fest! He is lovely & I love him dearly, but despite nearly 17 years of marriage to a fatty he just doesnt get this food/eating thing. I dont think he ever will.

Maybe its because he's a male..........

 

[Helen]

Sometimes men just don't understand our need for chocolate I am glad there wasn't any in the house when I broke abstinence! Maybe you could explain to him, if you haven't already, that you have learnt a lot already as you stopped the binge in the early stages, hence the weightloss and that pre LL things would have been a lot worse - ie the end of the diet would probably have been looming. And also that everyone makes occasional mistakes! I told my DH about my lapse as soon as I saw him BUT that was for my own benefit as I thought that if I didn't I would still be secretly eating, something I don't want to do again.

Will happily send you the picture of the bluebell path if you think it will help if you know how to pm me with your email address - I can't work out how to do it, I don't think I have any of the links or haven't posted enough to have authorisation or something! Or if I can post it anywhere for you to download? I go around desperately thinking to myself "the path, the path, remember the path"

 

[Helen]

sorry, forgot to say, hope you are feeling better soon!

And thank you Cerulean for your lovely comment and postive attitude towards the next few months. I am not quite in that place yet and have had to go back to thinking about one day at a time.

 

[AmandaJayne]

Hia Sez

Just caught up with your thread.

What I've learned about making mistakes is that now I don't allow them to become permanent. I draw a line under the incident and attempt to learn from it. Tomorrow is a new beginning.

In the past I would have given up and binged some more (what's the point, I've screwed up). It is such a stupid reaction, too because I only hurt and punished myself.

So, you have learned a lot over the past few months, and you know that blips like this will happen (after all, you are only human). You have learned hw crucial your reaction to these transgressions is.

You could write out a thought record to put it down on paper. Whatever you do, you are putting new mechanisms in place to support you through the rest of your LL journey.

These new habits will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life. You will no longer make the same mistakes you always made in the past. If you do make errors, LEARN FROM THEM, don't punish yourself. Draw a line. Put them in the past. Look forward.

I am back to eating now and every day is a learning experience. I have discovered that certain foods set up the binge mentality and knoweldge has given me choices.

I have found that starting each day afresh helps me to stay focused on the bigger picture.

I am absolutely certain that you will get over this. Your hubby will soon realise that you are not falling back into old habits, but lhave earned new strategies to deal with inevitable 'blips' that crop up.

I mean, no one gets onto a bike and cycles straight away, do they? They wobble and fall off several times before getting the hang of it. Even when they do get the hang of cycling, lack of concentrationcan can cause them to wobble and fall off again!

Congratulations on your super achievement to date anyway, Sez. Like Nicky, I think you are a great inspiration to others!

 

[Mrs Lard]

Dear Sez

Gosh, you sound like you need a hug and all these lovely posts are the virtual equivalent. Like Cerulean, I am also in awe of people who continue to cook for their families every day. That takes some doing, I must say.

I think we can all understand that moment when you feel it is just too much but, as AmandaJayne says, these are the times that you can learn from your mistakes. I am a massive fan of thought records - partly influenced by my LLC and by AJ.

I'd like to reassure you that you are doing SO well; do you know that successful business people will often say their mistakes have been their biggest successes because it's enabled them to get to the right answer?

I really like this quote and I thought it would be just right for now:

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing.

George Bernard Shaw

Well, you are doing the opposite of nothing - you are losing weight - and how!! Give the thought record a try (AJ has posted hers on here and I've put mine on my blog).

I wish you well on the next stage of your journey; don't think about what lies ahead but just take a moment to take a look at what you've achieved so far.

Big kiss.

Mrs L xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Sez]

I am absolutely certain that you will get over this. Your hubby will soon realise that you are not falling back into old habits, but lhave earned new strategies to deal with inevitable 'blips' that crop up.

I mean, no one gets onto a bike and cycles straight away, do they? They wobble and fall off several times before getting the hang of it. Even when they do get the hang of cycling, lack of concentrationcan can cause them to wobble and fall off again!

Thanks AJ. I think Steve has already thought about his reaction to me, as this pm he has been much more supportive, and I think he made genuine attempts to understand "my world". I have written down why I think this happened, and my understanding of it, and I discussed it with my LLC last night. She, of course, fully understood, as I suspect she had heard a similar thing many times before! The "its the end of foundation and I flipped..." story!!


As for your other analogy re riding a bike, you couldnt have known but this is something I have honestly NEVER been able to do. I ride, I wobble, I fall off. My children fly about on their bikes, no fear or worries, Mum however, regards each bike outing (& they are very rare for me) as a white knuckle ride, and heads off in total trepidation!! LOL!!

Thanks for the support again, all is well here....oh & I might even hear if I have a job in September, by next week, so fingers crossed!!

arty0011:arty0011:arty0011:arty0011:arty0011:arty0011:

 

[Betty Boo]

Sez

You really have done so well, you have come a long way and as the others have said one binge does not mean the end. Take it as a fresh start, you did it, thing about why, write these thoughts down and move on.

I m sure that once you have got over the headaches and the urge to eat you will feel a lot stronger and more positive.

We all think you have done wll and deep down you must be proud of what you have achived so keep your chin up and plod through Nikki's bluebell wood until you reach the end of your journey to the next stage of your walk.

:hug99: xx

 

[Sez]

Oh I am proud, believe me! i am also buoyed up by everyone here!!

I am bubbling now, happy as larry, whoever he may be! I am full of positve vibes, all is calm at home and any minute now there will be THai chill crisps to munch on!! Life is good!!

Mrs Lard - I totally agree with the thought records. At first I could not see how they would help, but they really do, quite cathartic. MY blog is my main source of recording, and even if no-one reads it, boy does it help clear my mind and start my new week afresh!!

Night night all!

 

[AmandaJayne]

"....As for your other analogy re riding a bike, you couldnt have known but this is something I have honestly NEVER been able to do. I ride, I wobble, I fall off. My children fly about on their bikes, no fear or worries, Mum however, regards each bike outing (& they are very rare for me) as a white knuckle ride, and heads off in total trepidation!! LOL!!..."

Well you know what Sarah, I am the same. I have been riding a bike for years and it has never become easy for me. I won't ride on roads, just the canal path, and I have to concentrate a lot of the time.

I think that maintaining a healthy weight long term may be the same, constant checking and vigilence, and a lot of wobbling too!

 

[Jodie]

Hi there.
My advice is make sure that you stop the bingeing now if you can. I started having little binges when I was about half way through my weight loss and have now put back on all of the weight that I lost and need to start all over again (which is really hard). Sticking at it is so hard because it gets boring and you crave real taste - but it is so worth fighting as hard as you can to get past it. You can do it! xx