Am I being too sensitive here....?

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Blonde Logic, 18 February 2008 Social URL.

  1. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    When I came in from weighing in tonight, I was slighlty deflated. I lost 2.8 pounds, which was the same amount I lost last week. Last week I was dissappointed, but still happy it was a loss, if you get me - but tonight to have it the same, I was a bit gutted. I know its down, and I am happy about that, and I know its nearly three pounds, and I am happy about that - and I have known all along the early weeks of bbig losses will slow down.

    Saying all that, I was STILL dissappointed. This is hard - week in and week out watching others tucking in to nice meals, and then a 'small' loss. It feels small just because I suppose there is so much to go and I just want to get there.

    Anyway, I came in slightly bummed out. My husbands reaction to this to tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself or I will just start eating again. Now I know he is dog-tired. He worked nights last night and came home at 7am and got stuck in to the garage, so has had very little sleep in the last 24 hours. So I am attributing it to his being tired. But it still upset me.. All I said back was "I beg your pardon!!! I will NOT be eating again!!!" But now that he has gone to bed, its made me feel bad. I need to tell him that upset me and did not feel very supportive.

    7 weeks of abstaining, and it was the first moment I have complained - I didn;t even complain really - was just bummed. So I think I have done pretty darn well with my attitude staying positive and thuoght that was uncalled for.

    He is usually very supportive, and he did not mean it from a bad place - he was trying to help I guess....but I think I need to tell him in the morning that hurt my feelings.

    Am I being too sensitive? It was also a kind of heavy group chat tonite. I dont know.:sigh:
     
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  3. Slimseaa

    Slimseaa Silver Member

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    BL, don't be down honey u have done so so well, think of how much 2.8lbs is in the amount sugar or a piece of meat! I know how u are feeling, as my weightloss has slowed down sooooo much and gets me down too!

    Don't give up, u have done so so well and will carry on doing well! It's only natural to feel like this, because we have lost so much weight, we are starting to feel greedy with the weightloss and want to keep losing sooo mucheach week. Your husband just wants u to be happy and obviously doesn't like seeing u down . xx
     
  4. Sappho

    Sappho Full Member

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    You have had a stirling positive attitude towards this diet that has been inspirational so dont worry about having a down day.

    One huge thing that came out of my meeting today was that the actual weight is not really the issue, its the things about you that have to change that in the end are going to be the biggest reward.

    With regard to your hubby, I dont know how he said it but maybe he was just being "cruel to be kind" because he loves you and wants you to succeed but because he was maybe a little tired / cranky it came out in a gruff!

    Sweet dreams and a happy day tomorrow x
     
  5. luckyloser

    luckyloser Hate it but doing it!

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    Hi you,
    i appreciate how you feel but you much focus on how fantastically well you've done.
    Don't forget though, TOTM and water retention may make an impact on the weight loss that you have week after week.
    2.8lbs is still a phenominal weight loss that you would not get anywhere else on any other plan. Hubsters never really appreciate what we're trying to do because
    1) they're not doing the diet and have no idea how difficult this is and/or
    2) they've never had a self believe issue and can't appreciate the feelings that we associate with food.
    Please speak to hubster when you next get the chance and clear the air between you two. You're not being overly sensitive however as you said yourself you had a heavy group session tonight and that would have probably made you more vulnerable to anything said, by anybody.
    I know you're feeling poo at the mo but please try not to ponder on anything said and try and work out any reason behind it. I'll prob get shouted down for this but guys are never usually known for being able to say the right thing at the right time!!
    You're doing a very difficult thing, this is not easy but you're losing weight, you're getting healthier and, as i've come to accept, food will taste so much better when you're able to enjoy it wearing a fabulous pair of jeans inh the size you want them to be.
    Keep smiling moo.
    Everyone's here to help.
    xxx
    :grouphugg:
     
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  6. Flab-u-less-Flower

    Flab-u-less-Flower Silver Member

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    First and foremost, your doing Fantastic! Remember this was not a gain, or staying the same, this was a LOSS, take it and behappy! Sorry to hear about hubby, I am sure he was just tired and didn't mean it, tell him how you feel and I am sure all will be ok. Chinny chin up, your doing FANTASTIC, keep on truckin your way to goal, you can do this Blonde Logic, big hugs...
     
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  7. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

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    Here here to everything WW has posted BL...:D:D:D

    Try not to dwell on hubby's approach tonight as you know you are a little down and he is tired....not a good recipe for any meaningful chats!:rolleyes:

    I'm sure when you do speak to him he will be sorry and shocked that you were left feeling like this tonight.:eek:

    I'm just glad that you came and posted it all here so that we can try to prop you up a bit and cheer you up hopefully:D

    Lacey..xx:)
     
  8. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    Hello my Honey bunny,

    You have my permission to feel down as I know you have worked really hard and must be disappointed. Go and kick the cat (only joking):eek: or punch a cushion.:D

    Then after that pick yourself up and remember how far you have come and how good you feel being in total control. I think you are starting to feel the real feelings that I have often talked about. You will get over it and I hopefully tomorrow you will be bright and cheery again.

    2.8 lbs is quite a lot and you would never of probably lost that on a conventional diet so be proud of your achievement.

    Keep your pecker up honey.

    :hug99:
     
  9. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    BL you just left the chat room as I went into it.
     
  10. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    THank you ladies. You have all made me tear up a little, and a sniffle or two too. I really am trying not to feel sorry for myself. I just wish I was not even here dealing with all this sh*t if I am honest. I think when I have a smaller loss I just get so mad at myself for even allowing myself to become the size I am. Then everything gets a bit muddled and I just feel pooey.

    I know you're right- it is a loss, and not a gain or staying the same. We talked about crooked thinking for the first time tonight and I think that is all I have done since then. I don't think that was how it was supposed to work.

    I'm just feeling mad at myself I guess.

    Thank you all so much.
     
  11. Flab-u-less-Flower

    Flab-u-less-Flower Silver Member

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    Your welcome, vent anytime!
     
  12. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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    it seems common for people to go through something like this in week 6/7/8. (I did too) At least take reassurance from the fact you are not alone and that it is widely reported that people have to dig deep on motivation and determination for a couple of weeks around this time. It gets better again.

    Congrats on your loss!
     
  13. Curlygurl

    Curlygurl Full Member

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    Just want to reiterate what everyone else has said about how much you have achieved. You have made such a positive start on your journey, and have been so upbeat and supportive of everyone else. It isn't about the weight, it's about the journey, and learning about what caused us to gain weight in the first place. That's whats going to work the magic.


    This question is not intended to be hurtful or judgemental at all BL, but I wonder if part of the reason that your husbands comments were so hurtful is because they hit a nerve. He suggested that you shouldn't get upset because you would start eating again. Which suggests to me that he has recognised that you are an 'emotional eater', like most of us here. Now, I know from what you have written, that you are extremely self aware and insightful, but you might not have thought that it was so obvious to you husband.

    And now you know that it is. And it can be hard when we realise that our menfolk don't have us on a pedestal, and see our flaws. It's hard for me anyway. And although his comments might have been tactless and badly phrased, they probably came from that fact that he loves you, and has seen you do so well on this plan, and he doesn't want to see you going back to destructive habits. Not because he doesn't believe in you, but because he loves you and loves to see you happy.

    I hope I haven't overstepped the mark. It's natural for your enthusiasm to plateau from time to time.

    Keep smiling BL! You'll get there.
     
  14. x-Katie-x

    x-Katie-x Gold Member

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    Hi BL ---- now come on and up you get - get back up there to your usual high speck where life is good and you're doing great ----- you know that that's true and you are doing bloody great!

    If anyone else had said what your hubby said to you it really wouldn't have affected you in the same way ---- I can totally see where he's coming from in saying it though, he was kicking away your negative thoughts before they even really begin by letting you know what could be the truth. You see what he said as criticism but it won't be - what he'll have actually meant to give you by saying that was support by telling you to banish those negative thoughts out of your head.

    Now of course the fact that he's knackered and might have because of that said it a little differently to how he normally would have, added to the fact that you feel down (and you shouldn't - remember get back up there) equals a recipe for disaster - a LL cake gone wrong.

    Get yourself to bed and give him a big cuddle - that will make you both feel better and sleep better.

    You're doing brilliantly - you just need to remember that (((((hugs)))))
     
  15. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Thank you everyone = thanks so much for your replies - they mean an awful lot to me.
    Curly, I fully understand your comments and don't think you stepped to far at all - I appreciate your honesty. :) But its no secret in the house that I am an emotional eater. My husband is the only man I have ever been able to talk to openly about my weight issues....he really is supportive and I think our moods were just out of sync tonite is all.. but I fully know what you were saying! Indeed.
    And Katie you spoke a lot of truth too.

    Thanks for your support - and to Lady, DaisyB, and Mandee in the chat earlier.

    You are all stars, and I AM feeling much better.

    AND....there is a silver lining to my little gloomy cloud - I have lost 10% of my body weight, and when I realised that it made me quite happy.

    Thanks everyone- be lost without the support here.

    XXXXXX
     
  16. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Oh and Dancing...that was very interesting, thanks for sharing that...makes me feel better knowing others have ups and downs around this time. Thanks for sharing that!! :)
     
  17. x-Katie-x

    x-Katie-x Gold Member

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    That's 10% of you gone forever ...... don't it feel fantastic :D
     
  18. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

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    10% of your body weight?!!!!!! now THAT's the thought to be on your mind as you lay your head on the pillow tonight!!!!!

    Lacey..xx :)
     
  19. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Yep Isis!! I wish I would have realised that BEFORE I had my litle pity party, , then the whole thing probably would have passed without notice!!!:eek::rolleyes:

    Feeling brighter this morning. :)
     
  20. silhouettes

    silhouettes Silver Member

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    Glad you are feeling brighter today. It is disappointing when you dont lose as much as you wanted. I have regular weeks when i only loose 1 - 1.5lbs and i do get dispondant but i have worked out that i have a cycle of 2 - 3 weeks of very good weight loss then a week of only a little. I average just under 1 stone per month, and although i would love it to be a bit more, i have to accept that my body is going to lose weight at the rate it is happy with.
    10% of your body weight is fantastic.
    Keep going, it is definitely worth it.
    sil x
     
  21. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    Hi BL

    You were entitled to your pity party you seemed to have moved on which is great, you have helped so many on here and it was our turn to help you.

    Whey heeeeyyyyyy 10%, now thats something to shout about.

    WAY TO GO

    :party0011::party0011::party0011::party0011::party0011::party0011::party0011::party0011:​
     
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