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Am I Crazy?

S: 22st0.5lb C: 18st5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 3st9.5lb(16.69%)
#1
Today, I broke down.
I am suffering with mild depression so excuse me if this is ridiculous.

On a Monday, Tues, Wed, Thurs - I work only in the morning. Recently I started working Fridays too but all day.

Today was such a hard day - firstly working all day is fab - but lunchtime is awful.
I went into the staffroom and there was a box of all differet bags of walkers crisps that you could just help yourself to.
I sat eating my lunch having a battle with myself - and its just ridiculous but maybe someone will understand.
It went something like this;
"have a bag - come on just count them"
"you dont need them look at your dinner and just eat what youve got"
"go on you deserve them"
"no - you shouldnt eat them its a waste of syns"
"but I do have a syn allowance to use"
"but you dont need them"
"but I want them"
"you're going out for a meal on tuesday - you should be having low syns till then"
"but one bag of crisps wont make a difference"
"you'll only feel guilty"
"you shouldnt feel guilty"
"but you will you always do"
I probably sound like a crazy person - but I'm hoping someone can relate.

What should I do in this situation?

xxx
 
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#3
Actually it's not just inner battles I have if I'm honest...I developed a lovely habit of walking into Asda and picking up the lovely baked goods they always have on offer at the front and then sniffing at them all the way round before abandoning them somewhere else in the shop whilst having that battle....I'm lucky I never got banned :)
 
S: 22st0.5lb C: 18st5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 3st9.5lb(16.69%)
#4
I didn't eat them - but I just feel so silly for having an arguement with myself.
Should I have eaten them? xx
 
#5
Nope, the fact you had the battle but resisted shows you have more inner strength than you think you have hun...well done :)

Be warned you'll not win them all....go easy on yourself when you lose some xx
 
S: 19st8.5lb C: 17st11lb Loss: 1st11.5lb(9.29%)
#6
Having the argument with yourself shows that you are thinking about it though. I had an internal struggle with myself when OH ate a pizza last week and I was wondering one slice wouldn't hurt but chances are it wouldn't have ended with one. So I horrified myself by looking up the syns in the book. Still had the internal struggle though.

We are all changing the way we eat by doing SW so I imagine many of us have these internal battles. Do you feel better for not eating them? Now you have syns for something else, just make sure you use them ;)

and don't feel silly x
 
S: 22st0.5lb C: 18st5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 3st9.5lb(16.69%)
#7
Thanks lovelies. I do feel better for not eating them - but I just feel so silly for having this battle with myself.

Hope you've had a good Slimming World week :) xx
 
S: 15st12.5lb C: 15st6lb G: 9st12.5lb BMI: 37.1 Loss: 0st6.5lb(2.92%)
#8
If this is a sign of going crazy, they would have locked me up and thrown away the key by now!!! hahaha
 
S: 11st6.5lb C: 9st11lb G: 8st11lb Loss: 1st9.5lb(14.64%)
#9
Honestly it is completely normal! I do it all the time, think to myself I have these syns to use maybe I'll have some chocolate/crisps etc then think no save the syns for wkend or whenever! My OH always eating non Sw food and can be a real struggle! Just think at the end of it all you will be the size you want to be and start to build up your self confidence/ esteem and start to feel better about yourself!

I too have suffered with depression and you have to just take everything one step at a time! Losing weight isn't the be all and end all you'll get there in the end some days are good others not so good but we will all get there!

Wish you lots of luck

Xx
 
S: 15st12.5lb C: 15st6lb G: 9st12.5lb BMI: 37.1 Loss: 0st6.5lb(2.92%)
#11
Ooooh Margery I see you are doing the 30 day shred....so far I have watched it through and tried it once but only got 5 mins in and my arms were dead....how you getting on with it?

I'm doing really well thanks. I found the first two days really hard, especially as come the second day my muscles were killing me, but I can honestly say, that once you get to day 5 it is easier. I haven't done it every day, as some days I just don't get the time, but I have done it for 5 out of the 7 days.

Keep going and you will get there x
 
S: 17st11lb C: 16st4lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 37.9 Loss: 1st7lb(8.43%)
#12
ooohh if that makes you crazy -then budge over and make room for one more in the crazy corner...
I have those sorts of conversations all the time.. and hubby came home early from work today -I didn't hear him come in but he howled with laughter and replayed what he had heard...
*me with head in fridge*
"hmmm no its not you I want ham"
-"ooohh yoghurt -hmmm no I will eat you later"
-"no, no -not salad -I had you earlier"
"ahhh now what about cottage cheese?"
"nope had you earlier for lunch too"
"nahhh don't fancy you tuna"
"28g cheese?? oh maybe not" -
" I have enough syns" -"hmm yeh, but I don't fancy it"
"ooohhh lychees -thats it..its you I want"

apparently at this point my happy smiley face appeared from behind the fridge door :p... I could lie and say its a one off -but I do it all the time... and do you know what in 40 weeks I have never gone off plan and in part I think it is down to the constant reasoning I do in my head -and out loud :D
 
S: 22st0.5lb C: 18st5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 3st9.5lb(16.69%)
#13
ooohh if that makes you crazy -then budge over and make room for one more in the crazy corner...
I have those sorts of conversations all the time.. and hubby came home early from work today -I didn't hear him come in but he howled with laughter and replayed what he had heard...
*me with head in fridge*
"hmmm no its not you I want ham"
-"ooohh yoghurt -hmmm no I will eat you later"
-"no, no -not salad -I had you earlier"
"ahhh now what about cottage cheese?"
"nope had you earlier for lunch too"
"nahhh don't fancy you tuna"
"28g cheese?? oh maybe not" -
" I have enough syns" -"hmm yeh, but I don't fancy it"
"ooohhh lychees -thats it..its you I want"

apparently at this point my happy smiley face appeared from behind the fridge door :p... I could lie and say its a one off -but I do it all the time... and do you know what in 40 weeks I have never gone off plan and in part I think it is down to the constant reasoning I do in my head -and out loud :D
Hehe! This made me smile.
Thanks for being so honest :D hope you are having a good week. xxxx
 

gl12282

Plodding on.......
S: 17st9lb C: 14st6lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 34.7 Loss: 3st3lb(18.22%)
#14
Great thread. Hopefully you can see Anna that you are not the only one. We all do it. I wouldn't have got to this size if I didn't want to eat everything that's not good for me.

I agree with other posters though, that it gets easier. And from time to time I don't win - if it's within syn count then enjoy it and don't feel guilty. And if you lose the battle and are outside your syns, move on (and don't think 'I've blown it, now I'll really blow it') but try to come back and reflect on what you could do differently for next time so that you continue to win those battles every time except when you REALLY want it and it's within syns, in which case do it. This is a lifetime battle (for me certainly) so I just have to learn to deal with it and continue to do so.

Well done.

Gail x
 
S: 22st0.5lb C: 18st5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 3st9.5lb(16.69%)
#16
gl12282 said:
Great thread. Hopefully you can see Anna that you are not the only one. We all do it. I wouldn't have got to this size if I didn't want to eat everything that's not good for me.

I agree with other posters though, that it gets easier. And from time to time I don't win - if it's within syn count then enjoy it and don't feel guilty. And if you lose the battle and are outside your syns, move on (and don't think 'I've blown it, now I'll really blow it') but try to come back and reflect on what you could do differently for next time so that you continue to win those battles every time except when you REALLY want it and it's within syns, in which case do it. This is a lifetime battle (for me certainly) so I just have to learn to deal with it and continue to do so.

Well done.

Gail x
Hey! Thanks for the reply, I am seeing that I am not the only one, and I have to accept I will have these battles but it will get easier :)
Thankyou for your advice.
For me this isn't a diet this is for life. :)
Normally I would have had the conversation with myself and made a decision but I think because I'm feeling so low at the moment that's why I debated for so long.
Hope you're having a fabulous week xxx
 
S: 22st0.5lb C: 18st5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 3st9.5lb(16.69%)
#17
PurpleSky said:
I'm not going to share the contents of my battles as well it would go on for quite sometime hehehe. I'm learning a better relationship with food through sw but need to let go of all those hangs ups i has.
:) hehe it went on for an hour or so.
I need to have a better relationship with food, it will come eventually I hope.
Hope you've had a great week xxx
 
S: 20st2lb C: 18st9lb G: 14st0lb BMI: 42.1 Loss: 1st7lb(7.45%)
#18
gues we are all crazy then hun lol.
 

pinkyfluff

Grappling with life
#19
I think we all have those inner conversations/arguments with ourselves. I also have them after I have eaten said naughty item....

"you didn't enjoy that did you?"
"It was ok"
"yeah but be honest, now you feel bloated?"
"A little, so what?"
"Well don't you come crying to me on weigh in day missy"

You get the idea!

On and Theresa - I'm a supermarket sniffer too, my DH refuses to be in the same aisle with me when I start sniffing!
 
#20
i have battles like that everyday... often a few times a day!
at work someone has always brought biscuits or chocolates in and i battle everyday over those but i usually win.
then at lunch time i get a diet coke from the vending machine and battle with the next machine which is full of crisps and chocolates... this sometimes wins!
I'm sure its quite normal.... or I hope so anyway hehe x
 


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