lottie***
Full Member
hello everyone,
Im writing this feeling complete dispair at the moment, i actually came on the net to look up stuff up on google, for some sort of guidance for the answer, but some how ended up here...
I have always has such an issue with food, for as long as i can remember i was always binging and hiding and sneaking food, going to the shop and buying a cake but buying 2 and scoffing 1 on the way home (i can feel the tears coming ) i can even remeber thinking that i was only 8 years old and i weighed 8 stone!
Since i started my cambridge journey i have so many personal ups and downs that have affected my will power and how ive coped with this diet, my weight loss as been slow and ive struggled but did for the first time, but i managed to start piecing the path together- me and food and how it happened, after speaking to different family members it all sunk in for the first time ever...
when i was born my mum who was only 21 suffered for bulemia, my grandma had a very strong influence on my up bringing, she would feed me my meals and my mum would then insist that i was fed another meal when she would eat, through sheer paranoia that her problems would affect me, i was so over fed, even more to that affect when i would go and stay at my dads at the weekend, though paranoia that i wasnt being fed enough with my mum they would also over feed me and so it went on, that was where my addction to carbs started.
I have really hit rock bottom for the past 2 weeks and avoided everyone, i cant stop binging, i really cant, and this is so important to me, but my head tells me its not as important as the binge and i just carry on eating.. i really dont know what to do and im so sick of how food is ruining my life and how it has such an inflence on everything, i just wish so much that i could have a normal relationship with food.
This is the fist time i have ever admitted this out loud but i think i need professional help but im too embarrased to go to the docs in fear they will just fob me off.. i really dont know what to do, somebody help me....
Im writing this feeling complete dispair at the moment, i actually came on the net to look up stuff up on google, for some sort of guidance for the answer, but some how ended up here...
I have always has such an issue with food, for as long as i can remember i was always binging and hiding and sneaking food, going to the shop and buying a cake but buying 2 and scoffing 1 on the way home (i can feel the tears coming ) i can even remeber thinking that i was only 8 years old and i weighed 8 stone!
Since i started my cambridge journey i have so many personal ups and downs that have affected my will power and how ive coped with this diet, my weight loss as been slow and ive struggled but did for the first time, but i managed to start piecing the path together- me and food and how it happened, after speaking to different family members it all sunk in for the first time ever...
when i was born my mum who was only 21 suffered for bulemia, my grandma had a very strong influence on my up bringing, she would feed me my meals and my mum would then insist that i was fed another meal when she would eat, through sheer paranoia that her problems would affect me, i was so over fed, even more to that affect when i would go and stay at my dads at the weekend, though paranoia that i wasnt being fed enough with my mum they would also over feed me and so it went on, that was where my addction to carbs started.
I have really hit rock bottom for the past 2 weeks and avoided everyone, i cant stop binging, i really cant, and this is so important to me, but my head tells me its not as important as the binge and i just carry on eating.. i really dont know what to do and im so sick of how food is ruining my life and how it has such an inflence on everything, i just wish so much that i could have a normal relationship with food.
This is the fist time i have ever admitted this out loud but i think i need professional help but im too embarrased to go to the docs in fear they will just fob me off.. i really dont know what to do, somebody help me....