Angel's WW Diary

[AngelWings]

Okay! Here we go!

Yesterday I started my Weight Watchers program (at home-- didn't sign up at a center or online). I am using an app on my smartphone and it ROCKS! arty0011: I don't want to "plug" it since it may be against the rules here, so sorry for not naming it outright.

Anyway, I started yesterday for the first time since I was was in my late teens. As my intro post on another part of this forum stated, I became a little too OCD and obsessed with losing weight and nearly developed an eating disorder from it. I was eating about only 700 calories per day for months on end and having zero fat. This then destroyed my gallbladder and I had to have it out. Because of that, I believe, I have had digestive issues and trouble losing weight ever since. Even though it may not be *the* factor, but I think it's *a* major factor as to why I have issues with depression and anxiety.

But, that's my story and I hope to use this lil' diary area to check-in and keep myself accountable. I won't write out what I eat every day because I use my app to keep track of that, but I'd like to use this more for emotional things I may need to express or new ideas/whatever that come to mind.

Okay, if you end up reading/following this diary, thanks for the long distance moral support of sorts! Hehe!

 

[AngelWings]

So, today I woke up and I was 3.4 pounds down. I felt so happy and relieved.

I'm a little shy when it comes to writing out my starting weight. I think when I lose about half of my weight I may "open up" more about how much I weigh, but right now I like to keep it under wraps. Also, when I see what weight I'm starting at and what my goal weight is, I feel like it's so long and far away. That's why I've developed little mini goals to focus on instead.

My first mini weight loss goal is 30lbs. Normally when you have as much weight as I need to lose, 30lbs. lost is when people really start finally noticing a difference and begin commenting, "Are you losing weight?" So that's why I chose the magic number of "30."

Also, I know that it will be a quick goal to achieve (assuming I stick to the plan!) since a 1/3 of that weight is going to be water weight and stuff hanging out in my intestines most likely. (Sorry to sound gross, but I've heard your intestines can hold up to 10lbs. of fecal matter! Ew!)

So, I'm thinking March 2014 hits, I should have lost my 30lbs. But if not, that's okay too. As long as I'm losing it and keeping it off, that's all that matters. I'm not in a rush to lose weight. In the past I'd always stress myself and go, "Oh no! There is [an event] on [this date] and I need to lose [x-amount of pounds] so that I can fit into an outfit/not feel embarrassed about my body." Well, the older I have become, the more I laugh at that sort of thinking and could care less. "Take me as you see fit" and that's that. I'm not breaking my back for no one's opinion any longer. I'm taking my time and trying to develop healthy eating and exercising habits that I've been lacking all of my life, so, again, I'm not expecting change over night.

Okay, I think I've written enough here for one day. I may post here daily, I may not. I'm just using this little space for when I require a little self-motivation, really.

 

[Shez__x]

hi hun
subscribing ..
good luck!

i also dont go to meetings etc and use an app called value diary which i think is amazing!!

 

[AngelWings]

hi hun
subscribing ..
good luck!

i also dont go to meetings etc and use an app called value diary which i think is amazing!!

Thanks so much!

 

[Shez__x]

hows it going x

 

[AngelWings]

hows it going x

It's going well! Getting ready to do my exercise today. How you doing? Do you have an online journal, too, that I can sub to?

 

[Shez__x]

It's going well! Getting ready to do my exercise today. How you doing? Do you have an online journal, too, that I can sub to?

i do, its called 'This is the year'

ahh good... glad its going well
what exercise you doing? and exercise at this time im thinking more like bed!! lol

 

[AngelWings]

i do, its called 'This is the year'

ahh good... glad its going well
what exercise you doing? and exercise at this time im thinking more like bed!! lol

Right now I'm only walking 2 miles. I used to be a gym rat when I was in my 20's so "just" walking is really minimal for me. But right now, at my weight and shape, it's the only thing I can handle. I hope to add in some weights and yoga/stretching later on. I don't think I'll ever go back to the days of running, though, or doing heavy weights, but I might add biking and the elliptical in at some point down the road. I'm really not trying to kill myself getting to my goal weight. If it happens, it happens. If not, that's fine. I'm at the point in my life where I just want to feel good and not have all this excess weight on me/have better energy levels.

 

[AngelWings]

Okay, so I woke up in the middle of the night very thirsty. I feel like I'm retaining a lot of water. I could be from the Lean Cuisine meal I had yesterday in conjunction with other foods, because when I woke up to weigh myself, I was up 0.4 again. So now the weight loss is down from 3.4lbs. to just 3lbs.

And that's okay. I mean, I know the initial weight I'm losing is water. However, I'm just concerned about getting my period so early yesterday. That is another factor for the water weight fluctuation. My breasts feel tender, too, so obviously there is something hormonal shifting.

Anyway... I know I stayed within my points range yesterday and exercised, so it's not from being "bad" and cheating. So I'll just keep staying on track; it's all I can do. I'm in it for the long haul.

 

[Shez__x]

stay positive
slow and steady wins the race!!
well done for staying on track

 

[AngelWings]

stay positive
slow and steady wins the race!!
well done for staying on track

Thanks, Shez!

 

[Shez__x]

Thanks, Shez!

no problem

 

[AngelWings]

CORRECTION!:

Okay, so I decided to try weighing myself one more time because, you know, scales can be wonky sometimes. I let my body settle for an hour and tried it again. Turns out I DID lose weight! I'm down 0.8lbs. MUCH better than GAINING 0.4! Yay!

Hey, every little bit helps and keeps me encouraged. And this is especially good considering I am retaining water.

Okay, back to my day. Thanks, y'all!

 

[Razzle Dazzle]

Hi, here to follow. Good luck with your journey. x

 

[AngelWings]

Okay, so today the scale went up, even though I did really well yesterday and stuck to my eating/exercising plan. Because of this constant water weight fluctuation and hormonal/menstruation issues going on right now, I've decided that I'm only going to weigh myself once per month (on the 18th, since the 18th was the day of this month that I started my WW Points program).

It's going to take a lot of will power not to step on the scale every morning, but I see that my body is really struggling and trying to adjust to my new eating and exercise routine. I have really bad issues with my hormones (at least that's what I feel is going on), and possibly even thyroid issues now that I think about it more, so to keep stepping on the scale is going to discourage me. So I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and sticking to my plan and check in once a month. I'm not taking my measurements either, because I'd rather just go by how my clothes fit. Measurements can be distorted, too, with water retention, so the scale is good enough for me.

Anyway... back to the weird menstruation issues I'm having... I noticed that my blood was a weird color pink the past few days (it's more of a spotting, really), so I googled it and played "internet doctor" for a bit. Turns out that a pink tinge could be hormonal, as I had suspected, or due to cysts, which I am 99% positive I have, since I have them/have had them in the past on other areas of my body. Also, it could be something more serious like cancer, but I highly doubt it's that. Like I said before, my body is severely sensitive to just about everything out there, and my hormones cannot handle change well. Even when I start intense aerobic exercise (i.e. biking, running, elliptical), my hair will start to fall out. No one believes me when I tell them this, but it's true (I have a lot of hair, so people think I'm just imagining the clumps of hair that fall out I guess *insert eye roll here*). So, I'm certain I just have very screwed up hormones that affect me on a physical and emotional/mental level as well.

So hopefully within a few weeks or months time, my body will start to adjust and be more balanced and not react so harshly to the change I'm putting it through (albeit a slow change, but hey... that's just how my body reacts, I suppose). That's why I have no goal date for my weight loss. I'm in no rush. I want to do this slowly as to not to run into more problems down the road. Plus, when you lose it slowly, it tends to stay off. Will I be disappointed come February 18th when I find out I haven't lost at least 15lbs.? Yes. I won't lie. But maybe I will. Or maybe I'll lose even more. I'm just hoping that weighing myself once a month will help me to focus on how I feel more so than what number is displayed on my scale.

 

[Shez__x]

thats a good idea hun, and hopefully by the 18th ull have a big shock
just try ur best to stay on track, plan n record! x

 

[Sweet as pie]

Here to follow, good luck,

Good idea to make little goal for yourself stops you worring about the total amount you have to lose, it hard when you weight yourself every day and it goes up after a good day but it will even itself out and you are right to stop weight everyday and only do it once a week/month. if you are find it hard put the scales in your car or something so you dont have quick access to them.

 

[AngelWings]

UUUUUGGGHHHH!!!

Sorry but I need to vent.

It's very hard to stick to any program when you're having problems at home. My mate's son is a lil' hellion. He is 15 years old and is always getting suspended at school. His mom has issues of her own and me and my mate cannot take the drama that she keeps instilling into his life.

Anyway, I'm just so frustrated because I don't know how to deal with him when he comes over because he's always in a mood. Plus, he's a junk food eater, so we always have to have the cupboards stocked with junk, which is a horrible temptation for me.

So does anyone have any tips on how to not let the stress and junk food get to you? Because I could use any advice you guys and gals have right now! lol Also tips on how to survive at work when everyone is eating birthday cake/donuts and you're sitting there going, "Oh, no thanks, I'm not hungry...." (But in reality you wish everyone would look away so you could put your face into the entire box of sweets!)

 

[AngelWings]

You know what? I've been thinking...

I think it's time that I just face facts and admit how much I weigh. That way, I can hold myself accountable. I mean, how much I weigh isn't a crime, right? I mean, I started to really think about how hypocritical I have been since I'm telling everyone in threads how the person is what counts, not what the person looks like. So I'm going to update my stats to the left and update my weight loss ticker. And I'm going to stick to weighing myself once a month on the 18th and see where it goes from there. Wish me luck!

 

[AngelWings]

YAYAYAYA!!!

OKAY OKAY OKAY I couldn't help myself... I stepped on the scale since I was going to update my stats on here. I know it's just water weight, but I'm already down 11.3lbs! YAHOOHOOO!!!