Anonymous support/friends

[mollydog1308]

I'm going through a difficult time with a teenager that does not want to be at school. In 6th year (but one of youngest in year) doesn't know what she wants to do but (seems) everyone else knows their career choice, filling in UCAS forms, has uni offers etc etc. There seems to be so so so much pressure for all children to go on to further education. Is that not why we have to pay extortionate prices for plumbers, electricians etc as they are a dying breed. Very very unhappy child, whatever I suggest is wrong but i'm only trying to advise. Dont want her to resent me for saying school is best, don't want her to regret leaving cos there is no going back. She does have a good part time job but I don't want her to leave school to wait around all day for a couple of evenings a week.
Younger one has now said that they are getting a fair heap of hassle from a supposed friend who is influencing mutual friends against her. She is bright, doing well, strong and brave and certainly doesn't take any sh*t but there is still only so much she can take.
My OH works nights so leaves at half 6. Its all down to me with the family and i'm struggling big time.
Sorry, bit of a ramble but this is the umpteenth night on a row i'm tearful.

M x

 

[mollydog1308]

PS I don't have a problem with eldest not knowing what she wants to do, its a difficult time. I dont mind if she wants to be a plumber or an electrician. I don't mind if she works for Asda, M & S etc, these companies have fantastic career opportunities. I'm struggling because I can't make the decision for her, I can't make it better for her, she has to make her own decision and live with it.

M x

 

[shrinkin'violet]

Thus is a tricky one, career advice in schools is pants. I was too young at 16 to know what I wanted to do for a career and stumbled through college and onto uni doing things I didn't really want to just because I wasn't sure what else to do. Is day if she isn't sure, take a gap year and go travelling. There are some awesome tour companies that are off the beaten track but still within an organised group which is something I should have done. Then she can find herself and figure out what she wants to do x oasis is a really good company to travel with x good luck

 

[andju]

One of my children is at 6th form,he doesnt really know what he wants to do either. My daughter went to college and she did 1 year,going into the second year she hated it and said she was going to leave and get a job,I said she could leave when she had a job.It resulted in massive confrontation and she left home for a while(went to live at her boyfriends)If your daughter already has a part time job what is the rush to leave 6th form?She is gaining experience in the work place and furthering her education,this will make her more of an interest to potential future employers rather than doing just a part time job or 6th form.Why is this friend influencing people against her?It may be an idea to have a look on the learn direct website if i remember it gives you a list of courses and the careers they can lead to and earning potential,although she wouldnt need to learn through them.It would give her an idea.The long and short of it is,she needs to find something she likes doing and get someone to pay her to do it!Holiday rep,air hostess,events organiser they all seem to like these!! from this point the choices are endless.Good luck ,by the way my daughter never took any notice of me lol!!!! xx

 

[Thetrigos]

You say once she leaves there is no going back, but that's really not the case, especially at further education level. I would encourage her to realise that if she doesn't know what she wants to do, to take some time to decide, then go for it... once she has finished 6th form. I agree there is so much pressure on young adults these days to know what they want to do with their lives, and they've barely lived! If what she needs is a gap year, or a year out working, she can reapply next year, or go for an apprentiship, or her dream job, or whatever! Colleges/6th forms are so short sighted in my opinion in educating kids in their options - it's uni or nothing according to them! x