Bad day....

[RenewMe]

Was doing so well today and what do I do? I go and eat 4 'pigs in blankets' Back to the grind tomorrow
:break_diet:



I always do it... Everytime I have a weigh in regardless of it being a good or bad loss, I always end up sabotaging myself, if I have a bad loss or no loss at all, I am worse than ever and out of anger I end up eating EVERYTHING...:cry: What the hell is wrong with me? I just have to get my head around it and tell myself that I am literally throwing my money way by cheating like this.....

 

[lea01]

Hello!
I wish I had the answer and for that I apologise initially but I am mainly writing to let you know you are not alone.
Everything you have described is me too! I totally do the same and totally understand where you're coming from. Sabotage is a nasty thing and whilst people think easy to control, it so isn't...that's why we have taken this drastic diet on! I wrote a post like this only last week. I started off well. By the looks of it so have you, well done. But something takes over. I have worked out a few things on my part, tiredness, stress, hectic ness and afew difficult times thrown into the mix and that's it, I'm done. I don't know if the same for you but I can get through the day and something clicks, just like a switch and I can't stop. I hadn't weighed in for two weeks as CDC on hols. Really fell off the wagon but thankfully still lost 3lb, with only 8lb away from target, like you, didn't make any difference. Argh!
One thing I can tell you though...there's nothing wrong with you. We are all here for a reason and if I've learnt anything, the piece of advice I have is dust yourself off and try again. The longer you leave it the harder it is to. You will be ok, you will do this and this forum is here to help. be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up about it.
Good luck with the rest of your journey. We can do this!!!
take care, lea xx

 

[RenewMe]

Thanks for your response Lea

I only joined Minmins a few days ago and have started a few threads and was a bit disapointed when no one responded! I feel quite alone doing this as I have done LL before and lost 5st 1 in total and kind of enjoyed the meetings....
I have been yoyoing between 11-9.12 for a couple years of years and then after a long overdue holiday went overboard and continued and put on approx a stone in 3 weeks I lost the 1 stone in as many weeks through sheer determination after after going back to LL, but the cost was financially crippling me(!) and then once I stayed the same for a couple of weeks, I started sabotaging myself just 1 hour after the session/weigh in!!!! A habit that I have had for YEARS on every diet I have been on...

I think the problem with me is I have an extremely stressful job and it seems that there is literally NOTHING to look forward to at all at the weekends especially doing SS.... where weekends supposed to be filled with socialising and a takeout or meeting up with friends for lunch, I have literally beccome a hermit! I even try to avoid visiting my parents who can't seem to get their head round what I am doing and there place is a haven for food. I realised that as soon as I walk through their door, I head straight to the kitchen and check out what is on the stove and open up their fridge..... How awful is that?!!! Not necessarily eating anything, but the temptation was there and it made me realise that food was beginning to rule my life and now obsessed I had become (and still am) in a bad way.....

I have a dip at around 3pm and of course the weekends are the worst. I totally understand about that 'switch'. Once you have had a nibble, you just blow and think, well, 'I 've screwed up now, might as well carry on, and on and on.....before you know it one takeaway down and a chocolate bar later you're literally kicking yourself and wondering 'Was that worth it? Did I actually enjoy that?' All that hard work all week undone, plus some and to boot, money down the drain

 

[Rkmriddell]

Thanks for your response Lea

I only joined Minmins a few days ago and have started a few threads and was a bit disapointed when no one responded! I feel quite alone doing this as I have done LL before and lost 5st 1 in total and kind of enjoyed the meetings....
I have been yoyoing between 11-9.12 for a couple years of years and then after a long overdue holiday went overboard and continued and put on approx a stone in 3 weeks I lost the 1 stone in as many weeks through sheer determination after after going back to LL, but the cost was financially crippling me(!) and then once I stayed the same for a couple of weeks, I started sabotaging myself just 1 hour after the session/weigh in!!!! A habit that I have had for YEARS on every diet I have been on...

I think the problem with me is I have an extremely stressful job and it seems that there is literally NOTHING to look forward to at all at the weekends especially doing SS.... where weekends supposed to be filled with socialising and a takeout or meeting up with friends for lunch, I have literally beccome a hermit! I even try to avoid visiting my parents who can't seem to get their head round what I am doing and there place is a haven for food. I realised that as soon as I walk through their door, I head straight to the kitchen and check out what is on the stove and open up their fridge..... How awful is that?!!! Not necessarily eating anything, but the temptation was there and it made me realise that food was beginning to rule my life and now obsessed I had become (and still am) in a bad way.....

I have a dip at around 3pm and of course the weekends are the worst. I totally understand about that 'switch'. Once you have had a nibble, you just blow and think, well, 'I 've screwed up now, might as well carry on, and on and on.....before you know it one takeaway down and a chocolate bar later you're literally kicking yourself and wondering 'Was that worth it? Did I actually enjoy that?' All that hard work all week undone, plus some and to boot, money down the drain

One of the things I realised on cd last time is that I need to change my approach to food. I used it as a coping mechanism and that's why I got fat. I was an emotional eater.

I think there's two things in your post. Number one is that you too are an emotional eater. You struggle with temptation and once you've had a little bit end up eating more not because you want it but because you punish yourself.

Number two is that you associate fun with food. You mention that weekends are for takeouts etc and you have nothing to look forward to. If you don't change this now and find another way to relax then you'll end up back in the same vivacious circle. If you struggle that much have a ss+ day and go somewhere where you can have a green salad as this won't affect ketosis.

Try some ss+ days in the week too. Having that extra product or indeed a small meal might just keep you focused. But you Need to want this to be able to do it. It's very much a head game.

I hope this makes sense and doesn't come across as harsh as its not intended that way. Good luck xxx

 

[lea01]

( annoying, just wrote reply, then deleted it by accident!) you gotta just laugh!
Thats exactly why I replied to you Hun. One, because I know exactly how you feel and two, I don't want you to feel your alone. I too have posted things. Whilst the majority of the time everyone is lovely, kind, offer support and wise words, there have been times that no one has responded and I wondered why? I took it personally, which is silly as it obviously just meant at that time no one perhaps had felt that way or could relate. I got worried thinking people thought I was being negative by a certain post. Oh, I read into it all and well I shouldn't have. This diet does funny things to you.
Anyhow, i would say get on here when you can and feel free to MSG me anytime. I can go days/weeks sometimes without getting on here as so crazy but I have now thought I'm doing this diet for me. It's the one thing that's for me. Sad! Haha but decided i should set time aside to pop on here for a bit of support as I need it to stop me straying sometimes. It helps.

Can I just say well done on your weight loss so far. It seems you have had quite a journey already like me, but you weigh what my target is. I do understand though even a stone is a lot to someone and I'm even thinking of going to 9 and a half instead. I think what we are doing is....once we can see the end in sight we just think oh it's ok, I'm nearly there?
Sabotage is a mean mean thing but we CAN control this, we just need to learn how. Sorry! Wish I could tell you how, wish I knew how! But together we can do it! Is your consultant any good? Have you discussed with them? I had a good cry about this exact thing the last two weeks. Even that helps! I feel ashamed about it, like I'm weird or something.

Right, what can we do about your weekends? My recent experience has been abit all over the show as sometimes it's hard, ( and I've caved) but a few times I have thought, I want this, I want to wear my pre pregnancy clothes, I want to feel sexy again, I want to feel attractive and i think about how unhappy I was 3 stone heavier. That def keeps me going. And mostly I want to enjoy myself. So, I have been out with friends etc. haven't been out in so long because felt fat. My poor hubby ! But now I'm feeling I can I do it. I drink water, I think about I'm drinking water and that the next day I will still feel in control. I have sat there with people eating, as a test really, to myself to prove I'm stronger than ok think. Perhaps you could try the same? You may not feel like sabotage so much then as your totally missing out on everything? Worth a try? Do you have to cook for a family too? It kind of gives me a fix now, weird! Whatever helps do it!
People around us do think it's odd sometimes but people don't always understand what it feels like. My mum thought I was mad....now she's doing it with my sister!
Are you ss? Could you try ss+? Are you at work at 3? Could you try shakes at different times? Sorry, this is mega long post. Trying to think of the things that may help and sometimes hearing someone else is the same can do that?
And def wasting the money should help?
sorry it's so long. Today is a new day! Be kind to yourself xxxx

 

[lea01]

Rkmriddle you are so right. You have the best advice! I felt bad for not having it! It's about being in the right frame of mind for sure. An emotional eater is def me! Arrrrgghhh!!! Well done on your loss so far, amazing!

Reading inspirational stories on here def helps! They make you want to feel that way too!
x

 

[RenewMe]

Thanks for your responses! I know I am not alone! I know I have to dis-associate food with having fun, but in all honesty, it is!
When I mentioned I had nothing to look for forward to at the weekend apart from meeting up with a couple of friends that is it.

I have a horrendous job which is extremely stressful. I work full time (like most) and feel like I barely spend time with my family as it is! There is barely a second to unwind and meeting up with my friends ultimately ends up in an eaterie of some sorts from a restaurant for a meal to a simple coffee shop for a drink, even the cinema involves having a snack. I have literally turned into a hermit now and have to make all sorts of excuses not to go out.

The concept of this diet is so difficult for people to grasp, when you try and explain whilst friends are scanning a menu the retort is often, 'Can't you eat ANYTHING?!' or 'One won't hurt'... It is NOT the same when they are eating a delicious something while you are cradling a black coffee on the verge of a nervous breakdown and feeling like a total idiot whilst people ARE indeed having a good time socialising with food....
I know I need to look at the bigger picture, but ultimately I am mad at myself for getting myself in such a position where I lack self control. I am trying to be no so hard on myself by reminding myself how far I have come as I was nearly 15 stone at one point and have kept the bulk of it for 8 years!
I think I have never reached my goal and that is what is messing me up. I have given up on many things, i.e learning to drive, piano lessons, things I bitterly regret. It feels that if I reach at least my weight goal, the others will follow through, because on this, I can't afford all three!!!

 

[Lainey123]

Thanks for your responses! I know I am not alone! I know I have to dis-associate food with having fun, but in all honesty, it is!
When I mentioned I had nothing to look for forward to at the weekend apart from meeting up with a couple of friends that is it.

I have a horrendous job which is extremely stressful. I work full time (like most) and feel like I barely spend time with my family as it is! There is barely a second to unwind and meeting up with my friends ultimately ends up in an eaterie of some sorts from a restaurant for a meal to a simple coffee shop for a drink, even the cinema involves having a snack. I have literally turned into a hermit now and have to make all sorts of excuses not to go out.

The concept of this diet is so difficult for people to grasp, when you try and explain whilst friends are scanning a menu the retort is often, 'Can't you eat ANYTHING?!' or 'One won't hurt'... It is NOT the same when they are eating a delicious something while you are cradling a black coffee on the verge of a nervous breakdown and feeling like a total idiot whilst people ARE indeed having a good time socialising with food....
I know I need to look at the bigger picture, but ultimately I am mad at myself for getting myself in such a position where I lack self control. I am trying to be no so hard on myself by reminding myself how far I have come as I was nearly 15 stone at one point and have kept the bulk of it for 8 years!
I think I have never reached my goal and that is what is messing me up. I have given up on many things, i.e learning to drive, piano lessons, things I bitterly regret. It feels that if I reach at least my weight goal, the others will follow through, because on this, I can't afford all three!!!

Hi there and sorry for butting in ( this is my very 1st post on Minimins!)...but your post is exactly what's happening to me too.
This is my 2nd attempt on Cambridge , lost 3 stone 2 years ago and stupidly never reached my goal then so struggling to get a stone down now....

I'm the world's best starter/re-starter and for my sister in laws wedding on March 16th, I took a 2 week break- I managed to "only" put on 1 lb but I was so disheartened. I'm back on SS since and have been sticking to it 100% but I was at a family function on Saturday with tons of food there and didn't eat anything...until I got home. Then I don't know if it was the thoughts "oh poor me, I didn't enjoy the day because I couldn't eat" or " well done me, I didn't eat"- either way, I picked at crisps and yesterday picked at the kids dinner, ate chocolate, drank a latte and had a scone. The thing with me is that it's not a full on meal that I have when I break this diet, it's picking at stupid things I would never eat in the first place! I know I'm sabotaging my own weight loss, as well as spending a fortune on these products. It seems to be a two week slump where I'm feeling sorry for myself that I cave in...and I don't know how to get over this.
This week I will be away for work on Thursday and will be entertaining clients by bringing them out to dinner and I'm already panicking- should I try SS+ for that night? ( and sorry for hijacking your post RenewMe-at lest you realize you are not alone in this battle)

 

[RenewMe]

Hey Lainey

You are NOT hijacking anyones' post at all! This is what we are here for to rant and rave. We are all in it for the same reasons and think similarly too!

I never ruin things with a meal either, but I just pick and pick.... I start with good intentions, but come the weekend it goes to pot.... I start off by picking at a little protein thinking ok so I won't come out of ketosis and then I end up going for a piece of chocolate and then think sod it I might as well go the full hog picking at bad things and just ended up starting again Sun or Mon - all that hard work ALL UNDONE.
I am keeping it together by avoiding Mum and and Dad's at the weekend but we have to do a food shop in a specialist store on Sat and I am dreading that as there is a wicked onsite bakery:cry:and no doubt DD and OH will be buying something delicious whilst I salivate....:sigh:

I think it is harder for us as we are nearing goal and a lot of people may also say to you 'you don't need to lose weight etc etc' that in a way contributes to sabotage and us sabotaging ourselves to. As we know, the nearer you get to goal, the harder it is. What I can't get my head around is I am so near and yet so far so why can't I just bloody get on with it?!!:whoopass: I guess my greed outweighs my vanity xxx
Maybe you should do SS+ and go for white fish and green veg or chicken and green veg. It is going to be hard keeping to that, but it is worth it as you won't be full of regret afterwards and on a carb comedown in the morning!

Good luck and keep us posted as we are literally in the same boat with 1 stone (and a bit more I hope for me!!!) to lose. x

 

[lea01]

Hi!
Hope your having a good week. Better than last anyway. Sorry, been off line for a week or so now, annoyingly.
I wish I could come on with the answers!! Haha. I am so the same as you both....and probably so many others. That is exactly what the past week has consisted of for me. It's driving me insane. I think about it day and night at the mo, yet cannot seem to bloody shake myself out of it...arrgghh!!! I know you understand me when I say that. Both your above posts I totally relate to. When I started this diet my target date to get to target is next weekend when we have a party. I was half a stone away last week then this week has gone soooo bad. A stressful week and that's it, mucks it up. All good intentions and by the end of the day I've picked so much a healthy tea doesn't even appeal as so full from picking. I could literally tie my hands and sew my mouth together. I initially thought, ok so I've had a week off, get back to it. Then I realised my maternity pay has ended, can't afford to do it anymore so have to now stop. Am switching to slimming world now which I have always done. Back to gym and praying I can get back on track.
So guess I wanted to say good luck to you also. Will keep having a gander to see how your doing and really hope you can get to where you want also. I'm sure you will. It's the last bit that's always the worst isn't it.

Good luck and be kind to yourselves. We're only human I guess. :bighug:
Xx

 

[Lainey123]

Hi!
Hope your having a good week. Better than last anyway. Sorry, been off line for a week or so now, annoyingly.
I wish I could come on with the answers!! Haha. I am so the same as you both....and probably so many others. That is exactly what the past week has consisted of for me. It's driving me insane. I think about it day and night at the mo, yet cannot seem to bloody shake myself out of it...arrgghh!!! I know you understand me when I say that. Both your above posts I totally relate to. When I started this diet my target date to get to target is next weekend when we have a party. I was half a stone away last week then this week has gone soooo bad. A stressful week and that's it, mucks it up. All good intentions and by the end of the day I've picked so much a healthy tea doesn't even appeal as so full from picking. I could literally tie my hands and sew my mouth together. I initially thought, ok so I've had a week off, get back to it. Then I realised my maternity pay has ended, can't afford to do it anymore so have to now stop. Am switching to slimming world now which I have always done. Back to gym and praying I can get back on track.
So guess I wanted to say good luck to you also. Will keep having a gander to see how your doing and really hope you can get to where you want also. I'm sure you will. It's the last bit that's always the worst isn't it.

Good luck and be kind to yourselves. We're only human I guess. :bighug:
Xx

Hi Ladies,

Thank you so much for the replies and the continuing support.
I've had an ok week- as explained I had a planned off meal on Thursday...which turned into an off plan day.... which led to another off plan day...grrrrrrr. I am so motivated during the week( did I mention I work in catering!!!) but the weekends are becoming a nightmare.

I've just counted my CD products and I have enough for 2 weeks ( which shows how many off plan days I've had since I started ) and I'm trying to decide whether to face the music and get weighed this Thursday or use up my products and go back to my consultant in 2 weeks time.TBH I can't afford to keep doing this diet, either financially or for my sanity.Wouldn't you think that would motivate me?????
Would love some advice on how to get outta this vicious circle I'm in?
Should I just sew my lips together

 

[Charlie Woo Woo]

Awwww no stay away from the needle and thread lol!
Well the only advicd I can give is to really decide if you want to do this diet and if you think you can honestly get back on it. Think about how far you have come and how loosing weight would make you feel. I know its hard but there was a reason why you started this in the first place!
I hope you come to a decision and if doung the CD is too expensive then there are other VLCD available which are cheaper- have a look at tfe other catagories in foid replacement section
I think you should dust yourself down... go see your CDC and face up to whats done and IF its as bad as you expect then compare how that makes you feel compared to how it'd feel loosing each week. Summers coming and you want to feel goid dont you? You can do this hun but good luck to you in whatever you decide and we are all here if you decide to carry on... or that this isnt right for you at the moment! Xx