Baked beans and a red face

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by charlottegrace1, 2 July 2009 Social URL.

  1. charlottegrace1

    charlottegrace1 Gold Member

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    Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.

    One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

    Shortly after that they were married.

    A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him.

    Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings ofbaked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

    His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peak.

    At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.

    He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIIPPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

    While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in.

    Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

    To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.
     
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  3. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    pmsl

    that was brilliant
     
  4. squiddie

    squiddie Starting Again!

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    Oh that was quality! I thought it was going to say she made beans for tea, but that ending was much better! :D
     
  5. kelly_333_333

    kelly_333_333 Kelly Manton

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    Hehe! That gave me a giggle, thank you :)
     
  6. b_n_3003

    b_n_3003 Silver Member

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    cool :-D
     
  7. amber26

    amber26 Full Member

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    Pmsl that was great :D:eek:
     
  8. margaretmc

    margaretmc Gold Member

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    Very good . Take care .
    Margaret xx
     
  9. Donnie46

    Donnie46 Slow but sure....

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    LOL......very good,
     
  10. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    My thoughts too as I was reading this.
    Hilarious!!!
     
  11. Lady Mhoram

    Lady Mhoram Full Member

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    LOL. That would be awful!!

    I also thought it would be that she had made him more beans!
     
  12. scobbiemum

    scobbiemum Member

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    :eek:lol! Great minds think alike re the beans for tea!:rolleyes:
     
  13. ConfusedGirl

    ConfusedGirl Full Member

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    Haha that was so funny! I also thought she had made him more beans lmao!
     
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