silhouettes
Silver Member
I have always been one of those people that was brought up to go out of my way for other people even if it really put myself out. If i was upset or angry at someone i would never tell them as it might upset them and make them not like me. I internalised all of my feelings and used food. The feelings actually gave a physical response to my stomach, it ties itself in knots and makes me feel sick. Not just a little bit but the 'waking up in the middle of the night thinking the world is ending type stomach churning feeling'.
I have started to become more assertive and if i am not happy with something then i voice it and try and deal with the issue itself. This is very difficult for me as i absolutely hate confrontation and have spent the last 30 years (all my life) avoiding it where ever possible.
The problem i am having is that other people can not cope with this change in me. They think i am being rude. Now i hasten to add im not shouting at people or having huge tantrums but stating the problem or checking why work that i have set has not even been attempted by the supply teacher at school etc. These are the people who do exactly the same themselves and dont blink if anyone else does it either, but they cant cope with the fact that i am now standing up for myself rather than letting myself be walked all over.
I then feel really bad that i am becoming a 'rude' person and while i know that logically i am not, it still makes me feel awful and then that horrid stomach feeling returns again.
This happened to me yesterday and i am still really upset about the situation. I am left feeling dreadful and beating myself up about it, but at the same time i know i was in the right to be more assertive. Has anyone else had difficulties in standing up for themselves or is it just me?
I have started to become more assertive and if i am not happy with something then i voice it and try and deal with the issue itself. This is very difficult for me as i absolutely hate confrontation and have spent the last 30 years (all my life) avoiding it where ever possible.
The problem i am having is that other people can not cope with this change in me. They think i am being rude. Now i hasten to add im not shouting at people or having huge tantrums but stating the problem or checking why work that i have set has not even been attempted by the supply teacher at school etc. These are the people who do exactly the same themselves and dont blink if anyone else does it either, but they cant cope with the fact that i am now standing up for myself rather than letting myself be walked all over.
I then feel really bad that i am becoming a 'rude' person and while i know that logically i am not, it still makes me feel awful and then that horrid stomach feeling returns again.
This happened to me yesterday and i am still really upset about the situation. I am left feeling dreadful and beating myself up about it, but at the same time i know i was in the right to be more assertive. Has anyone else had difficulties in standing up for themselves or is it just me?