Dear Slim and Elegant, 
Saying that you hate to be fat does not make it go away.  Quite on the contrary, your feelings could be a real barrier to change.  Hating your appearance could make it very difficult to act in your own best interest.  I think it would be better to be gentle and compassionate with yourself and love yourself just the way you are.  Then allow change to happen by nurturing yourself with a good dose of forgiveness and kindness for yourself.  I wish you all the very best.