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Binge Binge Binge

wackyjacobeany

more sweaty than betty
#1
Help... I cant stop binge eating. I mean its serious, not just a few biscuits but packetfulls. And whole cadburys buttons share packs to myself. I have also stuffed down a whole bag of funsize milkyways. I do it secret. I am really ashamed of myself. I have never told this to anybody before. I feel disgusted with myself but know I will do the same again tomorrow. I cant help it. Its out of control.
 
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#2
How incredibly brave of you to admit it. Well done. The hardest part is over with, admitting to having a problem with something is an incredibly difficult thing to do and finally getting it out there can often be less painful than the fear of what might happen if you do. Which is why so many people let their issues go on for so long without getting help.

Is there something that particularly triggers a binge with you? Are you lonely, bored, feeling down and depressed, under stress? If you can identify where your triggers lie, you can start to get them under control, and divert yourself when they occur.

If you have never spoken to anyone about this, can I suggest that you summon up that same courage you used to post this here, and take this information and share it with your GP? You may find that some cognitive behavioural therapy would be very useful - it teaches you the techniques of how to break cycles of behaviour, and sounds like it would be perfect for someone in your situation.

Make a list of all the things that are important to you. Make a list of reasons why you want to change things. Keep those lists close to you and when you feel like you want to binge, read over those lists and think hard about whether the binge is really going to fill that emotional hole, or if it is going to make you feel worse.

Bingeing is a short term quick fix release, and is just another stage in a very self-destructive cycle. As far as I am aware none of us here are psychologists or counsellors, so we can only support you to support yourself, and I feel perhaps you do need some proper medical support in order to get yourself sorted out.

You are doing so well, look at how much you lost already - you know HOW to lose weight, but now you need to learn how not to give yourself permission to self-sabotage.

Hugs, and keep talking, the more you talk, the more relieved you will be of your burdens. We are all friends here, you need not fear criticism or judgement from anyone.
 

wackyjacobeany

more sweaty than betty
#3
Thank you for your reply. I think you hit the nail on the head there when you said "you need to learn how not to give yourself permission to self-sabotage". I just dont know what makes me do it. I have been doing this since I was a child. It is a vicious circle the more I do it the worse I feel then you need a boast so you do it again. I had a quiet word with my consultant tonight. She is now aware of my problem and is going to monitor the situation as well. She has given me a food diary to complete for next week.

I feel really sad that it has got to this stage again. I was doing so well. I dont seem to manage things in moderation. I am definitley an all or nothing kind of person when it comes to treats. In the long run SW will only work for me if i dont have any sweet treats. I cant risk ruining everything again just for a CHOCCIE fix. Sorry if I am rambling. Thanks for listening.
 

-Tally-

Silver Member
#4
My therapist said that I use food and binging as a way of suppressing needs and emotions that I've stopped myself feeling. I think that's a pretty accurate statement. On top of that I used food as a treat to cheer myself up when I was bored or tired or fed up or angry...
 

MrsBabyCakes

Naughty Fridge Picker
#5
TheMissus said:
My therapist said that I use food and binging as a way of suppressing needs and emotions that I've stopped myself feeling. .
I find that to be a very valid statement. I am definitely an emotional eater, I eat to be happy, I eat not to be angry, I eat to hide disappointment, I eat to stop myself thinking about all the rubbish going on in my head. It makes me miserable.

I am more than aware that eating to that level (and I have binged myself into am eating clinic), so I relate to the OP. Is nothing more than a ridiculous vicious circle, that i have put myself in to.

I have the power to break that cycle bur I have to deal with the issues that got me there in the first place. It's all baby steps, it's never going to happen overnight, and were human at the end of the day. So I just take each day as it comes, try not to put too much pressure on myself, and try to deal with each diet crisis as it happens.

Good luck OP xx

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#6
Oh sweetheart I know exactly how you feel. You feel stuck and powerless and disgusted with yourself. *hug*

I know that when I used to binge (and I'm not ruling out doing it again because it's part of who I am) it was because I was not feeling emotions that I was ashamed of or guilty about or that were too hard to feel. I was a master at playing nice.

The more therapy I had, the less I binged. I recently had pessotherapy which is all about acknowledging emotions and I've not had a proper binge since I started it. Yes I still eat too much coz old habits die hard. But the sort of binges where I could eat the foods and amounts that you describe got less and less frequent the more I went through all the rubbish in my head. And once I learned that *I* have the power to change me and that it's OKAY to change, it seemed to get a lot easier.

Geneen Roth's books helped a LOT. They didn't cure me, but they helped me understand my relationship with food a whole lot better, and gave me back some power over it.

Talk to your GP. Telll them what you told us, and stomp your feet and nag if you have to until they help you get some help.
 
#7
You are not alone. There are (believe it or not) lots of people out there with the same issues around food. It's just you don't necessarily meet them on the street, and if you did, they probably wouldn't admit it to you.

I have binged for years. My weight has fluctuated from a size 10 to a size 32 depending on how in or out of control I have been. I weighed roughly the same this Christmas as I did last - but unlike most people I gained and lost 4 stone in the 12 months in between!! Some people will confess they have been soooo naughty and have eaten 2 or 3 biscuits... I could eat 2 or 3 packets and still eat more! Most is done in secret - even my husband doesn't know what I eat, although he obviously notices the results when I put on weight.

I wish I was one of those that is put off eating by emotion, but every form of emotion (stress, depression, excitement, worry, happiness, sadness etc etc) sends me to the fridge! I don't deal well with it, so eating is a way of supressing it - unfortunately then you end up feeling depressed, disgusted and guilty at overeating that you end up binging again, and so the cycle continues.

After years of yo-yoing I have sought help from my GP and am currently seeing a Counseller type lady which is helping. I have to say that I am finding SW quite liberating as well, because it is the most un-diet like diet I have found. We were told to stop trying to lose weight, but I have kept on with SW because I don't feel I am restricting my eating too much because of the free foods - as soon as I start counting calories or points I start panicing that I am going to run out!

The book that was recommended to me was Overcoming Binge Eating by Christopher Fairburn. There is help out there, and don't feel disgusted with yourself.
 

wackyjacobeany

more sweaty than betty
#8
Wow, thanks everyone for all your constructive help, both on the forum and by private messaging. I have managed to not buy any more rubbish today by not taking my purse out with me when I went to work. So that worked as I couldnt buy anything. I have been eating Belvita breakfast biscuits. I know they have sins but it is less of the two evils. I wont buy anymore when they are finished. I have decided that I will not buy any crap this week when I do my shopping whether it be for me or the rest of the family. I must avoid the temptation completley.

I cant afford to keep sabbotaging myself.

I definitley feel like standing up and saying "I am an addict, a food addict", a bit like I imagine what they do at alcoholic anon. It is the first stage of admitting that you have a problem.

Thanks again everyone.
 
#10
You know what your far braver than most of us, I used to do exactly what you do....and to a lesser extent still do it now you will learn how to control this maybe not totally but as your weightloss journey progresses you will feel better in yourself and your need to binge should lessen....unfortunatly like a lot of us it is a part of you and will never probably totally dissapear, but as long as you can control it then I wouldnt worry to much x
 

wackyjacobeany

more sweaty than betty
#11
Hi,
Once I get my head aroung this situation, my mind will lock out all the bingeing and enable me to carry on with my slimming world journey. The hard bit is getting to that point. I managed to do it last year when I started slimming world, but lost the plot along the way again. Maybe (hopeing) as i get smaller then the urge to do this will lessen.
 
#12
Can completely relate to that. Once I'm in the "zone" I can completely forget about my food addictions but once I let my guard down and just start off having one bag of crisps a week, then a big bag on weigh in day, then the odd takeaway as a treat...before you know it I'm full on binging every day and it could be 18 months before I think about dieting again.

This time I'm just not playing ball. I refuse to, lol. No crisps, no chocolate and no takeaways...am just not going there because I know if I do then I won't be able to stop. Crisps especially are my "DOC" (drug of choice) and one packet is a slippery slope to 10.

If I have urges or a little craving I come on here and look through the inspiration gallery or the before and after pics forum...seems to get me back on track.

I like this quote I found on a blog belonging to a member here, I find it very applicable and have pasted it on to my desktop to remind me.

I constantly have to remind myself that what I am doing is only a path to everything else I want to do. It is easy to become overwhelmed at the task at hand. Not just the weight loss/eating right/walking, but the desire to lead a normal life again – to be confident, to meet new people, to socialise and to rediscover past interests, find new ones and lead a full life. In order to do any of that I have to reach a point of stability which is still a speck in the distance. This is what I struggle with every day and I find it hard to see how will realise all of those things that I want back.
 
#13
What worked for me was starting off by just telling myself I could have a binge if I needed to, but stick to free foods - I know it's not how you are supposed to do it, but giving myself "permission" lessened the grip food had on me, and I could tell myself that I was on plan, and eventually the need to binge got less because I didn't feel the need. It didn't take long either.
 

wackyjacobeany

more sweaty than betty
#14
Hi, yes I must admit to something similar, I have been overeating on fromage frais. But, at least its free food.
 


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