bit of a controversial topic ...

Discussion in 'General Weight Loss Discussion' started by Lou1973, 5 November 2009 Social URL.

  1. Lou1973

    Lou1973 Silver Member

    Goal Weight:
    ... and I don't want to negatively impact anyones motivation but there are a lot of people on this site who are restarters or who lost weight and put it all (or some) back on again and are here for another go etc etc

    Nothing wrong with that (I'm one) but I do wonder what we learn from this constant yo yoing - everytime I tell myself next time it'll be different and I'll get to goal and stay there and every time I don't manage it.

    On a positive note the point that I take myself in hand and get back to dieting has got lower each time so I first dieted at 16st something - got down to 12st, went back up to mid 15st - got down to 11st 7 went back up to 15st - got down to 10st, went back up to 13 st - got down to 10st 10, went back up to 12st and am now half way through my journey back to 10st.

    By the time I finish this time I'll have lost over 16 stone when you combine all my efforts (and this excludes the many diets I've been on for a couple of weeks lost half a stone put it back on again etc).

    So I can tell myself this time it'll be different and I'll keep the weight off but the sad truth is unless I do something different from all the other times I've been at the end of a big weight loss journey it's not going to happen.

    Trouble is i don't know what this something different is. So far I've tried

    1) refusing to buy bigger clothes - but it's amazing how I can justify to myself that it's OK that I only have one outfit that fits me properly and it takes about a stone and a half gain before my clothes really start to feel like a problem
    2) asking people to tell me if I look like I've put on weight but people are just too kind and don't want to hurt your feelings
    3) telling myself that if I reach x weight ever again on the scales I'll do something about it - but I don't it's not enough of a motivation - in my mind I decide it's just a number
    4) having a tummy tuck and believing I'll never want to ruin what is now a fab flat tummy but the fact is even at 12st I still had a flat tummy it's just my waist that got wider
    5) eating healthily at home and only enjoying treats when I'm out - but I have a very active social life and am out a lot!!
    6) telling myself I'll never have to diet again can have whatever I want but in moderation - works until the scales hit 7lb over my finish weight then i panic decide I need to diet so I'd better enjoy the next week before I have to start restricting myself put on weight during that run up week don't manage to stick to the diet and now I'm 10lb over my finish weight - vicoius circles starts.
    7) forgot to add exercising 5 times a week - sort of combines with point 6 above works fine whilst I'm within view of my finish weight but the motivation disappears the more weight I put on to the point that the time I most need it (when my weight is on the upwards curve) is the very time I don't do it

    So what the heck is going to be the something different this time?

    I've been reading up on a diet called JUDDD where you restrict your calories every other day and on the up day you can eat whatever you want - am planning on trying this to maintain my weight in the hope that one day watching my calorie intake three times a week might be manageable long term and help me to stabalise my weight.

    Has anyone else got any ideas? Would love to hear from others what their something different is this time

    Last edited: 5 November 2009
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  3. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    Good subject :)

    I yoyo'd for so many years that I was ready to sell myself to the local toy shop :D

    This time I's going to be different when I get to goal. Completely different. And yes, it meant completely changing my way of thinking. After all, I kept doing the same thing, and kept getting the same result. It suddenly dawned on me that rather than do the same thing but try and get it right, I could perhaps do it completely differently. Follow a different map.

    so far so good :clap: No yoyoing for 4.5 years (well maybe within 4lbs either way for body fluctuations and all that) No dieting either.

    Be back in a mo :)
  4. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    I often use the analogy of a wall.

    Think of the wall being food. We spend years throwing ourselves against the wall, getting damaged and repairing the wounds.

    Then when all is better, we try to work out how to repair the damage when we throw ourselves against the wall next time.

    What is the best way to repair that damage when it happens again? People swear by many different types of 'relief'. Plasters, different types of creams etc.

    In the dieting world, we think of doing various diets, Traditional. VLCDs, avoiding food, dieting during the week, with weekends off.

    What does a normal eater do? None of those.

    Getting back to the wall again. A normal person would be able to walk past that wall without throwing themselves against it. They could even look at the wall, or touch it. The wall isn't an issue for them. They aren't thinking about how to repair damage or even stopping themselves, they just don't see the wall as being a problem.

    Our difficulties are that we do see food as the problem. Of course, there's no problem with food ;) Our relationship with food stinks though.

    Imagine, just imagine for one moment that you are that person who doesn't have a bad relationship with food. Could you learn to be 'one of them'?

    If you change your relationship with food, and follow the normal eaters, you'll see that there's no need to diet. Not even a need to control your weight. The weight is just a side effect of the problem, and this is where people really get unstuck, because they focus too much on the actual food, and the weight, and forget that it's not really the issue.

    Hope that makes sense to you.
    XlosingitX likes this.
  5. XlosingitX

    XlosingitX Gold Member

    amazing post kd
  6. assj

    assj Silver Member

    Start Weight:
    Current Weight:
    Goal Weight:
    Healthy lifestyle
    fantastic post kd, i am a long way from maintenance, but will certainly revisit this post a few times along my way.
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