Blonde Logic's Stream of Consciousness/Diary
- Thread starter Blonde Logic
- Start date
mikey
Silver Member
It is amazing how much salad you can eat with just vinegar and black pepper to pep it up. I absolutely love chinese leaf as it has some real body and bite to it rather than plain lettuce.
A favourite is to "fry" chicken breast in spices (cumin seed, coriander, garlic, ginger etc.) and chillis and then serve it on a chinese leaf and cucumber salad with a dressing chilli sauce/ tabasco mixed with cider vinegar and a bit of salt and pepper.
Lots of goodness and very few kcals - virtually zero carbs too so keeps the hunger pangs and cravings away too!
hmmm thats sound lovely! I just had a chicken salad the other day with vinegar and pepper - I couldn't believe the amount I could eat! It was so much more than normal - and it sounds silly to say, but if I feel I need a good lot of food to fill me up I'm definitely going to have a salad!
It sounds silly to say, because usually if I was extra hungry a salad would be the last thing I chose. not any more!
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Just want this event recorded in my diary.....
Hi everyone. Thanks so much for all your repsonses, support and sympathy. This has been really hard on me, I must admit. I miss my girl so so much. She was incredibly special, and meant so much to me, for so many different reasons - I just feel like a small piece of me is missing.
I will tell you a few things about Vince. It may be long, and I hope it doesn't bore. But sometimes, uniquely special animals come into our lives, and she was one of those.
I had just managed, after 1.5 years of staging my "get-a-way" from my bi-polar boyfriend, it was Christmas time, and I had just picked up the keys to my new house. MY house. Alone, at last. Not feeling entirely safe, from the ex, but alone at last. It was a small victorian house, large rooms, hardwood floor, a fire place, and what we call "fibber magee" closets - lots of little closets and nooks and crannys all around. Was wonderful. Tall cielings, a covered porch with vines and hydrangea surronding it, blocked from the road by a tall hedge. It was heaven.
It was also empty, as it was another 2 weeks before I was actually moving my furniture in. But every night after work, I drove up the mountain to my little town, and sat on the floor of my empty house, with my 12-inch tall torquoise-tinsel tree with little blue fairie lites and made a small fire, and listened to the soundtrack from "Don Juan DeMarco" thinking that every man should be made to listen to, hear, and understand "When You Love A Women" cause none of the ones I'd met did!!!!
It was a sad time.
And one day, sat there alone, near christmas, missing my family and my life - in strolled Vince. She pushed the door open and waltzed right in, straight up to me, looked up and mewwed and did her little chirp, and sat down beside me.
It turned out she used to live in that house, as I found out 3 weeks later when an angry women banged on my door and said "Thats my cat on your porch! You have MY cat!!" I told her I relieved someone found her as I did not know who she belonged to, but that she stops in there every evening for about an hour or two. I never fed her - I believed she belonged to someone, Ijust enjoyed her company. So, the women took her, after i advised her if she ever was missing, she could count on finding her there.
A month or so passed, and one day, after I was settled in, guess who came back??
I expected her owners anytime now. Then anyday now. Then realised, they were not coming back for her. So, I welcomed her with open arms, and from that day on she was my cat. She came along when I really needed her, so I knew she was special.
Then - when I was getting ready to move over here, a year or two later, I had a yard sale. My hubby was outside dealing with stuff when the owner pulled up and said she noticed I was moving. He said, "Yah. And?" Well, she wondered what was going to happen with "Penelope"? OH told her "Vincent" was going to get an English Accent, as she was moving across the pond.... The woman started to kick up, and he continued his sentence, .....with Jan, because she is JAN's cat.
Well, before she left she told him a little story about Vince.
Vince had had a litter of four kittens in that house. She made the sad mistake of moving the little kittens behind the refrigerator, and when her people got home, and discovered this, one of the kittens had died. Vincent was distraught, and got very depressed. Bless her - she is , was, such a loving cat. Anyway, one evening, she went outside. Out in the backyard, there was a little pear orchard. There were some fallen pears on the ground. Vince carried one up, for each of the kittens, and then placed a fourth in the bed, on it's own - for the little lost one. So, that tells you about Vince, and her amazing heart.
And one other interesting little bit of interest, in our minds, Vincent had the longest whiskers in the world. Really!
We were always commenting on her beautiful whiskers - they were soooo long and graceful. Anyway, one night we were watching TV, and something was on about the Guinnes Book of World Records - and they were measuring a cat - the new winner of the claim. So we got out a tape measurer, and measured Vince's and they were a clear 1/2 inch longer! She lost one one day, probably in a kerfuffle with Monet, my siamese. That was a few years ago. We still have that whisker, in exactly the same place we put it that night - righton the mantle/hearth. And everytime I dust, I carefully move it, dust, and put it back.
The hardest thing I am coping with now, is that Vincent died, frightened, and in pain - with me in the room, but not coming to her rescue - not even able to touch her. That just breaks my heart. She died scared. It is not supposed to be like that, and it really hurts.
I am really angry, it was all done so FAST, after we had such a long slow wait - they just gave us no time to prepare, or stroke or say goodbye properly. It was just - - over. In a blink. Almost a panic. I don;t understand why it had to be that way. I never will.
So - I am feeling better in some ways, as I settle into life without her. Butin other ways, it gets harder.
WOW. I guess I needed to "talk". If anyone made it this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read.
Whoever says, "They are just pets", simply do not understand pets. She was family.
Cheers guys...
xxxxx
Hi everyone. Thanks so much for all your repsonses, support and sympathy. This has been really hard on me, I must admit. I miss my girl so so much. She was incredibly special, and meant so much to me, for so many different reasons - I just feel like a small piece of me is missing.
I will tell you a few things about Vince. It may be long, and I hope it doesn't bore. But sometimes, uniquely special animals come into our lives, and she was one of those.
I had just managed, after 1.5 years of staging my "get-a-way" from my bi-polar boyfriend, it was Christmas time, and I had just picked up the keys to my new house. MY house. Alone, at last. Not feeling entirely safe, from the ex, but alone at last. It was a small victorian house, large rooms, hardwood floor, a fire place, and what we call "fibber magee" closets - lots of little closets and nooks and crannys all around. Was wonderful. Tall cielings, a covered porch with vines and hydrangea surronding it, blocked from the road by a tall hedge. It was heaven.
It was also empty, as it was another 2 weeks before I was actually moving my furniture in. But every night after work, I drove up the mountain to my little town, and sat on the floor of my empty house, with my 12-inch tall torquoise-tinsel tree with little blue fairie lites and made a small fire, and listened to the soundtrack from "Don Juan DeMarco" thinking that every man should be made to listen to, hear, and understand "When You Love A Women" cause none of the ones I'd met did!!!!
It was a sad time.
And one day, sat there alone, near christmas, missing my family and my life - in strolled Vince. She pushed the door open and waltzed right in, straight up to me, looked up and mewwed and did her little chirp, and sat down beside me.
It turned out she used to live in that house, as I found out 3 weeks later when an angry women banged on my door and said "Thats my cat on your porch! You have MY cat!!" I told her I relieved someone found her as I did not know who she belonged to, but that she stops in there every evening for about an hour or two. I never fed her - I believed she belonged to someone, Ijust enjoyed her company. So, the women took her, after i advised her if she ever was missing, she could count on finding her there.
A month or so passed, and one day, after I was settled in, guess who came back??
I expected her owners anytime now. Then anyday now. Then realised, they were not coming back for her. So, I welcomed her with open arms, and from that day on she was my cat. She came along when I really needed her, so I knew she was special.
Then - when I was getting ready to move over here, a year or two later, I had a yard sale. My hubby was outside dealing with stuff when the owner pulled up and said she noticed I was moving. He said, "Yah. And?" Well, she wondered what was going to happen with "Penelope"? OH told her "Vincent" was going to get an English Accent, as she was moving across the pond.... The woman started to kick up, and he continued his sentence, .....with Jan, because she is JAN's cat.
Well, before she left she told him a little story about Vince.
Vince had had a litter of four kittens in that house. She made the sad mistake of moving the little kittens behind the refrigerator, and when her people got home, and discovered this, one of the kittens had died. Vincent was distraught, and got very depressed. Bless her - she is , was
, such a loving cat. Anyway, one evening, she went outside. Out in the backyard, there was a little pear orchard. There were some fallen pears on the ground. Vince carried one up, for each of the kittens, and then placed a fourth in the bed, on it's own - for the little lost one. So, that tells you about Vince, and her amazing heart.And one other interesting little bit of interest, in our minds, Vincent had the longest whiskers in the world. Really!
We were always commenting on her beautiful whiskers - they were soooo long and graceful. Anyway, one night we were watching TV, and something was on about the Guinnes Book of World Records - and they were measuring a cat - the new winner of the claim. So we got out a tape measurer, and measured Vince's and they were a clear 1/2 inch longer! She lost one one day, probably in a kerfuffle with Monet, my siamese. That was a few years ago. We still have that whisker, in exactly the same place we put it that night - righton the mantle/hearth. And everytime I dust, I carefully move it, dust, and put it back.
The hardest thing I am coping with now, is that Vincent died, frightened, and in pain - with me in the room, but not coming to her rescue - not even able to touch her. That just breaks my heart. She died scared. It is not supposed to be like that, and it really hurts.
I am really angry, it was all done so FAST, after we had such a long slow wait - they just gave us no time to prepare, or stroke or say goodbye properly. It was just - - over. In a blink. Almost a panic. I don;t understand why it had to be that way. I never will.
So - I am feeling better in some ways, as I settle into life without her. Butin other ways, it gets harder.
WOW. I guess I needed to "talk". If anyone made it this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read.
Whoever says, "They are just pets", simply do not understand pets. She was family.
Cheers guys...
xxxxx
mommyB
love it
yes i made it to the end of your post tho the last bit i couldnt read properly thru the tears. I feel you pain, i know that was not the end you would have wanted for her, no one would, But as well as that it has bought back to me when I had to have my Rosie put to sleep, it was not like your experience, it was peaceful and i was able to stroke her as she drifted off, but is still miss her and regret the times i didnt make time for her. She was never a really social cat and i guess when the girls came along i didnt always make or have time for her. But tho i gave her a peaceful end i cant go back and change things.
Sorry to turn this into being about me, but you have bought it all back to me.
Hold onto your good memories of Vincent, treasure that whisker, and know that she is at peace now. Everytime i stroke Nina i think of Rosie, and tonight i will be thinking of Vincent too-she is probably in Heaven and Rosie is growling at her !
Sorry to turn this into being about me, but you have bought it all back to me.
Hold onto your good memories of Vincent, treasure that whisker, and know that she is at peace now. Everytime i stroke Nina i think of Rosie, and tonight i will be thinking of Vincent too-she is probably in Heaven and Rosie is growling at her !
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Awww MB <<<<hugs>>> Sorry to bring it back, but if you are like me it doesn;t take much with our pets, ay?
Is that Rosie, in your sig? She's the spitting image of our Merlin, who we lost last year.
<<<hugs.>>
x
Is that Rosie, in your sig? She's the spitting image of our Merlin, who we lost last year.
<<<hugs.>>
x
slendablenda
Gold Member
So...................
Vincent really was the cats' whiskers!
I'm so sorry you didn't have the chance to
help her feel calm and peace, but she knew how much you loved her and were there for her always.
Did she ever get the English accent? xxx
Vincent really was the cats' whiskers!
I'm so sorry you didn't have the chance to
help her feel calm and peace, but she knew how much you loved her and were there for her always.
Did she ever get the English accent? xxx
Last edited:
mommyB
love it
No it doesnt take much, i wouldnt have pets if i didnt love them as one of the family.
Thats actually our current little darling nina, in my signature ,Rosie was a tabby
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
SB - she did get an accent. She no longer said MeOW, she said, MeUW.
THanks everyone. She was lovely. I still expect her at my feet in the morning for brekkie.
THanks everyone. She was lovely. I still expect her at my feet in the morning for brekkie.
Carolanski
Back to it!
So sorry to hear about your loss BL. I don't know what it is about cats that affects us so deeply - their personality, uniqueness and sensitivity.
I have always loved cats but didn't get my first until about 5 years ago - now I can't imagine how I lived for 33 years without one!
Eddie was a 7 week old black scrap of a thing when we got him and grew to be a quick-witted feisty free-spirited boy - which unfortunately was his undoing. Just before his first birthday he went missing, and after walking the streets for days and posting notes through every door in the village, we had a call. When we went to pick him up it was heartbreaking, he was unrecogisable and we had to take him to the vets to check his microchip just to be sure. Knowing we weren't there when he went was awful, and thinking he may have been scared and in pain made it worse.
Every morning in bed I expected the familiar weight on my chest as he jumped up to lick my nose and remind me it was breakfast time - and even now 4 years on I still sometimes think I see a flash of black fur out of the corner of my eye - so maybe he's still here checking up on me and being as nosy as ever.
Vince will probably be the same - looking out for you like she always has.
It will always be hard - but will get easier and you will also always have your special memories.
My deepest condolences
Carol x
sunshine1
Full Member
A huge thank you is in order methinks oh and a huge hug :hug99:
I have seen you post on many posts on the forum and always give encouraging words. You seemed to know your stuff lol
Thought i need to have a look at your diary to see how you managed to get to where you are.
Where do i start, you captivated me from start to finish.
Your car analogy made so much sense, made me smile.
Sobbed for ages reading about your heart to heart with your mother. I am kinda in that place you were before opening up.
Sobbed even harder when you had a heart to heart with your OH.
I don't think i will ever be able to tell mine what has happened in my past and how i feel.
Amazed that you have maintained, not that i know you but everyone i have spoken to about this diet just say "it will all go back on once you start eating again" So a big pat on the back girl
Not sure why but after reading this thread, i feel so proud of you for achieving all that you have.....am i just a weirdo, after all i don't even know you.
Anyhoo, just wanted to thank you for opening your heart and giving me a bit of a boost.
Wishing you every happiness in your life.
It is my time now
I have seen you post on many posts on the forum and always give encouraging words. You seemed to know your stuff lol
Thought i need to have a look at your diary to see how you managed to get to where you are.
Where do i start, you captivated me from start to finish.
Your car analogy made so much sense, made me smile.
Sobbed for ages reading about your heart to heart with your mother. I am kinda in that place you were before opening up.
Sobbed even harder when you had a heart to heart with your OH.
I don't think i will ever be able to tell mine what has happened in my past and how i feel.
Amazed that you have maintained, not that i know you but everyone i have spoken to about this diet just say "it will all go back on once you start eating again" So a big pat on the back girl
Not sure why but after reading this thread, i feel so proud of you for achieving all that you have.....am i just a weirdo, after all i don't even know you.
Anyhoo, just wanted to thank you for opening your heart and giving me a bit of a boost.
Wishing you every happiness in your life.
It is my time now
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Sunshine - thank you so much for your really wonderful comments. ANd for making your way through my diary. I can go on. And on. And oooooooooooon sometimes. SO well done you.
It is always warming to know I have touched someone. It always serves to remind, that in the big old world, we are never a lone, and never really that far away from someone who really would understand.
This diary, was a real baring of my soul, and something I felt I had to do in order to shed not only pounds, but the shackles that held me back all those years from losing wieght - so it was a really fruitful exercise, if not difficult at times.
I really think everyone here are absolute gems. The oldies, the newbies and the inbetweeners - its just such a great bunch of men and women - i'd be lost without it.
THanks again, and wishing you every single success on your journey. We'll all be there with you.
XXXX
SO well done you.It is always warming to know I have touched someone. It always serves to remind, that in the big old world, we are never a lone, and never really that far away from someone who really would understand.
This diary, was a real baring of my soul, and something I felt I had to do in order to shed not only pounds, but the shackles that held me back all those years from losing wieght - so it was a really fruitful exercise, if not difficult at times.
I really think everyone here are absolute gems. The oldies, the newbies and the inbetweeners - its just such a great bunch of men and women - i'd be lost without it.
THanks again, and wishing you every single success on your journey. We'll all be there with you.
XXXX
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Ho hum, boo hoo, ouch and whatever. lol
Well, I am being a bit sneaky – but its relatively quiet at work, and I just thought I would take the opportunity to just jot a few lines about ‘where I am’ these days. Not very exciting or uplifting or newsworthy. Just stuff.
Life has been very hectic, and particularly stressful the last 3-4 weeks, though I have not been able to exactly pinpoint why. I know a few reasons, but think there must be more underlying that I have not really “seen” yet. Just been kind of a strange few weeks, emotionally speaking. Nothing drastic – nothing bad – but just sort of a feeling of, well, I don’t even know the right word. Foreboding is far too strong a word – but it feels like something heavy is coming. Weird.
I suppose a good deal of it is the fact that my OH leaves Saturday for a month in California without me. It is the longest we have been apart ever. It’s a very long story why I am not going, but to boil it down, because my ex-manager at work was mean. SO my leave was not authorised. So, he goes without me. It’s an exciting time, at the same time, as we just bought 2 more acres adjacent to our land, so we now have just shy of 5 acres of a gentle sloping mountain with a beautiful view of a majestic snow covered mountain. Its every exciting. I am sad not to be going, to also put my footprints on the land with him, for the first time, and to see new possibilities for our building site. I am feeling a bit left out of something very significant in our lives. I am also insanely envious that he will see my mom, my brothers, my friends who I miss immensley. And I will be stuck here, alone, on this wet island.
I have been stressing too about my transportation while he is away. He has rebuilt my MGB engine, and literally, just finished it about 2 days ago. And now he is leaving. It’s a worry as there will be places I will be going, on remote roads at night, and really, just been a concern weighing heavily on my mind.
And then there is always, ALWAYS worry about money. We are spending a lot on the property, and I have spent a lot the last few months, and it is just something I hate having to worry about. W e both make a good living, but there never seems to be enough. Why is it like that?? Grrrr.
Stress is indeed a trigger for me, and there have been a lot of times, that I have been picking at things I shouldn’t be. Though since seeing the phrase “little pickers wear big knickers” lol (I think that’s yours isn’t it Jezz? ) Well, that really helps. But I do feel I am battling the stress and the scales at the moment. Just really have strong yearnings for comfort food. The weather always makes me feel like that, and the weather has exacerbated my joint ailments, so been hitting the pain pills, and worrying about all that all just adds to the feeling of wanting to tuck in.
Seems some habits never go away and still challenge.
The oh-so-joyous outcome of all this stress and worry, is I have developed a rather acute and painful case of psoriasis all over the bottoms of my feet. L And the palms of my hands. And I am very upset about that. My OH has psoriasis, and I watch him suffer endlessly – this is the last thing I want or need. I think with my neck, hips, knees, feet and fibromyalgia, I have enough. I don’t really want this too. L So having a real pity party – while all the while knowing it could be much worse – but it’s bad enough. I just would not mind so much if something I got wasn’t always do flippen painful. L
So yeah – lifes pretty crazy at the moment. I am hoping in the OH’s absence, for time to de-stress, get grounded again, and get my focus back strong and stop worrying so much about stuff and just in general get a grip. I feel partially like holing up in my cave with a lot of chick flicks and bubble baths, maybe making an appearance now and again, but otherwise, climbing back into a cave and shutting the world out.
Sorry for the ramble – just feelin a wee bit melancholy – though it will very soon blow over. I just thought I would note it here as I have not posted on my diary for yonks.
Pretty dull stuff, but hey ho. J
x
Well, I am being a bit sneaky – but its relatively quiet at work, and I just thought I would take the opportunity to just jot a few lines about ‘where I am’ these days. Not very exciting or uplifting or newsworthy. Just stuff.
Life has been very hectic, and particularly stressful the last 3-4 weeks, though I have not been able to exactly pinpoint why. I know a few reasons, but think there must be more underlying that I have not really “seen” yet. Just been kind of a strange few weeks, emotionally speaking. Nothing drastic – nothing bad – but just sort of a feeling of, well, I don’t even know the right word. Foreboding is far too strong a word – but it feels like something heavy is coming. Weird.
I suppose a good deal of it is the fact that my OH leaves Saturday for a month in California without me. It is the longest we have been apart ever. It’s a very long story why I am not going, but to boil it down, because my ex-manager at work was mean. SO my leave was not authorised. So, he goes without me. It’s an exciting time, at the same time, as we just bought 2 more acres adjacent to our land, so we now have just shy of 5 acres of a gentle sloping mountain with a beautiful view of a majestic snow covered mountain. Its every exciting. I am sad not to be going, to also put my footprints on the land with him, for the first time, and to see new possibilities for our building site. I am feeling a bit left out of something very significant in our lives. I am also insanely envious that he will see my mom, my brothers, my friends who I miss immensley. And I will be stuck here, alone, on this wet island.
I have been stressing too about my transportation while he is away. He has rebuilt my MGB engine, and literally, just finished it about 2 days ago. And now he is leaving. It’s a worry as there will be places I will be going, on remote roads at night, and really, just been a concern weighing heavily on my mind.
And then there is always, ALWAYS worry about money. We are spending a lot on the property, and I have spent a lot the last few months, and it is just something I hate having to worry about. W e both make a good living, but there never seems to be enough. Why is it like that?? Grrrr.
Stress is indeed a trigger for me, and there have been a lot of times, that I have been picking at things I shouldn’t be. Though since seeing the phrase “little pickers wear big knickers” lol
(I think that’s yours isn’t it Jezz? ) Well, that really helps. But I do feel I am battling the stress and the scales at the moment. Just really have strong yearnings for comfort food. The weather always makes me feel like that, and the weather has exacerbated my joint ailments, so been hitting the pain pills, and worrying about all that all just adds to the feeling of wanting to tuck in.Seems some habits never go away and still challenge.
The oh-so-joyous outcome of all this stress and worry, is I have developed a rather acute and painful case of psoriasis all over the bottoms of my feet. L And the palms of my hands. And I am very upset about that. My OH has psoriasis, and I watch him suffer endlessly – this is the last thing I want or need. I think with my neck, hips, knees, feet and fibromyalgia, I have enough. I don’t really want this too. L So having a real pity party – while all the while knowing it could be much worse – but it’s bad enough. I just would not mind so much if something I got wasn’t always do flippen painful. L
So yeah – lifes pretty crazy at the moment. I am hoping in the OH’s absence, for time to de-stress, get grounded again, and get my focus back strong and stop worrying so much about stuff and just in general get a grip. I feel partially like holing up in my cave with a lot of chick flicks and bubble baths, maybe making an appearance now and again, but otherwise, climbing back into a cave and shutting the world out.
Sorry for the ramble – just feelin a wee bit melancholy – though it will very soon blow over. I just thought I would note it here as I have not posted on my diary for yonks.
Pretty dull stuff, but hey ho. J
x
slendablenda
Gold Member
Mi Casa es su Casa
Hi BL, sorry to hear you sounding concerned. I think it also has something to do with the moon and the change of the seasons and the dark winter coming our way.:cry:
I know it'll be hard for you for the next month - don't forget I'm only just down the road. Don't be a stranger x
Hi BL, sorry to hear you sounding concerned. I think it also has something to do with the moon and the change of the seasons and the dark winter coming our way.:cry:
I know it'll be hard for you for the next month - don't forget I'm only just down the road. Don't be a stranger x
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
Hey BL
So sorry to hear you are feeling down, I really want to send you a very considered reply to all this, but it is late, so please bear with me until after class tomorrow night. I am keeping you in my thoughts and will ask the angels for some comfort and serenity for you and a safe trip for your beloved.
Talk tomorrow
Jez
xx
So sorry to hear you are feeling down, I really want to send you a very considered reply to all this, but it is late, so please bear with me until after class tomorrow night. I am keeping you in my thoughts and will ask the angels for some comfort and serenity for you and a safe trip for your beloved.
Talk tomorrow
Jez
xx
