"But you don't need to lose weight..."

[tarotwoman]

I think if you can it's best to avoid telling anyone, but over here (I'm in Spain) a lot revolves around eating and drinking. I've found I've had to tell people otherwise you can't avoid being given massive glasses of wine and loads of calorie laden nibbly things.

Slendsblenda,
On the subject of people telling you the diet don't work, I had this said to me recently, which had me stuck for words! " If you like diets, I've got a good one you can have. I've done it and it's really good." She actually said it like I made a hobby out of trying different faddy diets out!

Tracey

 

[KookieDoh]

Only my parents, my doctor, and my counsellor know I am about to lose weight. No one else needs to know.

I think the other issue is "the fat friend" factor. It's sad but true that when you are big, you can be befriended by people who like you around because it makes them feel better about themselves. Losing weight is gonna get you some serious attention and I do know girls who have lost weight and lost friends in the process. At the end of the day it all boiled down to fear and self loathing which is very sad.

 

[tarotwoman]

If you lose friends through becoming slim, they were never really friends at all.

Tracey

 

[CrazyBrit]

Bingo

 

[KookieDoh]

I have had major trust issues in the past because I have had people do exactly that! Being the token "plain and chubby" friend sucks. It's why online forums appeal to me with my situation. I don't have to leave the house so no issues there and people get to know me first before they see me in person. Don't get me wrong, I never ever lie or post fake photos (if anything, it invites abuse and does you more harm than good), but I have been known on other chat forums not to reveal much about myself! I think half the web community out there does that. Not like here because here you are far more protected so you can speak far more freely.


I know living online is not healthy and I am taking steps with my problems hence getting on the health train tomorrow! Choo choo!

 

[klizw]

Thats awful imagine saying that to you! Wait until your slimmer than her and say the same back! I think people that try to put you off losing weight are just jealous and you should take it as a compliment.

I get people saying to me that I dont need to lose weight. And really I dont 'need' to, I am a healthy weight and a size 12 but I lost about 2 1/2 stone in the past and kept it off for 5 years and Ive only recently put a stone back on and I want to catch it before it gets worse.

Its hard sometimes though because I have friends heavier than me and they say they would love to be my size but its what I feel comfortable with that matters and I dont feel comfortable anymore and after being a size 10 for 5 years I no longer fit into a lot of my clothes, which is pretty hearbreaking because I love my clothes!

I'll get back into them though! (and need to look my best for getting married this year!)

x

 

[KookieDoh]

I think the worse thing a "friend" ever said to me when she got really drunk was "I know everyone says you are gross but I always tell them you are still a nice person". Thank you so much! You by the way are stunning with all that puke around your chops. Yes, I have had some great friends in the past. Alas I am one of those boring types that treats everyone as a person and I don't have to put others down to feel good.


And I don't drink!

I think with weight loss it must be something everyone has a strange time coping with. You've changed physically and mentally and everyone finds sudden shifts in relationships. I think it can be a good thing too though! You weed out the toxic people and welcome new experiences as well as forming stronger bonds with true friends!

 

[tarotwoman]

I am absolutely gobsmacked that someone said that to you. I can't imagine how you must have felt? I don't know whether I'd have hit her or cried. Actually, if she was so drunk, I think I'd have been tempted to accidentally on purpose have tripped her up and made her look an even bigger prat. With friends like that, who needs enemies? I've never known that saying to be so apt!

I think you're taking the right attitude, weed out all the toxic people and you'll be left with the true friends.

Tracey

 

[KookieDoh]

I was very young and she was just an idiot from my weekend job and I don't think anyone was calling me gross and if they were, they were the ones to talk. I swear they shared one deodrant and tooth between them. :giggle:

 

[tarotwoman]

Wouldn't it be nice to bump into them again once you're at target.

Tracey

 

[slendablenda]

Yeah

But they won't recognise her !

 

[John-]

I've got a few responses that I've thought up in case someone asks me how I'm going: (* = porkies)

"Are you on a diet still?"
More than 8kg above goal: Yes
Less than 8kg above goal: No*

"You don't need to lose weight"
Thank you (then shut up).

"You're getting too thin"
I stopped losing weight months ago*

"How is your diet going?"
More than 8kg above goal: Good (then shut up)
Less than 8kg above goal: I stopped losing weight months ago*

"How much do you weigh now/have lost?"
I keep my weight to myself, sorry.

"I want to lose 10kg so I can fit into my..."
You don't have to justify why you want to lose weight.

93kg/86kg/66kg

 

[Mooie]

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[sigourney]

Mm. Smells of envy to me . You do what you need to do to feel comfortable regardless of stupid comments that are usually given to make you doubt yourself. As long as you can tell that's all that matters x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[miss-tri]

I've got a few responses that I've thought up in case someone asks me how I'm going: (* = porkies)

"Are you on a diet still?"
More than 8kg above goal: Yes
Less than 8kg above goal: No*

"You don't need to lose weight"
Thank you (then shut up).

"You're getting too thin"
I stopped losing weight months ago*

"How is your diet going?"
More than 8kg above goal: Good (then shut up)
Less than 8kg above goal: I stopped losing weight months ago*

"How much do you weigh now/have lost?"
I keep my weight to myself, sorry.

"I want to lose 10kg so I can fit into my..."
You don't have to justify why you want to lose weight.

93kg/86kg/66kg

ohhhh all that made me LOL! brilliant answers!!!

 

[miss-tri]

At the weekend I was feeling really good as I've lost 11lbs in total and I'm now 10st - however I made the mistake of telling my friends and they all acted like I was actually lying about the weight I've lost. One friend said 'well I can't tell any difference, except perhaps your arms look a bit thinner'. Now I'm not expecting them to tell me I look stunning, but I'm not sure why they had to react like that either. I wasn't fishing for compliments either, but one of them asked why I was drinking gin and diet tonic (instead of the calorific cocktails I used to drink) and I don't like lying, so I told the truth... wish I hadn't bothered now!!

It's just not very nice when you can't rely on 'friends' for support.

i agree, even if its 1lb they should be happy for you, regardless of the reason.. friends should be happy that your happy so even if they say hadnt noticed a change it wouldnt have hurt them to be thrilled for YOU! i mean after reading that even im thrilled for you! 11lbs loss is GREAT!! but either they are slighly envious or they just didnt mean it in a nasty way and said what they said without thinking twice. either way, youv done brilliant regardless of their reaction so good on you!

 

[PurpleSky]

Been reading through this thread and its interesting as well i started sw on thursday though had lost a sotne and a half this month by my own steam, but needed some support. I try to take what my friends say as kinda complimentary ohh you dont look that weight(when i reveal) or one wont hurt. I love my friends but alas sometimes i think people do try and sabotage people slimming. Granted when i'm down to a happy size and weight, i tend to be more outgoing and confident, a little bit louder and i take more care about how i look and i tend to do more with my hair and makeup mainly because i feel like me again. As who i currently am isnt me, my weight tbh makes me feel so down so this is me being postive and doing something about it and it would be nice if people saw it as such.

 

[sigourney]

Lol I agree x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[Mooie]

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