Child abuse?

[Sassia]

I find it scary how some parents influence their children's habits in such a negative manner.

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[*Emsie*]

We have been set this topic at uni for an assignment - childhood obesity where does the problem lie. We have 2 camps we can set up in
1 - the government for advertising, food prices, lack of support/advice etc
2 - the parents - bad parenting, lack of knowledge etc

then we have to answer whether we think it is a child protection issue

Personally i believe its a mixture, the government have to take some responsibility and make steps towards helping with obesity. Its ok having 5 a day etc but they cant make people follow the advice and lets face it the advice changes every week. One week red wine is good for the heart the next it causes heart attacks. But the parents need to tackle the issue too. My little one is not a great eater in the fact he likes no sauces gravies etc so his meals often look like snacks than meals HOWEVER he will eat any fruit or veg put infront of him.

Child protection is a massive debate and yes to some extent it should be under neglect but think of all the children in this country that are already suffering with physical emotional or sexual abuse that are currently being missed because there are not enough resources to cope. If we throw obesity into this then all the abuse that can be easliy hidden will be even harder to locate

I agree wit a lot being said here. I do think that government/society have a lot to answer for and there are things that could be done but with all the money etc involved I don't think it is likely that much will be done apart from guidelines being given out.
Like 5 a day which doesnt touch it basically and if people eat 5 aday on top of allthe rubbish then they are only actually adding to their intake.
Alsotheway the information given out often changes/contradicts is a nightmare. Nutrition/diet is so complicated and people differ so much that it is difficult for rules that suit everyone though.
Child abuse is a very strong statement but if children were being under fed by the amount many are being over fed then it would definitely be neglect/abuse so how is it not the other way round.
I definitely feel that the lack of proper diet for myself caused me a lot of issues in life with my weight and beyond that I now touch wood have a control on and am better educated re food etc but I don't think it will ever go away completely.
I have 3 children 2 of whic eat a balanced varied diet and one who likes allthe bad things and looks like hewill be prone to put weight on and its not easy to monitor this without potentially giving him issues with food for life

 

[fillymum]

Personally I am loath to call this child abuse, misguided and ill informed yes.
We live in a society where the child has become king, resulting in a generation of children being raised with minimal discipline, scant manners and the idea that to deny them(or themselves) anything is wrong.
I've lost count of the times I've heard parents tell their children that they won't be getting sweets or whatever because they're naughty only to capitulate at the last minute. It's this liberal attitude that is wrong. Children need boundaries to feel safe, they are not born polite, they are not born wanting to eat vegetables, they need to be taught that if they do not eat the food placed in front of them then they do not eat!


I used to have a member of staff working for me that had a young child and told me she couldn't afford to cook roast dinners, and it was cheaper to get a happy meal!

I agree with all you have said here, it is informative, excellently put and well thought out, but there comes a point when it does become child abuse.

When a child is so obese their health is in danger it is child abuse. Every chicken nugget etc for a child who has a tendency to run to "puppy fat" is a nail in an early coffin.

Recently a mother in Valencia was arrested and her child taken into care because the child was morbidly obese.

 

[kingleds]

Recently a mother in Valencia was arrested and her child taken into care because the child was morbidly obese.

i find it really sad that a child needs to get to the morbidly obese stage before the authorities take action.

I find this a very difficult issue tbh. I was brought up by my dad who was himself overweight & as a result paranoid that we would turn out the same way. We did alot of acfivites & exercise. We did not get sweets, chocolate etc except for special occassions. To this day i have never eaten fish fingers or chicken nuggets. But when i became responsible for what i ate (i.e uni) i ate mainly rubbish & became increasingly less active

The flip side of the OP story are those whose parents make sure their 7 year old knows the calorific value of everything they put in their mouth. This is in my opinion as dangerous to a childs health (my dad was not this extreme btw)

There must be a happy medium surely?

 

[Shirleen]

I just worry that if over feeding your child is labelled as abusive and children are taken away there will be children like Victoria Climbie starving and naked in a cold steel bath. Or babies like Baby P beaten to death, or child x being raped repeatedly by a family member without the protection of any agency due to the lack of manpower because social workers are all rounding up the fat kids!

Child abuse is a secret, silent, cancerous and insidious disease that needs the general public to be aware of and alert to the signs, and specialist professionals to deal with it.
Sure start centres were supposed to educate and help parents, until people wasted the resoource and used it as free childcare!

 

[fillymum]

Oh how I agree with both of you and where is that fine line and when is it drawn.

 

[Clareel]

I do agree that this is a serious issue which needs to be dealt with but I can't ignore the fact that if obese children were to be taken into care, I would have been myself.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think my mum was right to overfeed me or give me sweets and chocolate every day but I honestly don't think she realised the negative impact it was having.
She was a single parent, working long hours in a stressful job so bringing me and my brother 'treats' home every night was her way of showing her love.

All I'm saying is that whilst these parents clearly need education and information on nutrition and healthy eating, I don't think it's particularly something we should jump into accusing them of child abuse for.

Obviously this is the majority of cases and there are a number were this help and advice has been given and ignored, in which case it may be in the best interest of the child to remove them from their parental home.

 

[ruthiebusybee]

This is such an emotive subject.

She's certainly not abused in any other way. What they are really guilty of is using food to over-compensate for them splitting up. Using food to show her how much they love her.

Re-education is what's needed.

I don't agree with the kids being taken into care though. Perhaps send both the parents and kids to a Wellsprings style place for a short sharp bout of education, yes.

 

[tara40]

My 9 year old said that he was tired of having happy meals and could he have a chicken burger (doesnt like beef, so only had nuggets). We got him the chicken burger meal and he couldnt eat it, it was too much for him. (they only have McDonalds occassionally).
I do think that the government should do something about food prices. it is cheaper to buy crap food. My youngest two love fruit, especially the youngest, likes to have grapes and all sorts of berries, but they are so expensive compared to say, a packet of 4 chocolate bars. I think that government should put extra tax on fast food and then reduce the good food.

 

[jaylou]

Interesting topic.

My daughter has eaten from the adult menu since the age of 10, and in some cases before - mainly because of the whole "chicken nuggets/fish fingers/turkey dinosaurs" type of food on the kids menus, none of which she or I were a fan of.

She has a hearty appetite but will the meat and leave the chips, and often orders a baked potato instead of chips. She can, and often has, had 3 courses. She is 13 and a healthy (if a little slim) weight.

Now, this is different to your story as my daughter is not overweight. If this were the case I would be advising healthier options, maybe suggesting a starter or dessert and leaving the chips, or only eating half. If you think of the way SW has their "free2go" programme, children are advised to make healthy swaps but nothing is really limited.

Obviously the father needs a bit of education but the child, even at 10, would have been educated on nutrition at school, they got this at my daughter's school in year 5 and 6. They also weigh kids in year 6 now and if the child is overweight, the parents get a letter with advice/support (well they did here).

It's a tough call and a sensitive issue but I think softly softly is the way to go.

 

[tara40]

my 5 year old (who was 4 at the time) had a packet of quavers in his lunch box and was told by the dinner lady that he couldnt have a healthy eating sticker as he had crisps.
I was furious as all that he ate that day was his apple as he thought that everything in his lunchbox was unhealthy.
I think that she should have used a different approach rather than say that or approached us as the parents.
he now has a couple of crisps in a small tupperware box, it holds about 5 quavers / wotsits.
The thing is, that there is nothing unhealthy about my boys they are all ideal weight, if not a bit under in Liam's case and can walk and hike for a miles.

 

[Snakes and ladders]

I think Tara has a good point about food prices. Children like colourful stuff like berries, they go for them quite naturally, but who can afford them? They are soooo expensive!

 

[mumtheshopper]

My 10 year old rarely eats of the children's menu. She ahs been veggie since the age of 4 years old. Children's menus rarely have veggie options, and when they do it is always a tomato based pasta. That's hardly a treat. That's what I feed her at home when I'm feeling lazy or ahve no time!! Most children's menus also stipulate up to 10 yers old anyway! My youngest does et off the children's menu at 8 years old. I would rather she didn't most of the time, as all she has is burger and chips. Hardly a treat, or healthy food.

 

[tara40]

and why oh why do they always put tons of cheese on veggie options.

 

[Maximus]

Personally I am loath to call this child abuse, misguided and ill informed yes.
We live in a society where the child has become king, resulting in a generation of children being raised with minimal discipline, scant manners and the idea that to deny them(or themselves) anything is wrong.
I've lost count of the times I've heard parents tell their children that they won't be getting sweets or whatever because they're naughty only to capitulate at the last minute. It's this liberal attitude that is wrong. Children need boundaries to feel safe, they are not born polite, they are not born wanting to eat vegetables, they need to be taught that if they do not eat the food placed in front of them then they do not eat!


I used to have a member of staff working for me that had a young child and told me she couldn't afford to cook roast dinners, and it was cheaper to get a happy meal!

I'm with Shirleen on this one.

Misguided possibly, and from what you say, or I understand, a "weekend dad". From experience that is one tough call.

I saw it a lot, weekend dads taking their kids to McD's BK KFC etc. - it's almost a cliché to be honest. It might be his one chance to spoil his daughter? - in his eyes, it may well be his way of treating her.

I'm sure he loves her and is not deliberately harming her, unless I am very much mistaken. Surely that is the important issue?

I also failed to see the significance of you referring to him as "saddo" as he lives with his mother after the breakdown of the relationship. Didn't add any relevance to the post and suggested an ulterior motive