Claire's WW journey ...

Discussion in 'Weight Watchers - Weight Loss Diaries' started by Wannabe10stone, 28 December 2010 Social URL.

  1. Wannabe10stone

    Wannabe10stone Full Member

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    Hello everyone!
    I have just joined minimins after a good year of dieting, then stuffing my face, then dieting, the eating lots .... I joined WW properly and went to classes etc and lost 11 pounds ( I started at just over 12 stone).
    Well since then I have gained and eaten whatever I want. For me its not so much about a new year starting but a new year, a new start and all that jazz.
    I need lots of support please because I am not going to meetings (I am a VERY poor student lol). But before I was known to fall off the wagon. I am going to try 100% until I reach my goal - with allowances like my 21st Birthday which is in 5 and a bit weeks time! :D

    A little bit of background ...
    current weight : 12 stone 10 *sigh* Heaviest I have ever been!
    Goal weight : 10 and half stone please!

    Mini goal : lose (almost) a stone within 35 days (for my 21st). like 2.5 - 3 lbs a week would be FAB!!

    I am currently a size 12-16 depending what shop, I struggle with clothes really because I find I have big boobies! (36F). So I find it tough to find clothes to fit my boobs but are also nicely fitting round my stomach and not too huge (which only makes me look fatter!).

    I have a gym where I live and a swimming pool so I hope to gym 2-3 times a week and swim afterwards when I can. I will be (hopefully) doing cardio and weights in my sessions.

    I am losing weight so I gain confidence ... my confidence if rock bottom at the moment with my body and I am avoiding situations because I hate what I look like. I just want to feel sexy again!

    any help and support would be GREATLY appreciated! :)

    xxx
     
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  3. Wannabe10stone

    Wannabe10stone Full Member

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    Day 2!

    I think I am doing ok so far! I have stuck to the points, and (mostly) healthy food! I think it will be MUCH easier when a) the xmas crap is eaten and out of the house and b) I have some money to buy some fresh food. Student loans come on the 10th so not too long now!

    I am then going to plan all my meals properly and ensure I stick to pointing!
    Tomorrow I need a relatively good day and cut a few points off so I can have a few bevvies on Friday night (new years eve!).

    I am starting to feel a bit peckish now but dont have any points left so will be going to bed in a mo.

    Got a REALLY long day ahead tomorrow - finishing this darn essay ... 45 mins on the wii fit and some housework. If I can get a revision plan in order too that would be awesome. I like snacking when I am revising / essay writing though, this is the problem. I have chocolates in at the mo... but am so determined not to have them! I have some fruit so will munch on that if I get hungry... and some weight watchers pitta and cucumber etc if I am really desperate.

    I have really been thinking about my weight yesterday and today - too much time to reflect really. It makes me sad that I look at photos and feel ashamed and ugly next to my friends. I don't think I am ugly - my face is ok I think! But my body just makes me feel really bad inside.
    I have realised that I am a complete emotional eater. When I am happy - I eat ... sad - I eat A LOT! When I am watching TV, my idea of doing something romantic is cooking food .. and when meeting up with people its " lets go for lunch ".
    I know I will never be able to escape this - hence why I have chosen to do WW rather than LL or CD. I want to LEARN that I don't need that amount of food. My body is like this because I am giving it too much. I wouldnt bloody dare overfill my car with petrol ... so why am I doing it to my body? It's a waste of food and my confidence is just going downhill.

    I am the heaviest I have ever been. And I am ashamed to say it. I can't believe I weigh 12 stone 10. Thats right ... 12stone 10. Thats the heaviest I am ever going to be. FACT.
    I hate it when my skinny friends sit there and devour a whole mcdonalds and then have a mcflurry and not put on a pound. I hate it how they don't have to go to the gym to looked toned and fabulous. I know my partner loves me and is happy with how I am - but I am not. I dont feel sexy, I dont feel happy in my own skin. I actually have ROLLS of fat. Thats so gross. I always look in magazines or on TV and see these girls / celebs who swan around being thin and pretty. Why can't I be like that?!?! I know its airbrushing and fake ... to be honest I just want to be thinner so I feel comfortable and can walk into a shop and just BUY something. And not restrict myself to a scarf or jewelery because I can't be bothered to try something on because I hate realising what size I am.
    I am just sick of being this size.

    Its clear that I am not happy. This is why I am on this journey now. Before when I did WW I was lighter than I am now ... not by much only a few pounds, but I don't think my heart was in it. I have started going out a bit more with a few friends, and looking at group photos and realising that I look bigger than the rest - and deleting my own photos where I look huge in comparison. Its just embarrassing.

    Every time I feel like emotionally eating, I am going to come on to this "blog" of mine, and talk about why I am doing this. whilst I have been typing this my hunger has kinda gone.

    Well. I am off to bed now. This has helped me get a few things off my chest and sometimes thats just what you need!

    any tips people let me know (ill be suprised if anyone even reads this essay! lol)

    Night :)
    xxx
     
  4. blackwidow

    blackwidow Gold Member

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    Hey wannabe!

    I totally get your confidence thing - although I am much bigger than you, I do feel more confident as I drop the weight.

    I'm a bit taller than you so can carry the extra weight (however I have not been blessed with boobies like yours :( B cup!!) but I am struggling too with the Xmas chocolates - they're everywhere :( I remember how hard it was when I was a student.. Infact when I was in uni I ended up at my heaviest - too many vending machines and money wasted on expensive lunches out all the time.. And of course the alcohol!

    Which plan are you doing? I know discover pretty well but I'm heading to classes to start the propoints after new year.

    Will pop in plenty to check up on how you're doing :) x
     
  5. missybct

    missybct nomnomnom

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    Hey chick.

    Like Rach, I totally get the confidence thing. Although I'm far, far heavier than you, my lowest weight in the summer was just over 15st and oddly enough I felt really good as I'd dropped four stone. It's funny how eating better can improve your confidence ten fold, or at least it did with me.

    xxx
     
  6. Wannabe10stone

    Wannabe10stone Full Member

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    Thanks guys :)

    Blackwiddow - for me its not so much the alcohol ... because weirdly I don't drink that much (in fact rarely!). I never lived in student halls because my bf of 5 years moved with me ... and we have had a flat since I started. I think its the fact that I moved from a reallllly rural place where the nearest fast food chain was 20 miles away ... and now its right next door - and I have choice! So that was a big contributer I think. My parents never had take out either - we always had home-cooked meals, so when I had the freedom to actually order food. We went a bit crazy to say the least!

    I am doing the discover plan again - I tried slimming world before (which seems similar to the PPplan) .. and it didnt agree with me. I lost 6 pounds but then nothing for ages, and I quite like consistancy!

    Missy - thats an incredible amount to lose! Well done!!!!!! Truely inspirational. It is very true that losing weight and eating good does make you feel better. Me and my friend used to go to exercise classes together (when I was a bit thinner - well a stone thinner lol) and I loved it. I just dont want to go now ... "the fatty of the class" and all that :(

    I also find it hard when people who are supposed to love you come out with comments like "yeah youre right you have put on weight. Just stop eating so much then". I KNOW i've said I have put on weight but it doesnt give u the right to say it too! lmao.

    My dad is the worst... if I pick up something to eat ... he will say "do you really need that though? Ur adding on inches whilst u munch on that" and then it just makes me wanna eat it more! I am glad I dont permenantly live at home anymore tbh!

    Another thing with me .. is that I am obsessed with weighing myself.
    Absolutely OBSESSED. I have an OCD really...every morning since I realised I put on 2 stone (I realised this in like 2008 ... ) I weight myself. Religiously. As SOON as I wake up.. I go for a wee, take off my clothes and weigh myself. It completely sets my mood for the day. I have tried not doing it - I just cant. I get really upset and start eating more or nothing at all because I just don't know where I stand.
    It is such a bad habit to have ... but I can't help it! No-one understands how I feel about weighing myself - even when doing WW I would weigh every day so when she anounced a 3.5 lb loss I would be like I know :) lol.

    Anyway ... problems problems! Today I am tackling my essays! Eeeek! I WILL get these finished though so I can have a stress-free NYE and NYD! I am cooking a roast on NYD, so that will be my main meal with some fruit and yoghurt during the evening then!

    xxxx
     
  7. yummymummy75

    yummymummy75 Silver Member

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    i was a similiar weight to you a few months back,,and my confidence was pretty low too,,now i'm like a new person,,all my pics on fb are of me and not my kids lol,,spent yrs hiding from pics and now just smiling for the camera!!!when we go to meet friends it was always for coffee or fast food,,i still go now but i'll have a skinny latte and bring my own ww bar,,little changes like that will help,
     
  8. Wannabe10stone

    Wannabe10stone Full Member

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    Thanks yummy mummy - thats just what I need! Inspiration like that makes me realise why I am doing this when I feel crap like today!

    I have been doing my essays all day ... got up at 9 and havent stopped, I ate my cereal whilst reading and I have just had a yoghurt aswell. But so far thats all I have had. Need to get some water soon though so keep me hydrated!

    This aint bad going today - but I wish I had crisps! :(

    I really need to go shopping, and I think not having proper healthy food in the house is distracting me ... but I am doing good so far!

    As I mentionned I am a little obsessed with weighing and all ... well I weighed myself this morning and I have lost .... a pound and half in 3 days! Woohoo! So that should be 3-4 by Tues if I keep going at this rate!

    That keeps me going too!

    So advice then please - what drinks are lowest in calories? Spirits I take it with a diet mixer?
    What about things like malibu .. is that worse than say vodka?

    xx
     
  9. missybct

    missybct nomnomnom

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    I think all the clear spirits (Malibu, Barcadi, Gin, Vodka) are lowest in points, but don't quote me on that as I'm not a spirit drinker - then obviously diet coke etc is 0ppts. I wish I was a spirit drinker as it would be far more useful on the old points but I only drink white wine! xxx
     
  10. yummymummy75

    yummymummy75 Silver Member

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    as far as i know malibu is only half a point where vodka is 1 point,,
     
  11. Wannabe10stone

    Wannabe10stone Full Member

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    Oh wonderful! Malibu is my favourite! lol

    Well today has gone really well actually. And I am actually making spaghetti and meatballs using a WW sauce, but making the meatballs myself with extra lean mince .... everything will be 10 points! Bargain! :)


    xx
     
  12. hbb

    hbb Thoroughly Determined

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    For the record: malibu is 0.5 points for 25mls (a single), 1 point for 35mls (a large single) and 1.5 points for 50mls (a double).
    :)
     
  13. Wannabe10stone

    Wannabe10stone Full Member

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    Oh fab - I will stick to singles anyway - I am a lightweight haha.


    I have done ALL my housework today - from literally cleaning skirting boards to cleaning all my shiney black kitchen cupboard. So I probably burnt a fair few calories doing that! Took me 4 and half hours. And before that I went food shopping and bought lots of healthy food! Yummy!

    I have realised a few things today really - its the eating out that I am going to find difficult I think. My OH is taking me out for dinner tonight, he asked me where I would like to go and I said Harvester because its down the road (so we can both have a fwe bevvies... ) and they have a salad cart and all that. So I know its not expensive or all that jazz - but its handy for the diet! I think he was expecting me to say Jamie Olivers tbh! hehe!

    So I have looked online and worked out their points for a few things - Holy **** did anyone realise that NACHOS were like over 1000 calories ... FOR ONE PERSON??? Its nuts! I used to wolf those down almost every time I went!!!!

    So tonight ( as I have mentionned in my food diary ) I am having "simply chicken" with a jacket potato and salad (like cucumber, lettuce, tomato .... no creamy stuff!) from the salad cart! Simply chickn with jacket pot is only 8 points! Thats not too bad I dont think! or 11 with chips I think. I think id prefer the jacket spud anyway!

    So I am looking forward to that ... and now a few SINGLE malibu and diet cokes for 1/2 a point per drink! Get in!

    Got a bottle of malibu and some diet coke here at home too ... so might have a few more when I get home for that kinda pointage! lol.

    As I mentionned before I am a serial weigher .... well I weighed myself this morning, and I have lost nearly 3 POUNDS since Tuesday!!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO! I know its mostly water weight (if not all of it) but its soooo encouraging seeing a lower number! Realllly spurs me on.

    Also ... this may completely be a figure of my imagination ... but I feel like I have more energy! I HATED doing housework before - but I put on some tunes and danced my way round my place sweeping and mopping and wiping. I just feel a little happier too ... its all very psychological isn't it?! Strange how your mind works really. lol.

    When I went shopping today, I found it so easy not to buy any biscuits or chocolates or any crap in fact. I was amazed with myself!

    I think this really is the start to a great weight loss journey!

    Yay!!

    Happy new year everyone :)


    xx
     
  14. missybct

    missybct nomnomnom

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    I totally agree that I have more energy when I'm losing weight - I suffer from M.E and in the summer after losing four stone I was able to walk up to 10 miles, whereas before I was struggling with just one!

    I think it is very psychological, if you feel good about yourself by virtue of putting good and healthy food into your body, it carries over to all aspects of life - my boyfriend always remarks that when I'm eating better, although I may moan that I can't have the chocolate in copious amounts and the wine, he says I am in a better mood overall.

    I hope you have a lovely evening and enjoy your meal :) Happy New Year! xxx
     
  15. Wannabe10stone

    Wannabe10stone Full Member

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    Thanks missyb! Happy new year to you too :)

    Well ... last night went amazingly!!!!!
    We went to harvester and overall I only had 4 single malibu's and diet cokes! I had simply chicken and jacket potato - lots of lettuce and cucumber from the salad bar, and one ladel of red devil sauce. It was DELICIOUS aswell! We came home and although we had bought quite a bit of party food, I opened packets but only cooked half - so it could be spread over last night and tonight meaning points wise it would work out better lol. Even slightly tipsy I still had my pointing head on!

    I had 2 bottles of wine given to me for christmas - and they remain untouched in the fridge! I think I am going to leave them until my 21st when I am REALLY going to let my hair down for just that one weekend (5th of feb is my party!).

    Today I am cooking a yummy roast chicken dinner. With baby new potatoes, sprouts, red cabbage, parsnips, carrots, a few roast potatoes (no duck fat with it this time!!!!), onions and roasted plum tomatoes and some brocolli. So my plate is going to be FULL with fresh veggies, and a few potatoes!
    I am looking forward to that too!!! Only going to have breast meat - no skin - because I know it racks up the points.

    Think its gna be less points than I thought! Cooking with fry light you see :D

    Chicken - 3 points (only having a breast and a bit - no skin).
    Potatoes - 2 points (200g)
    Veg (carrots, parsnips, sprouts etc) - 2 points
    Gravy (only a tad!) - 1 point

    8 points


    Good job Claire! lol
    xxx
     
  16. missybct

    missybct nomnomnom

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    Sounds fab - hope you enjoyed your meal! xxx
     
  17. blackwidow

    blackwidow Gold Member

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    meal sounds totally lush! can i come for NYD next year please? :D x
     
  18. Wannabe10stone

    Wannabe10stone Full Member

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    Thanks guys!! It was amazingly delicious! :)

    Had a slip up yesterday though - but thats behind me now, and I am beginning to attempt to repay the points. Basically ... the OH decided to cook 2 mini pizza's and he gave one for me. I said oh no no thanks. But then I changed my mind. :/
    So after I devoured it ... I worked out it was 8 bloody points! for that poxy small thing! I couldnt believe it. So yesterday I had like 27 points in the end :( 5 over my allowance.

    So today I am having 2 less and the same applied for tomorrow - hopefully it will work out ok ... WI on Tuesday! Ahhh!

    I was amazed though and a little confused because I got onto my wii yesterday and it said "WOW you have lost 6 pounds!!!" I was like surely thats some clothing issue right there lol. According to my scales I have lost much less than that!

    Anyway - I have stuck to my Wii experiment and its going well. Although its gone a bit like this ....57 minutes ... 30 minutes ... 30 minutes ... 20 minutes ... 30 minutes.

    LOL. So I started off REALLY enthusiastically! haha. Today I will do my hour though - I am determined! Also I plan to go for a swim tomorrow morning, firstly to burn a few calories, but also because I can go in the jacuzzi and sauna afterwards! mwahaha!!!

    I am very excited actually because my mum bought me and my best friend a spa day! So we will be doing that at the end of January too. Hopefully I would have lost at least 9 pounds by that point (4 weeks in at that point so I should hope so anyway!) So that will be a nice treat. I also have a photo shoot at the end of January too. I am REALLY not looking forward to that yet because I wanted to be quite a bit thinner before I did it - but it runs out at the end of january. So I plan to keep my wii'ing and swimming and start going to the gym again too - to maximise any weight loss!

    I am crazy busy at the moment though - this seems to be my problem.

    I have done my essays ... got to revise for exams coming up this month ... I need to work because I am severely skint ... housework, cooking, uni work, gym, wii, swim, spa, photoshoot ............... whilst a few sound quite glamorous ... all the bits inbetween are not! haha.

    I was thinking about going to the gym today - but I just cant face it during the day - i'd much rather go early in the morning! When hardly anyone else is there I suppose.

    Anyway - happy pointing everyone :)
    xxx
     
  19. blackwidow

    blackwidow Gold Member

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    they reckon 30mins a day is what you should aim for to maintain a healthy lifestyle though.. so even if you average out at over 30mins then you're doing great :D x
     
  20. Wannabe10stone

    Wannabe10stone Full Member

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    Blackwidow - you are right. I walked to my pool today too (only a 5 minute walk! lol) ... to find it is closed due to work this week! I was gutted - so then I thought oh maybe the gym ... thats closed too. Great start! lol.

    So I think I am going to wii it!

    Anyway - After the whole pizza business - yesterday was absolutely brilliant food wise!!! I had a really relaxing day - did a bit of uni work, watched some tv ... cooked nice food ... played scrabble and monopoly. Overall a nice relaxing day!


    Will update soon!

    xx
     
  21. missybct

    missybct nomnomnom

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    Don't sweat it about the pizza - I'm sure you can claw back the points :) You sound very fitness friendly! I need to get my mojo out - I bought my copy of Davina Power of Five over from my Mum's so I may attempt to do that at some point (hmmm...)!

    xxx
     
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