Cold Shoulder!

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by LaydeeBug, 14 October 2009 Social URL.

  1. LaydeeBug

    LaydeeBug Full Member

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    I have not told anyone about my LL journey, except my close family and fiance.

    Before I started LL at the beginning of September, I was talking to a couple of ladies on the park where I walk my dog. They are both big ladies and go to WeightWatchers together...and apparently have done on and off for a few years.
    I mentioned I was starting LL ( I don't know them so didn't mind chatting about dieting), and they said " Oh no, go to WW, much better blah blah...).

    Today is the first time I have bumped into them again since before I started.
    They were both on the park with their dogs, as was I, and one was with her husband. I normally stop and say hi to my dog's doggy friends, but they ignored me and I stood there feeling like a bit of a lemon. :eek:
    The husband ( who is usually very nice to me) kind of shuffled awkwardly, said hello and then took his attention elsewhere.
    ( That same husband has told me how his wife often gets upset about her weight gains on WW after a "bad" week).

    Well, after a few mins, I asked the couple how their holiday had been back in August....the woman snootily said "Fine"...then said " So are you doing that diet then?"

    I said yes I was, then said I had better go as i needed to let my dog stretch her legs.

    I was quite shocked at the difference. I know I am not yet slim, but I have lost almost 2 stone, and I could feel the animosity from 2 women who I know are battling weight issues.

    I am a very happy, friendly person, and i was startled at the change.

    I guess not everybody will wish me well on this journey.

    Is it "Fat and friendly" or "Slimmer and Snooty" that they see in me? I haven't changed. :(
     
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  3. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    case of the green-eyed monster, plain and simple. As a fellow fatty you were easily approachable by them, now you are slimming so fast they are both jealous as hell that they have been doing WW unsuccessfully and you've dropped more weight in a couple of months than they have in a couple of years!

    It's their problem, not yours, so hold your head high and strut your stuff - especially when you see them! :D
     
  4. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

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    ...If they wanted to they could lose the weight. Even on WW. The diet works if you follow it. It's just LL is easier to stick to fixed boundaries, takes away food choices and has the magic ketosis so hunger doesn't pounce.

    For some, and me in the past, yo-yo dieting and ww meetings are a way of life. Smile at them and say you can give them the contact details of your LLC if they are seious about losing the weight and learning how to change their behaviours to maintain for life.

    Be proud of the steps you have taken. xx
     
  5. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    oh dear - you have to feel sorry for them really!
    they will be stuck losing and gaining the same few pounds for years - as many of us were.

    i have a SW colleague at work who is just willing me to put the weight back on - i just ignore her now, there are more important things to worry about it life

    daisy x
     
  6. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Yeah Laydee

    You got off your ar*se, stopped talking about losing weight, just got on with it.
    2 stone later you are well on your way.
    Well done.
    I do know what you mean. it's upsetting when you realise you were okay as a friend when you were fat, but as soon as you start to lose weightyou are seen as a threat by some people. So disappointing.
    It has happened to me with 2 friends I thought were really special to me. It hurts.:cry:
     
  7. Foxtrot

    Foxtrot Is back in the saddle!

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    They're the ones feeling rubbish and guilty! Don't you dare let it affect you!

    TI put something interesting there that I was thinking about. I have worked with many women, mainly in a school, and a lot of them always brought in the WW meals, Boots Shapers stuff even Slim Fast in the fridge and were always bemoaning 'The Diet' when they never actually seemed to change. It was, I guess as TI said, a way of life, just a habit, the thing you did because other women did. They were kidding themselves they were actually trying to do something about their weight problem. I know a couple of them definitely went home and congratulated their huge success of surviving their dieting day with a glass or three of wine. And so the cycle goes on.

    If you're on here and you're doin' the do, you're not part of their cycle and another member of the herd. Well done, keep it up and find the individual, beautiful, real you instead.
     
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  8. LaydeeBug

    LaydeeBug Full Member

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    Thanks everyone for your inspiring comments.

    I mentioned the "icy episode" to my OH on the phone earlier ( he is not home this evening) and he said pretty much the same as you guys.
    Jealousy, and definitely the fact that they moan about WWs and why they can't lose weight ~ so true Foxtrot...they must pretend to diet as they haven't looked any different to me in the 2 years I have been walking on that park!

    As OH also said, why would I give a damn?

    I think it's always hurtful to be shunned, no matter what the reason...but to be shunned for losing some body fat is a bit extreme!

    I suppose the positive of this is that I now realise other people are more insecure than I realised ~ I always thought everyone else seemed to have oodles of confidence.

    Shame on those kind of people who use bullying tactics or hurtful comments to us triers. I'm not in this to please others...especially not the whinging women on the park.

    Onwards and Upwards! xx :) ( Or downwards in size! :p).
     
  9. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

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    Great positive approach there Laydee. ;)
     
  10. melarnz

    melarnz Silver Member

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    At least they were strangers!! My best friend turned bad on me! (read best friend turned bad thread for the full story)

    Dont you worry your slim little body about it xx
     
  11. Gemma79

    Gemma79 I will do this!

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    that's unreal! We hear it will happen but can't believe it has to you as I know how much of a lovely person you are. I can't add anything to what all these lovelies have said, you're doing great, keep going! x
     
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  12. Morticia

    Morticia Happy in my own skin

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    That's not so good, but at the end of the day, these people don't mean anything to you so best ignored I'd say. Well done on your weight loss so far...:D
     
  13. Snorks

    Snorks Full Member

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    You've shown them up I reckon, held a mirror up to them and they see the difference in you but not in themselves and they don't like what they see. Like everyone else says, they've talked the talk but not actually done anything about it really. I've spoken to people who tell me they are struggling to lose weight and that they are desparate, but oh no they couldnt do LL. Maybe they just don't want it enough. In years to come they will still be walking in the park being miserable and *****y, stay positive and move on. you're doing brilliantly.

    Human nature is a strange thing, especially it seems in this country. The media is full of criticisms of celebrities who are overweight and yet it's common to also criticise those who do something about it by undermining their methods, or saying they're too thin/have lollipop heads/must be on drugs etc. I think it's also human nature and totally natural to feel hurt by their reaction to you. However you are strong enough to complete this and live your life while they are stuck in their rut.

    Well done on your 2 stones!

    edited to say: the word that has been asterisk-ed out was b!tchy, nothing worse!
     
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  14. LaydeeBug

    LaydeeBug Full Member

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    Thanks everyone..

    Melarnz, I read your thread and I know you must be a strong lady to go through that with your best friend. I was aghast when I read it.

    And Snorks...so very well put, thank you! xx :)
     
  15. yoyo-ohno

    yoyo-ohno Full Member

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    Hey Lady,
    What a horrid thing to happen .... as the other guys have said, its their insecurity & jealousy.
    You are doing FAB & clearly they can see how brill you look and it forces them to face the reality of their dieting failures.
    Chin up - don't let 'em bother you :hug99:

    ... and make sure your pooch knows not to bother with them anymore; they're not nice :D

    yoyo
    xx
     
  16. LaydeeBug

    LaydeeBug Full Member

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    That made me laugh Yoyo ~ thanks. xx :p
     
  17. milli

    milli Full Member

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    Hi Laydee
    As everyone else has said - ignore them you are doing so well they cannot handle it!
    That is their problem really but we are all facing the same reaction on this journey and we must use our rebellious child and (mentally)tell them where to stuff their reactions!
    We don't care cos we know where we want to get to and IT WORKS!
    Keep going and take no notice whatsoever you are doing great.
    Milli x
     
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  19. Looby Lew

    Looby Lew Full Member

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    Hey Laydee ....and I thought most dog lovers were nice folk ! Jealousy does horrible things to people - you are better than they are:D
     
  20. Beeswax

    Beeswax Tiny dancer

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    Hi Laydee,

    I think you've done brilliantly - it's clear that they're just jealous. Are the people closest to you supportive, though? I've been getting weird reactions all over the place lately from people who seemed to be perfectly happy with me when I was "rounder and more jolly" (as one of them put it!). It's a bit of a mind-bender to get such extreme reactions after just a few weeks and it's hard to know how to deal with that. It's tempting to run and hide, but just remember - you're doing this for you, not them. Some people are happy to see dieting as a way of life, but you're stronger than that! Imagine eating Boots Shapers sandwiches for the rest of your life (bleh) and seeing no major loss. Imagine having such wonky self-confidence that you were solely nice to people because you think you're better than them. What a sad life! What small minds! No wonder they're jealous of you and your positive outlook and new, svelte physique. :) xx
     
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