completely off topic - teenager help!

[Blorpy]

Hello!

I hope you don't mind me sticking my oar in here

Of course it is entirely your decision whether you allow your son to play this, I thought I'd give you some info as I have actually played the game (I'm a girly geek I play this and CS:S)

The online version of the game, which you play with your friends is very different to the storylined one-player game. There are basically teams of online players trying to kill each other as soon as possible, very unrealistic, no plotting to bow up airports for example (lol)

All of which sounds good - except, these are real people he's dealing with, and the XBox community is full of silly teenagers and the worst language you'll hear outside of a prison. If you let play it in front of you, don't let him wear a headset so you can hear what goes on.

While I don't believe for one minute that games will magically turn children into ultra-violent little horrors, I personally wouldn't let my child on Xbox live

Blorpy x x x

 

[daisydoll]

thanks blorpy
good advice there. it is the online version he wants to go on with his mates.
i think moving it downstairs is the answer - its not a problem with his other games as it is the only one he goes online on.

out of interest are the other COD games the sme - he is going on about getting 4 as its not an 18. Do they play it in the same way online?

daisy x

 

[pete10141748]

Yeah Call of Duty 4 is basically exactly the same as Modern Warfare 2 (MW2 is the sequel) and the online is played in the same way. If you're letting him play MW2 then Call of Duty 4 is fine, it's less intense and less realistic than MW2 and the gameplay is the same.

Once again this is only my opinion, and I completely respect every else's points of view, but the fact that there are some silly teenagers and bad language on Xbox Live (or PSN if he plays it on a Playstation 3) are just facts of life, and I'd willingly bet he/she hears just as bad language/attitudes at school, in the park, his mate's, house, in town..... once again I firmly believe it's a case of teaching them that just because they hear it or see it in a film/online, doesn't make it ok for them to say it or do it themselves; considering the modern world, educating them seems to make far more sense to me than to try and 'shield' them from such things for as long as possible, as realistically even if you prevent them doing/seeing/hearing something at home when you are there, they'll find other ways, as people have said they'll be at friends' houses etc. and then in my eyes you end up being the 'bad guy' as the world has one set of rules for the child and then you impose more strict rules that make them unhappy at home. Seems like a worse situation than just letting them play a game imo.

But that's just me, and I'm biased as a gamer anyway as I'd want my kids to enjoy the games like I do too! Plus my parents *did* put those same restrictions on me; even at 17 when I was in their house I wasn't allowed to watch an 18 film or play an 18 game, and even when I was 15 and legally allowed they still tried to prevent me from watching things like South Park. It doesn't work, as in my case I just spent every second I could at my mates' house doing all the stuff my parents wouldn't let me do as their parents did let them.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying kids should be allowed to do whatever they want, we all know that's a bad idea! But if the biggest issue you're having with your children is just with a simple computer game, I'd just let the child play it be happy.

 

[Blonde Logic]

Don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying kids should be allowed to do whatever they want, we all know that's a bad idea! But if the biggest issue you're having with your children is just with a simple computer game, I'd just let the child play it be happy.

totally hear what you have been saying here Pete, and I agree with some of it.

But I think the big picture for Daisy - and I might be wrong - but is the issue that he lied to her. ANd that is never nice.

ANd that really does need nipping in the bud. IMHO of course.

 

[CalicoSoneji]

Since i commented on this thread i've been playing the game and now i cant stop
The game isnt really very realistic, and pete is right - theres an option to disable the terrorist bit if you want.
So on second thought, the game isnt as bad as i originally concluded - but i still think you should stand your ground due to your son going behind your back.

It's took me this long to post this because im too busy blowing up my friends lol!

xxxx

 

[daisydoll]

Lol calico
He seems to have got over hating me for taking it off him and is watching other games on ebay. He's accepted he did wrong and that we will talk about the game in question in a few weeks.

Pete you are right, restricting kids willl just want to make them do stuff more. I am fairly relaxed and they get a lot of freedom, but i don't like being lied to as it then makes me question everything...

anyway, these things are sent to try us. I'm sure there's far worse to come, lol!

thanks again for all your help guys

daisy x

 

[Blorpy]

Ah I think I attract abuse as young boys definitely do not like getting beaten by a woman There is a special type of venom reserved for us.

I'm saying I play Xbox live, I play PC games more - the idea of a FPS game with a gamepad is just SO WRONG. If any fellow gamers want a game of CS:S or L4D message me haha

Gaming is such a good distraction when you feel the tummy monster growling!

COD4 is a bit more tame than MW2, but as most people are moving to MW, he'd most likely end up wanting to play that again.

 

[daisydoll]

ive just noticed on channel 4 tonight that jo frost woman is doing a programme about violent computer games - might have a look and see what supernanny says, lol!

daisy x

 

[Foxtrot]

I didn't have a word in her shell like! Honest!!

 

[daisydoll]

thanks FT - I thought someone must have told her about my problem lol!

it was interesting. They did an experiment where 40 boys played computer games. half played a violent war game, half played a football game.

They monitored the heart rates and both groups went up whilst playing. The violent ones more so.
They then showed some violent news type footage. The violent game group had become desensitized to the violence on screen (after just 20 mins of playing the game.) The non violent group were more sensitive to the violence they saw.

they also found that 80% of the non violent group helped when someone knocked over a pot of pencils whereas only 40% of the violent group helped showing how by playing the games they showed less empathy with others.

I think from teaching I see this type of behaviour an awful lot - children who just don't care if others are struggling, kids who can't empathise with others.
Manners cost nothing - but there are an awful lot of zombie kids out there who just don't 'see' opportunities to help/say please etc. They are not neccessarily bad kids, they just live their lives virtually or through the TV that that human contact is somehow 'lost' and they really don't know how to behave.
I am not happy with the content of certain games - like the COD as personally I am anti-war, but I do know that he will play them at mates houses etc so there is little point in banning them. I don't think they turn kids into lunatics, but i do think they can have a negative effect on some and i think the experiments prove that is the case.

I want my kids to have empathy with others and to be sensitive to what is right and what is wrong.
Kids and adults who are lacking these skills are not neccessarily 'bad' or 'evil' but i truly believe that a lot of the problems our society faces is due to a lack of these essential life skills.

back to the games tho - my son has been playing COD since late november, he turned 13 dec 8th.
i have kept joking he turned into a teenager overnight but looking back his behaviour did actually change since playing it. Co-incidence, maybe.... but actually after seeing those experiments it seems more likely his empathy levels have changed.

he is still a nice lad, don't get me wrong, but there have been changes in his attitude towards his little sis at times and to helping me about the house etc

we watched it together - it didn't say for kids not to play the games but he said he would limit his time on the games and he said if i thought he was behaving in an unhelpful way than i could stop him playing it.

gosh, i'll get off my soap box now!

daisy x

 

[slendablenda]

You need to be on that soap box.
You are only likkle !!!
Daisy, I think it doesn't matter what other people think - you should do what's right for YOU and YOUR family and stick with your decision.
However, I wold say that - I think you were right to watch it with your son before making your decision.