Compliments - do you accept gracefully or...

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Devon Dolce, 17 April 2010 Social URL.

  1. Devon Dolce

    Devon Dolce 1lb at a time!

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    ... try to convince the person giving it to 'not to be so daft?'

    In the past I've always poo pooed compliments asking the person kind enough to give it 'where's your dog', 'you must be joking' etc etc. I'm sure you've got your own, but recently I've had a few lovely compliments and I've accepted them gracefully, I haven't put myself down but said 'yes, I am losing weight and feeling great about myself' which reinforces the complimnet. It does take a bit of getting used to but it's all positive peeps and that can only be a good thing!

    P.S. This post came about from my BF who I saw today and said I was looking fab - in the past I would have laughed it off, but today I said 'Thanks hun, I am feeling good about myself, thank you for noticing' xxxx
     
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  3. Crys

    Crys Full Member

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    I tend to blush and get a bit giggly, but always say thank you and take it on the chin. I had to laugh the other day, I was n the supermarket wth DH when some nce old guy came up on his mobilty scooter to us in the sweets aisle, and said 'you dont want them, love, you'll ruin your lovely figure' :O :O I was really gobsmacked, and DH thought it was hilarious. What a strange thing to say to anyone?!
     
  4. *Emsie*

    *Emsie* Gold Member

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    I usually take them if I think they are genuine! We are working hard and we deserve the recognition :)
     
  5. lemon_fizz

    lemon_fizz Full Member

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    I have learned to accept them gracefully. Afterall if I pay someone a compliment and they say 'oh don't be so daft' or the like, it annoys me and I wonder why I bothered!
     
  6. xGeordieGirlx

    xGeordieGirlx I

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    On the very rare occasion I get a compliment, I've started to accept them and take them on board which I never used to do. I used to say "yeah whatever" or "are you blind?!"

    Like the other week, me and my Mum ran into an old family friend who later on told my Mum that I had turned into "such a beautiful young lady" which I did laugh at, but it made me feel good inside.

    Also, ran into an ex bf the other day who was like "wow I haven't seen you in years, you look fab" I was like, IN YOUR FACE EX! Haha..which has now lead to him trying constantly to contact me, which is NOT what I need LOL :)
     
  7. avisk

    avisk xx

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    That's the whole point, isn't it. Someone paying us a compliment is trying to be nice. Throwing it back in their face is really just plain rude.

    We don't have to agree. Just smile, and say "thank you, how kind of you to say so".
     
  8. Devon Dolce

    Devon Dolce 1lb at a time!

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    I'd hate to think that someone thought I was 'throwing something they said to me back in their face' and I'm most certainly not a rude person - manners makketh man don't they?? I guess what I was trying to say, although perhaps not clearly enough, was that my own negativity towards myself is now changing for the positive, and that really can only be a good thing xxxx
     
  9. deblindsay

    deblindsay Member

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    Hi all,
    I've always been really awful at accepting compliments...I usually say "thank you" but then say something awful such as "are you taking the mickey" or something equally awful. I've never thought about how rude that must come across...certainly made me think x
     
  10. robsterswife

    robsterswife Tummy Mummy

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    I always say thank you ,although I appreciate them I still find it hard to believe they are telling the truth.
    xx
     
  11. StacieG

    StacieG Full Member

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    I found this the other day in group!.. Everyone was lined up ready to to sign in and I jumped up first because I usually weigh everyone in and I whipped off my boots and jumper and stood on the scales and the people lining up looked and me and were like ..'oooohh look at her, she is disappearing infront of our eyes!'... I didn't really know what to say.. I didn't realise they were talking to me!..I was like who me!??! got rather embarassed and was like..oh right thanks! long way to go though!!...
    didn't know what to do with the compliment! :-s
     
  12. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    I still really struggle, i tend to giggle and just politly say thankyou but will try as hard as i can to change the subject as soon as possible..
    i'm actually ashamed to say i'v asked my mum to stop telling people i'v lost weight .. shes so proud of me, but i cant stand it, its like having a gigantic sign above my head saying 'look at me, look at me!' and then she starts touching my stomach, i just want the ground to open up and swallow me hole. . my sw group are so lovley too.. always complimenting me.. but i get even more embarressed.. because they always add 'i can't wait till i'm that weight' or ' you must feel amazing' and then i feel guilty?! Somtimes when i weigh in and have a unexpected good loss, i get really excited (were all very vocal at my group!) and when i got back into the 9stone somthin 2 weeks ago, before i even thought about it i screamed 'yes! im 9stone somthing!!' and all the ladies began joking that i should be more quiet about my good losses and that i should leave! LOL, i know they were deffinatly only joking, i always say somthing simalar if the person who weighs before me has a really good loss .. but as im the only target member and one of the smallest in the group i feel awful! i have to remind myself that i worked really hard to get here and i shouldnt be ashamed!
     
  13. MandyX

    MandyX Member

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    Got a compliment today, friend said, you have certainly lost some weight, but don't loose too much you look just fine. You just can't win, can you.
     
  14. cheekychinchilla

    cheekychinchilla Gold Member

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    Oooh, I hate the 'don't lose too much' or 'don't go too mad' I get from my Mum :rolleyes:

    I do get embarrassed when someone compliments me and usually think they're having a laugh. My Sister actually complimented me on how I looked the other day-I nearly fell over :p
    I did get a lovely compliment off a friend today who I haven't seen for a few months. She's been doing SW for almost a year now and has done amazingly, but she told me you could really see that I had lost weight. Felt lovely coming from her :D
     
  15. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    I have learnt how to accept a compliment with a thank you, but I still turn it into a negative by saying how much further I still have to go. My confidence has been knocked for so long, I still have a long way to go before I can be more positive with compliments that come my way!
     
  16. avisk

    avisk xx

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    Yes it is a good thing, of course it is. I was not meaning that you were deliberately being rude.

    But you said yourself that in the past you have said things like "'where's your dog', 'you must be joking' etc etc." to the person giving the compliment. So think about how you would feel if someone said that to you when you had just given them a compliment?

    I can understand only too well that this comes from embarrassment. Most people on this topic have mentioned being embarrassed.

    I was once told that being embarrassed was very selfish, and although I was very upset to be told that at the time, when I thought about it I realised it was true. If I feel embarrassed about a situation the only person I am thinking about is me. If I stop thinking about me, and think about the other person instead, I won't have time to feel embarrassed.

    It isn't easy, I know that, but it works if you practise.
     
  17. Debs154

    Debs154 Trying again!!

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    I agree with Avisk above - I love to give and receive compliments - it's part of the reward for working so hard and I think others deserve recognition for achievements.
    There's enough people who are negative or *****y about others - got to spread the love!
     
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  19. Debs154

    Debs154 Trying again!!

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    Oooh I've never had that asterisk thing before - it wasn't a really bad swear word lol!
     
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