Conventional woman i am not,but i will find a weight loss plan that suits my needs !!

Glad your feeling a bit better. Just to let you knoe I did 790 the week before i started ssing and lost 6lbs then the first week on ss i lost another 6lbsso dont worry that the 790 will st you back it wont it'll just make ss easier to get into.

Good luck and keep your chin up. xx
 
Hi Roch

Hope you're doing okay. I had a fantastic hen night thanks. We travelled to Nottingham in a limo and fire engine. Drank far too much. Is the wedding tomorrow, so looking forward to that. SSing not going too well, am debating still about going to WW. Kids back at school next week so I'm hoping I'll find the diet easier to stick to.

Take care.
 
Well as i sit here tonight i feel like i have taken the first small steps towards facing reality and issues that control my life.
I started this diary 2 weeks ago and over the past 12 days or so i have been having a hard time emotionally and have not been around.
In the past month i lost 24 pounds with sw and over the last 12 days i have gained most of that back infact 20lbs,so all the good work has just gone down the drain,i know some of it is water retention as i am suffering quite bad from that and been put on tabs from my doc.

I decided a couple of weeks ago to see a therapist for some talk therapy which i felt was a starting point for me, and encouraged me to see my doc a few days ago to be referred to a therapist.
Well out of the blue this afternoon i got a phone call from the therapist from my docs surgery and she asked me if i could come in to the surgery in 30 mins time as she had a cancellation,so i jumped at the chance.
She is a humanistic therapist and we spent an hour doing an assesment,i felt very comfortable with her and was able to open up to her about alot of issues concerning my childhood.
She has aggreed to set up weekly seessions for the next 10 weeks.
She asked me what do i expect out of thes ssessions and i told her i have no expectations just that i am on the bottom step of a ladder and that i can only go up but i am finding it hard and need some help.

I told her that i want to try cd again and i feel that my weight issues go back to my childhood and i feel i need to tackle the issue of emotional eating so i can try and sucseed at cd.
I feel depression is a stigma in our society and all these years i have not sought the help i need and today was my first step to helping myself emotionally which will lead to changing phyisically.

From tomorrow i am cutting out carbs for 2 days and on monday i will attempt ss again,TOTM has arrived today and am on antibiotics till monday,so that is why i will not try and ss tomorrow.
The thing is i have failed so many times,that i am scared to even say i am trying again,as deep down i dont believe in myself,and that is something i need to change !!!
 
Hiya Roch

I think the mix of CD for quick, safe weight loss and also professional counselling could well be the answer to your problems and I look forward to watching your progress over the next few months.

Go for it!

M.
 
HI Honey!!! Was wandering how you were doing.

I'm glad to hear you more positive and like Mike said the CD combined with the counselling might be just the ticket!!
You really havent failed - you're still trying to tackle this and you will succeed as long as long as you keep trying.

I think you are very right to cut down on the carbs for the next few days. I think though- and this is just my opinion that you maybe should give yourself a bit longer cutting out the carbs before ssing. It really is whenever you feel ready to go onto ss though - you're the only one who knows if you're ready. :)

Good luck - you can do this!!! pm me anytime :)
 
Thanks Mike for the message,i feel now i have taken the first step it hopefully will encourage me to stay positive and motivated x

Hey Helewn,how u doing,i know 2 days is not really a long time to cut out the carbs but as my eating has got out of control the past 12 days i dont want to gain any more.
From tomorrow onwards i will completely cut out carbs for 48 hrs and from previous experience on day 3 of doing this i am in ketosis so i will start ss and will be off my antibiotics.
Hope u have a nice evening xx
 
I am a big fan of counselling, especially if you have found a counsellor that you can really talk to.

I was really encouraged by your thread tittle and the way you expressed your expectations from the counselling was superb.

As always I wish you every success that you would wish for yourself Roch :)
 
I admire your brutally honest post. You have an incredible amount of hurting from an early age but thankfully you have a wonderful son to get you through.

If you can do CD with your blood sugars - go for it! you will melt them lbs off like butter.

You can do it I am sure.

Ivy
 
Hi Roch

So glad to hear that you have counselling in place, I feel sure that this will give you enormous insight into the reasons you overeat. I think we are all in agreement that getting your head in gear is fundamentally the way to find long term success with VLCDing and mantaining the weight loss.

Good luck with SSing on Monday.
 
Thanks chicken,my councellor pam was so easy to talk to and made me feel like i was in control of the situation which made me feel at ease.
Anyway chicken how r u doing hun !!

Thanks Ivy,i think that me admitting that my childhood was not an easy one was the first step to me healing myself.
I have failed so many times with cd and it makes me wonder can i really do ssing,i know that i have probs with my blood sugar levels and i am borderline diabetic so that is even more reason for me to lose weight ASAP.Thanks for such a kind messgae,have a nice night xx

You are right cheb and i just wish that i had taken these first small steps a long time ago maybe i would not be in such a bad way phyisically and emotionally now.
Hopefully my sessions will help me overcome alot of issues that i have had in my life since childhood so when i finally reach goal i will not only had achieved a phyisical achievement but emotionally i would of gained so much.
Just looked at your tracker,your goal weight is just round the corner girl u r nearly there,well done 2 u xx
 
Well am off to bed now,feel shattered and just finished cleaning the kitchen cant bear going to bed and the house is not tidy(gosh how sad that must sound lol)
Tomorrow i start cutting out the carbs completely till monday when i shoud be off my antibiotics and re start ssing.
Thanks for all your messages of support,sleep well xx
 
Well after reflecting on my session with the therapist yesterday and my decision to try ssing again i feel more possitve and happier inmyself.
Have decided to not wait till monday to restart and will start in the morning as i am finishing my antibiotics tonight got the dates wrongs as i thought they finished tomorrow.
Deep down i have to admit that i am scared of even admiting that i am restarting tomorrow as i have fallen of so many times and i feel that i must be so weak if i cant resist food.

Failure cant be an option for me this time i have promised Aaron that we will have an amazing holiday in the summer and i will be at a weight where i can join in with him in everything he wants to do which will be a first for me.
On the last 2 holidays i went on i had the embarrasment of people staring at me from the time we were on the plane and aaron had to help put the extention seatbelt on for me to every time i wanted to go in the pool and i covered up myself with a sarong especaially made for me that went right down to practically my ankles,and how i coukd not use the ladder on the pool as i was scared it would not take my weight so i had to heave myself all 27 stone out of the pool then try and get up from the floor believe me that was so embarassing for me.
There were so many of these embarssing momments on holiday and i feel sorry for Aaron as he gets angry when people stare at me.

There are so many things i want to do with Aaron that my weight has stopped me doing and i need to change all that b4 i get to old or he has left home.
So tomorrow i will try for the very last time again to ss,although i have said this b4 and many of u have read my post with me saying exactly that but i can honestly said that i feel like i cant get any lower and that the only way for me in now up.
 
good luck hun you can do it just keep telling yourself you can and you will. Being positive about it really does help. the minute you start to feel like you cant do it come straight on here and talk through it! Just keep picturing your holiday with aaron and that will keep you focused! you got so many friends on here to help you when things get tough but just believe in yourself and you will do it I have total faith in you! big hugs x
 
Roch - Have just read your whole diary, as never spotted it before, and think that you can definately do it. You have so many good reasons, you are doing this for you and your son, and not because the doc says so etc.

Maybe every time you feel yourself slipping, you should re read this, and go over those reasons? Imagine next summer when you can jump in the pool with your son, and do things like go out on a boat with him, and lie by the pool, just KNOWING how good you look.

Good luck!
 
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Roch, this is your time, you can so do this. Focus on that holiday, see yourself walking down the beach with Aaron, feeling normal and happy. This is it, go for it! Good luck and hugs,
 
im good thanks I have been really struggling since I went on my hols in July but not let myself put much on and im right back into it now, losses are a lot smaller and slower now but as long as its moving im happy! x
 
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