Crawling back on hands and knees

[wannabslim]

Hi guys,

As some of you may have noticed, Ive been away for a while. I went to Europe travelling for 2 weeks and have been back for a week and a half. Since stopping CD suddenly before my travels (I was feeling very emotional and threatened to cancel my travelling to my OH as i was so unhappy about the concept of not eating at all while away) and have since put on all the weight I lost beforehand including a few lbs that i lost the first time round on SS. In other words I have put on nearly a stone.

I am absolutely gutted and dont know what to do. Part of me wants to eat like a normal person and just be healthy but I KNOW i cant do this- I have tried and clearly failed. But when I SS I get fatigued really easily and my brainpower just isnt what it should be. I lose my social life and lose my 'edge'. I get paranoid and obsessed with the scales. I tried 790 but this just tempted me to eat things I couldnt.

I really want to go back onto SS and see the loss through to the end but I just dont know if Im strong enough. I need some real support- and not just my family keeping an eye on me and making me feel poo but proper support. But where can I get this? If I want to see this thru to the end is there professional help I can get to help me deal with the emotional issues CD throws up?

I have about a weeks supply of tetras (thats all i can stand) and am thinking about just starting tomorrow and getting on with it, but right now I just need some words of wisdom from you fantastic peeps! So please, any comments/suggestions/thoughts/questions which you think would be helpful would be much appreciated.

Phew! (sorry for the rant) Thanks for always being here guys!

Nikki xxx

 

[Hedgemag]

Hi Nikki
I know how hard this diet is believe me I faffed about so much at the begining of this year...then 1 day I said to myself thats it....I have had enough of being fat...I have got to do this for me and my health. Also being a CDC I had to practice what I preached.
I don't quite know why It happened but it was as tho a light was switched on and since then I have stuck to it 100%.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that you have to want this so much that nothing is going to stand in your way.

We are on here because we have a weight problem but as with a lot of us we need the support of people around us. Mini's is wonderful because you can come on here and get all the support from us, but in your heart of hearts you must do this for you,

I have rambled a bit, sorry,,does that make sense.

I do hope you can get back on the wagon it's not easy but we are there for you.

Can you talk to you're CDC and get some help and support there?

Good luck with your journey and keep posting.
Take Care
Maggie
XX

 

[wannabslim]

Hi Maggie,

Thanks so much- what you have said makes total sense! I think part of the problem for me is that I have switched CDCs 3 times and have only seen my new one once before I fell of the wagon before travelling. Im not afraid of going back to her but I suppose I am a bit ashamed! She has a rather 'tough love' approach and Im not sure I really feel comfortable sharing my emotions with her yet.

I do really want this so much, I just hope thats enough! Thanks for your support hun x