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DarceyRose' Shame Not Included Calorie Counting Diary

Well here i am...again....4 stones heavier than when i first opened a diary here on mini's. The diary which i didn't even reply once too.
Oh dear....i'd like to say that i happily gave up dieting and accepted myself and all the weight gain. I wish that were true.
I didn't. I tried diet after diet and gave up after a few days, exercise programs, meal replacements, sugar elimination, counting carbs, i just could not stick to anything. I tried intuitive eating and body positivity as a way of embracing what is. I didn't and still don't hate myself, but i hate the way i feel being this overweight.
I could go on and on, but i need to accept responsibility that this problem will not just go away and i need to deal with it in the best way i know how. I want and deserve a healthy body and mind. So i will do my best to get there....one day at a time....no hard and fast rules....just stick to a calorie budget and keep ploughing on.

I don't want to eliminate any foods (been there, done that, hello rebound weight gain)
I want to eat foods i enjoy, move my body a bit and see where it goes.
This flies in the face of having a structured eating and exercise plan but i will rebel against anything if i don't enjoy doing it.

So this leads me to calorie counting on my terms. I am setting myself a calories goal of around 1,200. Yes i know its low....that may change in time but for now, it suits me.
Oh and no shame. When has shame ever worked for me? Never. I will not shame myself or hate myself for where i am. I have a wonderful husband and 3 beautiful children who adore me no matter what, but i need to now work on myself.....so here goes...

Breakfast: I'm not a breakfast eater so i use milk for coffees which keeps ok until lunch 126 Calories
Lunch: One slice of toast with pate and redcurrant jelly (its a thing of mine :)) 281 Calories

I will record dinner and snack later on tonight. Now i know this doesn't look a lot at the moment, but my problem has never been big meals. I am a terrible grazer, I can easily put away 3 or 4 packets of crisps, half a packet of biscuits, a couple of chocolate bars, a bowl of sweet cereal and a cake, plus whatever i am cooking for the family. So let's just see how this pans out. No judgements.

My recorded weight today was 15st 10 pounds (220 Pounds)


To be updated.....
 
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Good luck to you.
I am following Slumming World, but increasingly have been calorie counting as well (using My Fitness Pal) to re-educate myself on portion sizes and choices. I’ll follow your diary with interest
Thank you, I followed SW for a while and out of all of them i liked it the most but the amount of fibre was bloating me quite badly and i wasn't losing much weight. Good luck with your journey xx
 
Welcome back.

Do what you feel is right for you. No one here will judge you. :)

Thank you so much.


So the rest of the evening has gone very well. Took the dog for a long walk with the family and i'm definitely feeling it now in my legs.


For dinner i had a Green Thai Curry with Rice which came in at 342 Calories followed by a Weight watchers brownie ice cream dessert pot which was 167 calories and a miniature bottle of wine which was 130 calories

I
will have a milky coffee tonight which will bring me out at about 1,150 calories for the day. I'm ok with that and i will see this first day as a success :)
 




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