Deep Breath...and GO!

[Seanin]

Alright. I haven't written a diary since I was 12, but it kept me sane then and I'm hoping it'll do the same now - especially now.

I had my first SW meeting today, got all the paraphenalia, the pep talk, the motivation from watching other members receive their awards and my own Club 10 target of 10st 2lbs. I'm now 11st 4lbs, so that's 16lbs to go until I hit my first goal.

Ideally, I'm aiming for an end goal weight of 9st 5lbs. I'm not very tall - only 5ft3 - so I reckon that's a healthy range.

I've spent my entire teenage and adult life struggling with food and my weight, generally yo-yoing up and down quite a lot, especially after having two children. I'm so, so tired of yo-yoing now. Every time I reach 10st, my weight just seems to snowball and before I know it, there I am at least 11st wondering how and why I've done it to myself again. Joining SW is my attempt (hopefully the first and only one) to end that cycle and stop battling with myself.

I've done all kinds of diets before, including Lipotrim, which I wouldn't ever do again. I may have dropped 3 stone after having my youngest child, but I felt and looked so ill as the pounds fell off within a month. It also left me with a hideous belly as I lost my babyweight far too quickly.

This time, it isn't even so much about losing the weight. It could be worse, and I've had more to shift in the past. Instead, this is about teaching myself to respect my body enough so that I don't hurl myself off goal in a shower of carbohydrates and sweets (my arch enemies). I'm going to learn to enjoy exercise as much for the mental and emotional benefits as anything else - nothing over the top, just some walking and maybe putting a bit more energy into the housework - because if I'm being honest...well, I'm a lazy sloth if given half a chance.

So, here's what I'm aiming for:

First Goal: 10st 7lbs

Club 10 Target: 10st 2lbs

Second Goal: 9st 7lbs

Third and Final Goal: 9st - 9st 4lbs - I'll be happy in that bracket, though in a perfect world I'd like to hover around 9st, no more and no less.

Most importantly, this time I am promising myself that once I hit 10st, I won't become complacent and forget about my ideal weight. I'm going to keep going - this is a lifestyle change, not a diet, and I deserve to succeed with it.

 

[CatherineBee]

Your very last sentence tells me you'll do it. Sounds like in the past you've seen it as a diet rather than a lifestyle change. Wishing you all the luck in the world!xx

 

[Seanin]

Thanks Catherine

Well, that's my first day almost over with - just back from my walk (managed to haul my backside out despite not feeling bothered) and I'm really happy with how it's been. I only decided on Tuesday evening that I needed to tackle my weight; in two days, I've gone from over-eating, drinking zero water, eating zero fruit or veg and doing zero exercise to having commited to making a real change for my own benefit.

I'll be doing a proper shop tomorrow and it's nice knowing I can fill my fridge with plenty of food and not feel guilty about munching on it anytime I like - it just has to be the right food! I actually ate a pack of berries today and enjoyed them, which stunned me to the core as I have never been a fruit eater.

I did feel pretty frumpy during my walk, but then I envisaged what the walking was doing for me and soon pulled my chin up. If I can keep this going (and I will), I'll feel like a totally new woman in no time at all. Then I can tackle my smoking, nail biting and myriad of other bad habits...but I'll worry about those once I've tackled this as it's always been my biggest demon.

 

[Seanin]

Day two and I've tackled my grocery shop - pretty impressed if I say so myself!

Got tons and tons of fruit and veg, only I was quite selective as I know myself too well; if I bought the first thing that came into view or anything I haven't tried before, I'd be unlikely to eat it. So, I ensured that I only picked up the things I know I'll finish off.

I also got lots of fresh lean meat, some salami and bacon, herbs and spices and Quark plus fat free yoghurt. I've basically got a syn-free fridge, except for the things in there that are for the kids and my boyfriend.

On the other hand, I was pretty disgusted when I measured out how much Vermouth I can enjoy - 50ml is nothing! I normally drink the stuff straight, but if I want to keep the syns nice and low I'll have to learn to mix it with something syn-free as well as limit how much I drink. I never go mad on alcohol, though, so perhaps I'm panicking over nothing. I'll keep it to one night a week (Saturday...I'll confess to usually having a tipple on a Friday night, guess it's time to wave bye bye to that) and I'm already planning on extra exercise at the weekend - so we'll see what the news is at weigh in and if I think it's hindered my loss, I'll tone it down.

So, today I'm going to munch on lots of grapes, an apple or two, and some cold meats as well as my lunch and dinner, not to mention drinking plenty of water. The difference the water has made already is astounding. I have tons and tons of energy and my lazy attitude seems to have vanished completely; I feel so much healthier already.

My agenda for the weekend is this:
Today - a lunch of fat-free yoghurt, some cold meats with a big salad and some fruit (cherries, grapes and an apple), some housework and a good half hour walk this evening, followed by a dinner of syn-free sausages roasted in the oven with baby corn and mangetout, and some cous-cous on the side. Yum-yum-yum.

Tomorrow: Breakfast will be muesli with fat-free yoghurt and a banana plus my usual morning coffee (one syn, I like a sugar in there). After that's settled, I'm off out for a very long and leisurely walk.

For lunch I want to experiment and try a SW recipe - the onion and potato tortilla looks good - and beef it up with lots of salad.

Dinner will be a baked potato (or 2, they're syn free with no fat) with bacon, onion, mushroom and watercress dressed in a little balsamic vinegar...I'm going to experiment with Quark and see if I can't come up with a yummy syn-free hot dressing.

Snacks will be grapes, cherries and apples and probably a few slices of salami in between meals.

And as for Sunday, I'll tackle the next 36 hours first and work it out afterwards - but it'll definitely involve another long walk.

 

[Seanin]

It's Saturday and Day Three...oooo-er.

I have to put in here that I am *so* pleased with myself Last night was really hard - I wanted to to give in so badly and munch on sweets, I swear they were almost talking to me - but I didn't! I decided to have a pint of water and see how I felt after that, and by the time I was halfway through the water I'd completely forgotten about the urge to cave I'll keep that one in mind.

So now the kids are away to their dad's until tomorrow, and I'm going to have some breakfast, do some housework and go out for a big walk before winding down this evening with my mates and a few drinks.

I wish Thursday would hurry up, I'm starting to get excited/nervous about weigh-in.