Diary of Denial

Discussion in 'Slimming World - Weight Loss Diary' started by cery, 8 April 2014.

  1. cery

    cery Well-Known Member

    Where to begin?! I have been overweight since my early 20's. It coincided, I feel, with moving out of home and binge eating all the crap I had been limited to until now. Then, whenever I got into a relationship, I became contented and fatter. My weight flipped between 16 stone and 24 stone. I met my now hubster in 2006 and have put on 5 stone since then. Some of that is giving up smoking - since 2006 yay:clap:, some of it is having my two beautiful children back to back and having rubbish pregnancies - because of this I felt sorry for myself and, well, you know the drill. Most of it was me and my mindset however. Huge portions, that's my biggest downfall, oh and a love affair with chocolate. I love food. I had horrendous post natal depression after my babies and used food to punish myself which made me feel worse, and round and round it goes.

    Anyways, after counselling and meds that became a distant memory and I always meant to "get around" to loosing weight. You name it, I tried it. Weight Watchers, Slimming World, SlimFast, Lighter Life, Orlistat.... Must have spent a fortune over the years :eek: Thing is, I am a master of avoiding mirrors, or tilting them so it doesn't look so bad. I am also happy, in love and a proud mama. I haven't managed to loose weight for the best day of my life, my wedding, but it was still the best day of my life.

    I started running on New Years Day, the couch to 5k thing that everyone seems to be doing. I went every other day, rain or shine until I injured my hip mid February. Just started again. My neighbour and good friend came over for a cuppa and a natter 3 weeks ago. She's skinny, why are they always skinny?! ;) Anyways she announces she is going to Slimming World that night, would I go with her, and I thought, why not, it's time.

    We got told off for being late, new members must be in by 7.30! We were new, so how would we know this?! :8855: I stepped on those scales, fully dressed, pre toilet (sorry tmi), and in the evening, avoiding more denial tricks and weighed in at 21 stone 5 lbs. Wowsers. The denial master in me doesn't want to say any more than that right now other than I am attempting to change that number and need support to do it.

    Things that will help me will be going to meetings this time rather than hiding behind my computer and getting fed up after week 3. Having a friend to go with means no escape or excuses!

    First week is always full of determination. Spent a small fortune in Tesco buying loads of fresh foods and made it through the first week with ease. First weigh in - 4lbs gone :)

    Week 2 has been a pain in the ass. We had a weekend with the in laws planned and Chinese takeway. I carefully worked out the syn values for the meal I chose and was so proud I avoided temptation - the smells of prawn toast, crispy wanton, satay sauce.... I even popped to the local shop and picked up some fat free yogurt and strawberries to combat the post-Chinese nibbles later. Except I found afterwards it wasn't free. Argh. The next day there was some confusion about staying for evening meal, we thought it was just the kids, they thought it was all of us and before I know it there is a plate of about 7387493 syns. Bugger.

    Weigh in tonight :)
  2. cery

    cery Well-Known Member

    Well and truly surprised, 4.5 lbs off tonight so managed to get my half stone award and slimmer of the week:scale:
  3. LadyAlexandra

    LadyAlexandra Active Member

    Well done on the weight loss! Your will power is obviously stronger than mine! Haha! Is there anything making all of this easier for you? Or things you avoid? (Apart from naughty food obviously)
  4. cery

    cery Well-Known Member

    Nothing I can think of! Although maybe it's because I haven't ​got a goal in sight, so I'm not putting that pressure on myself then getting into my self-ugh cycle :)
  5. cery

    cery Well-Known Member

    Extra Easy day today, I can have 5-20 syns per day

    A - 350mls skimmed milk
    B - 2 x Weetabix

    Breakfast: 2 Weetabix with skimmed milk and chopped banana

    Lunch: Mushrooms, bacon and baked beans
    Weight Watchers fat free yogurt
    Hi-fi Rocky Road bar - 3 syns

    Snack: Mini Cheddars - need to go shopping! 6.5 syns

    Dinner: 2.5 Tesco healthy eating sausages - 2.5 syns
    1 tbsp hoisin sauce - 2 syns
    1 tbsp soy sauce
    green beans
    mashed potato

    15g maltesers - 4 syns

    4 cups of tea 1 large glass no added sugar juice

    Total: 18/20 syns

    Not my best of days in terms of quality of food but shopping day tomorrow :)
    Last edited: 10 April 2014
  6. SarahButterfly

    SarahButterfly Well-Known Member

    Congrats on your weight loss so far! I look forward to following your diary. I'm new to SW- starting next Monday eek! Dreading that first weigh in.
  7. Jackie65

    Jackie65 Well-Known Member

    Just noticed you have a diary, here to sub, maybe a little goal will help like getting through the day on track....?
  8. cery

    cery Well-Known Member

    Went for a run this morning, doing the couch to 5k and on week 2

    A - 350mls semi skimmed milk
    B - 2 weetabix

    Breakfast - 2 weetabix with chopped banana and skimmed milk
    cup of tea

    large glass no added sugar squash

    Lunch - pasta, quorn pieces, tomato, red pepper, celery and cucumber mixed with fat free fromage frais
    cup of tea

    Snack - Hi fi light bar - 3syns

    Dinner - Roast gammon, green beans, sweetcorn, carrots, roast potatoes, gravy (1syn)

    80g butterfingers 7

    11/20 syns

    2 cups of tea, 1 glass nas juice, 2 glasses diet cherry coke
    Last edited: 11 April 2014
  9. cery

    cery Well-Known Member

    One of those days today where I preplanned my tea and made with the best intentions thinking rice noodles were free and they weren't. No biggie I guess, I'm still well within my syns, but niggles me just the same :p

    A - 350 mls skimmed milk
    B - 2 x Weetabix

    Breakfast - Weetabix with chopped apple and banana

    Lunch - Pasta with tuna, green pepper, celery, tomato, cucumber, mushrooms and fat free fromage frais
    Hi fi light bar - 3 syns

    Dinner - Stir fry beef with Teriyaki sauce (4syns 2 tbsps), carrot, pak choi, green pepper, spring onion, cabbage and bean sprouts. Quarter bag of Tesco fresh rice noodles (3.5 syns)

    Girls catch up night so we are having cake in a mug (2 syns) and sw chips with lighter than light mayo (0.5 syns)

    13/20 syns
  10. Jackie65

    Jackie65 Well-Known Member

    Don't you just hate it when you think your being good :( but hey at least your being good with the girls tonight would have been so easy to think I'll just have a little treat..... I know I would. Have fun x
  11. cery

    cery Well-Known Member

    I am officially obsessed with the cake in a mug! My friend made me one last night and I had one today after lunch, deciding whether it would be bad to have another one now lol.

    Breakfast - 2x weetabix (B) chopped grapes and banana, milk (A)

    Lunch - Grilled chicken salad from McDonald's, no sauce (1 syn), Sprite Zero, cake in a mug! (1.5 syns)

    Dinner - Creamy chicken korma from the Fakeaway book, 1 mini naan (7 syns)
  12. cery

    cery Well-Known Member

    Full fulllll FULLLLL! Just made the chicken and ham lattice pies, yummy but absolutely bloated and weigh in soon :/ Also had a wobble on Sunday, took the kids to the pictures and we all shared a salty popcorn - soooo many syns I had no idea :( Onwards and upwards though, hopefully not the scales though lol
  13. SarahButterfly

    SarahButterfly Well-Known Member

    Good luck with weigh in!

    Just wondering why you can have 20 syns per day? When I joined I was told between 5 and 15 per day. Wondered if it was different for everyone?
  14. cery

    cery Well-Known Member

    I am assuming it is because of my starting weight, for most people it is 5 - 15 syns a day :)
  15. cery

    cery Well-Known Member

  16. cery

    cery Well-Known Member

    Feeling positive today - always the same after going to group :p Lovely day as well so going to get out in the garden with the kids

    Breakfast - 2 x weetabix (B) with skimmed milk (A) grapes and banana, cup of tea
  17. Jackie65

    Jackie65 Well-Known Member

    Hey Cery well done on your loss, school hols will be over soon :( but least we will be able to get back into a routine
  18. Pix1966

    Pix1966 Well-Known Member

    Hi lovely ... Just found your diary do I'm saying hello so I don't lose it again. Have a good day
  19. Jackie65

    Jackie65 Well-Known Member

  20. cery

    cery Well-Known Member

    I'm fine! Just been very neglectful of my diary, oops! Lost 1.5 lbs on Tuesday yay!

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