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Dilemma...try to get pg now or wait til I've lost more weight?

Hiya, firstly, just want to wish all you pregnant ladies all the best!

Secondly, I'm in a dilemma and it's really getting me down. I've got heaps of weight to lose (bout 10 stone'ish) but my husband and I desperately want a baby and I'm in my late 30's and well I won't let us try until I've lost a lot of the bulk weight. I'm scared that falling pg when so overweight will be a nightmare. What if my weight had an adverse effect on my child, on my health, my mobility? And the thing is, we don't even know if we can even conceive!

I don't know if I'm putting barriers up when what I should just do is relax and try, if we fall pregnant then my body is obviously ready and if we don't, I keep counting my calories and exercising to shift the weight and hopefully we'll fall pg.

I'm also paranoid that if I did fall pregnant, I'd get grief from the docs/midwives and I don't need lectures and to be made to feel guilty that I'm risking my baby.

But.........I am also running out of time too in a way, so what do I do?? I need some advice and personal experience from those who have been there and done that!


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we got preg by accident and I've got tons to lose I personally would try and lose weight. I've had very high Bp throughout and also gestestional diabetes also pelvic opening. i do have other health issues too.
I was down for bypass sept but that has had to be put on hold as having section thurs.
That's just my personal views as I have struggled and people are so judgemental too.
Wishing you well whatever you decide

I've put on 16lbs but that is in 10 wks since I've know. The scans were fine I've had to have scan every two wks for growth.
My Gp has been hugely supportive as I had gone to see her a few wks before and had internal and pelvic check but it wasnt picked up. I had had 3 neg tests. She couldn't do enough for me as it was such a huge shock.
I'm off to hosp tonight for section first thing tom so will be not around for few days hope it goes ok for you


Purple Hugs

Loves weight.. training!
S: 13st5.5lb C: 12st13lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 32.1 Loss: 0st6.5lb(3.47%)
Firstly welcome! :)

No one can really 'tell you' what is best.. but I can share my experiences.
I conceived 11 years ago within about 8 months and had my DD. I was 14 st (i'm 5'3") at the time of conception and a stone heavier at her birth - when I came home I'd lost the entire amount as it was all 'baby' and what have you.
I tried for 8 YEARS to conceive this baby, had 1 early miscarriage but other than that, well I wasn't 'lucky'. But in this time I had escalated to 17 stone.
I lost 4 stone a few years ago - around the same time I had my miscarriage
Then came onto the Cambridge diet to lose more weight as my weight had gone up to 15 stone - that was in January this year.
I wasn't trying to get pregnant - but wasn't on birth control for so many years we had accepted it would never happen (and had actually adopted a little girl - who is lovely).

So. here we are with our 'cambridge' baby! :D I had dropped down to 12 and a half stone.
I am currently 1 stone up on that, but half a stone was before I found out I was pregnant as we went on holiday and I failed to be 'good' lol. The other half stone has gone on since finding out I'm pregnant so that is the only pregnancy weight I'm counting.
I'm 13st 8lb at the moment and have been for a few weeks now so that is my aim to stick around there as much as I can.

You CAN do Slimming world while pregnant so all is not lost.

My personal advice would be to use a diet like Cambridge or such where you lose a fair amount of weight each week (so see dramatic losses that will help you fall pregnant I'm sure). And to try to fall pregnant IF and when you fall pregnant you'd need to stop Cambridge (as it's too low cal for pregnancy) and then you could take up Slimming world if you wanted.

But as I say.. only YOU know if you really want a baby.. and what's in your heart/mind. ((hugs))


Gold Member
S: 17st8lb C: 16st12lb G: 14st0lb BMI: 34.8 Loss: 0st10lb(4.07%)
I would say similar. I was 17 stone this time last year but wanted to lose some before I tried for a baby. I lost 4 stone on cambrigde and wanted to lose some more before I fell pregnant, I thought it wouldtake months but I fell pregnant immediately. I am so glad I lost the weight first as I have put on more than a stone already. I wish I had lost about another stone first, but came under pressure from others not to lose anymore. I am expecting that I may put on another stone and I think I would have felt really uncomfortable if I hadnt lost the weight first. I hope that helps a little
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My personal experience is that I was 34, newly married and we wanted to start a family sooner rather than later, especially as I've always had very irregular periods so I wasn't sure it would be easy to get pregnant. I was about 7 stone overweight and very worried as the family planning clinic were very rude and frightening about conceiving when overweight. Personally I think they exaggerate because I've since seen friends sail through pregnancies who are much bigger than I was, but yes, it obviously is easiest and best at a healthy weight.

Anyway, I started at a BMI of about 40 I think. Did lighter life and got down to about 28-29 BMI. At that point my GP told me he saw no reason to wait until I had a normal BMI and that women usually conceive easiest when they're a little bit overweight.
I got pregnant in the first month of trying - the VLCDs certainly seem to help you conceive!
As it happens, my pregnancy was a total nightmare but for reasons entirely unrelated to being overweight and at the end it all worked out fine and baby and I are both healthy.
Anyway, for what it's worth, I'd say do a VLCD, with full commitment and then in about 6 months you'd be slim enough to try to conceive. It's a different mindset trying to lose weight for a baby as you're not really aiming for goal and the perfect body as you know your body will change in pregnancy.

The VLCDs are very effective and fast. They're not fun but they do work and they'll get you to your goal quicker than anything else which is probably important to you at the moment.

Best of luck. If you want a baby, then it is the most wonderful reason to diet. Your own little baby is just the most amazing thing you'll ever see. x

Purple Hugs

Loves weight.. training!
S: 13st5.5lb C: 12st13lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 32.1 Loss: 0st6.5lb(3.47%)
Another VLCD baby eh! lol certainly seems to work for sure ((hugs)) Congrats - sorry your pregnancy was a nightmare though.


Gold Member
S: 20st4.5lb C: 17st13lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 41.8 Loss: 2st5.5lb(11.78%)
I agree that the VLCD route would be a great one to take, one of the reasons Im losing weight is id love to have a baby sometime soon, but I didnt want to get pregnant at 18 stone and then pile even more on. Im 3 stone down in 10 weeks with LL, a boost like that would be great. Good luck whatever you decide to do xxx
Moonflower, hope everything went well and you're cuddling your wee bundle of joy and would love to know how you got on and whether you had a boy or a girl!

Oh.....and thank you all for your replies, they've been really helpful.

I'm currently counting calories and have lost circa 10lbs in 2 weeks and have cut sugar, bread and pasta out of my diet. I've also been doing my wiifit at least once a day and so far so good. The problem I have is that I'd like to give the weightloss a right good old start so the thought of losing 3st in 10 weeks is a really attractive one, with the aim of counting calories thereafter.

However, I've never tried the CD diet (don't even know what VLCD is :sigh:) nor have I tried LL. I have this preconceived idea that its all milkshakes n energy bars and I don't do milkshakes.....in fact I'm not good at liquids, I find it easier to eat something I don't like than drink something.

But........when I make my mind up to do something I tend to stick to it, so maybe a 12 week plan or whatever is exactly what I need to spur me on. If I could lose a substantial amount it would make me feel so much better about myself and motivate me to keep going.

Humph, just confused. :(

Purple Hugs

Loves weight.. training!
S: 13st5.5lb C: 12st13lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 32.1 Loss: 0st6.5lb(3.47%)
VLCD is a 'very low calorie diet' - it's the likes of sole source on Cambridge, Lighter Life, Lipotrim (I think) and the likes.

I can only talk about Cambridge as I've not done the others, but it's milkshakes, soups and bars. you can have sole source plus which is adding one meal and if you are over a certain weight you have to do this unless you get GP form signed (to say they know not as consent).
CD is amazing in that after the first few days you are never hungry.. honestly! taking in your packs and water can become hard sometimes. You go into Ketosis and it stops you being hungry as you burn your own fat as 'fuel'. But it's not for everyone. It's just great at getting fast results - that keep you motivated and help you get to goal quicker, and when it comes to conceiving well it'll topsy turvey your cycle a little and I firmly believe this helps conceive - certainly did with me! lol

You'll average a stone a month if you stick to plan. Definately worth a think. ((hugs))


Gold Member
S: 20st4.5lb C: 17st13lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 41.8 Loss: 2st5.5lb(11.78%)
Yes with LL, its soups, shakes, bars and porridge. You commit yourself to a 14 week foundation period, I would honestly say as a kick start to weight loss its fantastic x
Rainbow, how did you find it tho? Were you not starving, having dizzy spells? Also, do you not feel kinda sick at the thought of only eating packet stuff? Or, did you just see it as a short term goal? How expensive is it?

Sorry, I've loads of questions.


Gold Member
S: 20st4.5lb C: 17st13lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 41.8 Loss: 2st5.5lb(11.78%)
Ive found it unbelievably easy, I never thought I'D be able to do it, thought it was for other, stronger willed, more determined people, but ive suprosed myself, Ive done it (so far) ive never strayed, never cheated and fell damn proud of myself lol! You're not hungry at all as you are in ketosis, so thats not an issue, nope not been dizzy at all! had a headache for the first three days, but nothing major. Ive seen it as a short term and long term 'project' the foodpacks are only for the short term, but the counselling sessions are something which help you deal with issues in order to cope with the long term. Its £66 a week, which initially sounds expensive, however, if you add up how much you spend on food at the moment its prob not too different (I know it wasnt for me anyway) good luck and let us know what you decide xxx


Silver Member
S: 20st3lb C: 19st11lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 49.1 Loss: 0st6lb(2.12%)
Ideally if u could lose weight u would feel better for it. Im on my 3rd preg. 1st i was correct weight and put loads on. 2nd i was over weight and only put on 8lbs. I was about 4-5 st over weight then. It didnt cause me any problems. This time round im about 7-8 st over weight so no how u feel. My gp was great! said not to worry about the weight this time until after i have the baby. the midwife has been great so far too. though i will be under a consultant ante natal. But so far so good. I dont have a great apetite at the moment so am down a stone from when i fell pregnant, so if the worst comes to the worst i wouldnt mind not goin over the start weight.

Only u can decide what to do. I didnt think id fall preg so fast being this weight, so was shocked when i fell pg the 1st month of trying. u may be the same or u may take time. either way if u start healthy eating in the meantime its good for u and the future baby to be.

Good luck with whatever u decide and will look forward to seeing u here when u do fall pregnant xx
You ladies are giving me all such good advice and really, I know in my heart what I need to do, you have all just confirmed it.......it's just such a mountain to climb sometimes I don't know how to start :sigh:

I've looked at all the vlcd plans and I don't think its for me just now, I need to have a good stab at what I'm currently doing and see how that works, before writing it off. I am losing weight steadily and feel good and not restricted or resentful so it must be good. Regardless, of the weight situation we've decided that we're going to TTC from December onwards, so I just need to get exercising more and counting my calories.

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