Does my enjoyment of life revolve around food?

[Memphis]

Hi everyone,

I'm new here and on day two of CD. Now I'm actually finding it ok. I'm not hungry and haven't had a bad headache..just a sort of an ache at times. I've been drinking plenty of water and am completely dedicated to sticking to this 100% as my size has been creeping ever bigger and it's starting to get me down.

Today being Saturday, I have plans to go to the cinema with a friend and then to a gig. I'm determined that I'm just going to stick to the water and at the cinema I'll have a black coffee.

But I'm starting to think about why I look forward to things. Part of me can't help but feel disappointed that I won't be having my usual popcorn. And when I go out later on..that I won't be glugging a beer (I know it's terrible...)

I have a very supportive partner in all of this, but it's starting to strike me how much of our social life revolves around eating and drinking. We won't be cooking together...enjoying a bottle of wine in front of the telly during the week...treating ourselves to a takeaway and a film etc.

These practices are all the reasons why I'm fat..but is food/drink really how I get my enjoyment in life? Isn't that sad?

When I have something planned am I looking forward to the company of my friends? Or just whatever junk food I can stuff in my gob?

I am completely committed to sticking to this diet, don't get me wrong. I'm just musing about why I have given food the level of importance in my life that it obviously has.

Does anybody else ever feel like this? Or will it pass?

 

[Watergirl]

I can completely understand where you are coming from Memphis and this diet has made me realise that.

I have always been focused on food and for me this diet is as much about changing that mindset as losing the weight.

I find that I think about what to have for breakfast the second I wake up. From then on I think about what to have for lunch. There will be numerous things that I'd like and I ponder over it for hours.

I never really pick, but portion size and nice meals is my problem. I will then think about what OH and I can have for tea, shall we get wine? pudding?

If I've had a bad day I might suggest going for a meal or even if I've had a really good day (to celebrate). I use food in every area of my life. If I'm happy or sad. I never feel full and all of my social activities will revolve around food.

I asked my OH last night - "don't you ever eat just because you like the taste of things or do you always wait till you're hungry" and he said he only ever eats when he's hungry or what's the point.

I think that perhaps you and I need to learn to enjoy things without food and drink! x

 

[EllieMellie]

Hi Memphis
I know exactly what you mean. I am on day 4 and although I am not hungry I miss real food. Saturday nights for me are all about a takeaway and a bottle of wine. Am lucky that I live alone so I have nothing to pick on in the fridge. All I can suggest is that you remember that this isn't forever and you will relearn some eating habits. Food and drink are a massive part of all our social lives, and it is really really hard.
All I can suggest is that you distract yourself as much as possible. Sounds like you have a nice partner, maybe you can think of stuff to do together that doesn't involve food. (Apart from the obvious ) xx

 

[Lexie_dog]

I'm the same, food is such an emotional and social thing.

I feel slightly left out when hubby was having dinner because its one of the few times I earmark that we do nothing ele but eat and relax. Now though he has dinner and I have shake instead.

I also get him to help me cook his dinner, or at least talk to me whilst I'm doing it. I find that helps.

 

[curlywurly1234]

Hi..
Just wanted to wish you luck on your cd journey... I totally agree with you and I think its the same for most of us thats why alot of us are here..
It is a hard diet but so worth it when you see the results.. I must admit going out for dinner isnt quite the same when your not eating but I guess its good to catch up with friends and I have done it alot but sometimes I do put of making to many Saturday night arrangments as it isnt so enjoyable watching everyone else..

Good luck and stay motivated your be at your target before you know it. x

 

[icemoose]

Hiya

Dieting does tend to come down to why you eat as opposed to what you eat and I was a big one for linking any emotional event with eating, so whether it was a celebration or a nice meal out with friends or a bag of crisps on the sofa to cheer up it tended to revolve around food.

But ultimately you can change that relationship and although still enjoy food you can realise that actually being with friends & family and significant others is what actually brings happyness as opposed to some food.

But you are on a journey! And the fact you are looking at why you do what you do is a fantastic way of changing things.

Keep on the journey and you'll be set.

Mike

 

[Tamgredan]

Food must have been a massive part of my life and it must have been always in my thoughts, becasue, not ive totally given it up, my house have never been so clean & tiday and ive loads of time to think about other things, like pampering myself as a treat.
I can definately understand why and how i got fat. CD is defiantely teaching me alot about my relationship with food....im hoping after my 100 day challenge my craving will have surpressed and i have a less dependancy on food.

 

[Memphis]

Thanks for all your replies - it helps to hear them. I think you are all right that this is going to help me look at my relationship with food. I didn't expect to be getting so introspective after two days lol!
I'm finding today easier than yesterday...and I managed a whole night out with mates and didn't feel like I was missing out on anything.
I have quite an active social life and I'm just hoping that I continue to enjoy it as much as usual. And I'd be sad to discover that all this time what I've really been enjoying is the food and drink, and not hanging out with my friends.

 

[tillyfloss]

I think this is such a good thread.
In the past whenever I have booked a holiday, or even a day out, one of the first thigns I have looked at, is where the local resteraunts are, where we will eat. When I book a hotel I always looked at the hotel resteraunt, when I made plans to see family or friends, it always involved a meal. Friends coming around? cook them a meal!
If I was happy, we would go out for a meal to celebrate, if things went bad, I would sit and comfort eat!
I used to know a girl who often had friends around, we might watch a movie, play cards, etc etc.. had such a laugh... but we never ate... Never thought about it at the time as it wasn't necessary to what we were doing.. But i used to feel almost cheated when i got home!
Needless to say my friend was and is slim.
Yes of course we can still eat, and socialise around food, BUT we shouldn't be planning our life around food! I know I will eat normally again, I know i will eat fattening foods again, BUT those foods will never again be the mainstay of my diet or in fact the most important parts of my life!
I think it is so important to face up to what made us fat in the first place, otherwise this journey will just be a return ticket back to where we started.

x

 

[Memphis]

It's interesting to hear people mention their friends or partners who simply eat when hungry and are thin.
Did anyone read Paul McKenna's I Can Make You Thin? He talks a lot about how if we simply model our behaviour on thin people, our thought processes will follow and we will lose weight. He says that naturally slim people eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. And he says that if we stick to those rules rigidly, then we can eat whatever we want and lose weight.
It's a good theory..but I didn't really work for me. I have become someone who eats ALL the time...and never stopping when full. In fact I've grown to love the feeling of being stuffed! That's embarrassing to admit.
Today I am feeling good. I have loads of energy compared to yesterday. And the thought of stuffing my face feels very far away.
I also have to add that coming on here is the best motivation. I'd recommend it to anyone who is on a diet and wanting to stick to it.

 

[chipstick87]

hey there,

I'm a student at Uni and my boyfriend who I live with is french so most of my world revolves around food and drink! I'm only on say 4 of SS but in that time I have managed a night out down the pub, a house party and a BBQ on the beach...and I'm still 100%! Trust me - you'll be so proud of yoursekf whenyou accomplish things like that. I NEVER thought i'd be able to do it - but I have

Keep remembering WHY you are doing this diet and it will reinforce how you need to change the way you think about food and it's relationship with you

Good luck on your journey

Jacqui xxx