Don't Be Ashamed!

oxfordruse

This Time It's Personal!
I feel so good right now that I just wanted to send a quick message of hope specifically for all restarters out there.

To all those who've done CD before, and achieved great success, only to have undone all or some of it over months or years: don't be ashamed.

I lost a ton of weight (the first ticker in my signature) a couple of years ago, and ended up putting most back on. I didn't move up the steps, I neglected everything I'd learned, and went back to my old ways. Some people might say I 'failed'.

I'm four weeks into my final restart (I say 'final' because I refuse to say 'second' - I won't need a 'third'!) and, 22lb down, I can honestly say:

I'M GLAD I 'FAILED' THE FIRST TIME!

That time, I learned nothing. I was so amazed by the weight loss, that the loss became the end goal. I didn't think about *why* I'd got that big in the first place. I didn't reflect on my relationship with food. I didn't plan how I was going to overcome that. By the end, losing weight was my only aim.

Things are so different this time. OK, the losses are slower; it's more boring; I'm just not as enthusiastic about the whole thing. But: this second time has offered me revelations that I didn't pick up the first time; I know exactly what not to do; I have a plan; and, above all, I've realized that I don't ever want to have to do this again.

When I was deciding whether to (a) go back on CD with my tail between my legs, or (b) have another blowout, you know what I did? Tossed a coin. Heads was (a); tails was (b).

How silly it was. And how glad I am that I ignored it when it was tails. It was the first time I'd confronted myself, and made the decision to do this for my own self worth, and not simply for weight loss.

If anyone is reading this and in two minds about starting again, DO IT! It may be more difficult, but that makes the success even sweeter. Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker. :)
 
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I really needed to read this post! I'm a second time re-starter having not made it through a week before. This time already feels different because I'm already examining why I was so big and my attitude to food. I am only on day two but I am already loving having a break from food, time out to really reassess stuff!
 
How brilliantly put!

I haven't done CD before, but I did go from 14st 4lbs to 12st 12lbs on Atkins, and then when I stalled I switched to Lipotrim and got to 11st 5lbs. Like you, I ignored the reasons why I had got that big in the first place, and returned quite quickly to old eating habits. In a way I was lucky, because as I finished LT I took up dancing (quite intensively!) and then another couple of months later started a full time, very physical job and I think these things helped keep my weight in check, and I didn't go over 12 stone for nearly 18 months.

Then I had the contraceptive implant, with made me seriously pile it on - but 'only' back up to 14 stone. I say 'only', because I had handed in my notice at the physical job and started teacher training, but continued with my less-than-ideal eating habits, and before I knew it I was at my heaviest ever - 15st 1lb. I'd gone from 11st 5lbs in January 2008 to maintaining at 11st-something right the way through to March 2009, and then within 6 months was over 3 stone heavier!

I've been trying to lose weight on WW / calories counting since New Year and the lowest weight I got to was 14st 6lbs - and was back to 15-1 within a fortnight of seeing that on the scales. I decided enough was enough over Summer before starting my new job, and here I am 7 weeks and 32lbs later!

This time I have a plan for maintenance. I am switching to CD (from LT) at the end of this week and will mostly follow the steps to maintenance (but staying more low carb - very sadly, bread and pasta will simply have to not feature in my diet at all if I want to avoid being in this situation again!) and, like you, I have learned an awful lot about myself on the way. Just 8.5 weeks to go to Step 2!
 
This is good advice to anyone following any diet at all. Thank you for posting. I'm already researching good nutrition practices and healthy recipes, and really considering how I think about food and what I'm going to do when this comes to an end.
 
What a very honest and open thread and as a 'final' timer I agree totally. I want to finish this and not ever do it again, but most of all I want to be happy in myself! Thank you :) x
 
excellent post and so true. Ive started and restarted diets so any times and with each restart felt like a failure!! Started again 2 weeks ago and am doing great. This time im not getting obsessed with just getting to goal but im thinking in a totally different way, i think something has just clicked in my head!!
 
excellent post and so true. Ive started and restarted diets so any times and with each restart felt like a failure!! Started again 2 weeks ago and am doing great. This time im not getting obsessed with just getting to goal but im thinking in a totally different way, i think something has just clicked in my head!!

I feel the same - yes it would be nice to be a size 16/14 but that's not why I'm doing this, I'm doing it for quality of life and health... If as a side effect I get to wear a smaller size then that's brilliant but I can't let myself get obsessed with counting numbers - as long as the numbers are going DOWN :cool:
 
its really nice to see someone who has a positive look on coming back!
you are truely an inspiration to everyone on here not just the restarters!
 
Thanks...i really needed to read that, having a tough afternoon but you picked up my spirits again x Onwards to Day 3
 
Absolutely well said!!! thanks for posting, I did exactly the same first time round and although I maintained for 2 years and was very happy, I hadn't prepared myself for what to do when things went wrong in my life, you see, when Im depressed I eat, and funnily enough I was so happy those two years that food wasn't a priority until jan this year when things went wrong and I just found myself in the same place I was before... am back this time to train myself that food isn't going to solve my problems and putting and focusing my energy on finding solutions rather than what am going to eat next... I want that feeling I had before and am going to get it back and as you say, this is my final time too am never ever doing this again!!
 
Great post! I could have written it word for word......except my words would never have read as well as yours. Good luck to all of us on our FINAL weight-loss journey!

Lesley
 
Great post! Am a 2nd timer as well - did LL 2 years ago. Piled it all back on, didn't learn any lessons. But you're so right. This time round feels different, not least of all because I have a very big definite reason for doing it - but also because I know I can do it and I'll get to my goal.
Don't get me wrong it's a struggle, it's hard some days I want to grab all the food I can lay my hands on and lock myself in the loo, but it won't happen. I'm determined this time, and in a different place than before. Sx
 
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