Dont know what to do :(


Full Member
Im so sorry about your mum, but im sure your mum would want her grandkids to enjoy christmas, its still early, take time for yourself, put photos of your mum up by your tree & remember all the good times she gave you when you were small, your mum will allways be with you in your heart & memories xx


Loves smilies
S: 16st6lb C: 15st5lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.8 Loss: 1st1lb(6.52%)
Hi Hun,

So sorry to hear about your sad loss. It's never a good time when you lose someone close to you but I think it's particularly difficult at this time of year.

Unfortunately it is that time of year when everyone expects you to be all happy and jolly and you probably just want to curl up in a ball right now and stay there until it all goes away. However, you have young children whose priorities are somewhat different to your own and who need to be able to celebrate Christmas as normal and that's why they still want to put up the decorations etc.

I think chipbutty is right...your Mum would want her grandchildren to miss out on Christmas. It is very early days for you and things are still going to be very raw for a while but you do need to soldier on for your kids sake. Your time for grieving will come, more than likely after the funeral. Meanwhile allow the children their time over the holiday period. You may find they will take the edge off things by keeping you busy at least for a little while.

Again, condolences for you and your family.


Gold Member
So sorry for your loss :(

I would be inclined to agree with the others. Go through the motions for the kids sake - they need normality in order to come to terms with losing their grandma. Dont necessarily put off grieving, its not something you can control, but by concentrating on keeping things a bit sane for the kids it will give your mind something other than grieving to focus on and will help in the short term as you absorb the shock to be doing something.

You have to feel the way you do, so dont shut down altogether, allow yourself time to grieve from time to time, it all helps in the healing process. There is no timescale for grieving, but you WILL get through this, one day at a time.

Hugs xxx


Gold Member
S: 13st10lb C: 12st2.5lb G: 10st1lb BMI: 30.7 Loss: 1st7.5lb(11.2%)
Not sure if anything i say can help, so just wanted so say how sorry i am for your loss and sending you a hug.



Gold Member
S: 1st2.9lb C: 0st10.9lb G: 0st10.9lb BMI: 1.8 Loss: 0st6lb(35.5%)
I'm so sorry. My best mates Dad passed this week, its awful , then it seems far worse because of the time of year ,i hope you have people supporting you . I know it's hard,but for the children's sake,keeping normality and routine is really important. You don't want them to be left with feelings about this sad time that can be avoided. Let them put the tree up? I'm sure we are all here for you. Bless xx


Gold Member
S: 21st12.5lb C: 21st4lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 45.3 Loss: 0st8.5lb(2.77%)
I'm so sorry for your loss. Xxx

Children don't grieve in the same way adults do, and you may feel alone in your grief but they will be feeling it too. Perhaps explain to them that mummy is very upset and that sometimes you will be too sad to join on their games, but you do love them.

As for Christmas, why not try your best as a tribute to your mum? As someone said keep her in Christmas with her picture and keep talking about her.

I think it's the Jewish who sit Shiva? ( forgive me if thats wrong) The closest bereaved sits on a low stool and visitors come and talk about the person who has died, share memories and stories of them. It's very therapeutic and been proven to be a healthy way to grieve so talk about her often even if through tears and remember the good times xxxxxxx


Gold Member
S: 15st0lb C: 12st4.4lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 27.8 Loss: 2st9.6lb(17.9%)
So sorry to hear about your mum. I just wanted to come and give you a big hug :bighug:

Thinking of you and your family at this sad time xx


Gold Member
So sorry to hear about your sad loss.

This will be such a shock for you and it won't feel real.

My Mam died before Christmas 5 years ago and my grandchildren bought a special bauble for her.

Lots of hugs for you.

Irene xx


Full Member
S: 12st10lb C: 11st4.5lb BMI: 28.1 Loss: 1st5.5lb(10.96%)
So sorry to haer of your loss , it's difficult losing a loved one at any time but seems so much worse at Christmas. As hard as it's going to be, I really agree with the other posts - you need to try to celebrate Christmas as best you can, for the children's sake. Your mum wouldn't want you and your children to have a miserable Christmas. Be as strong as you can, do as much as you can for the children, and though there will be times that you need to take yourself away for a few minutes when it all gets a bit much, overall I'm sure you can make it a happy time for the kids.
Much love xxxx


Gold Member
S: 27st8.5lb C: 17st3lb G: 16st7.5lb BMI: 36.6 Loss: 10st5.5lb(37.65%)
My amazing mum passed away suddeny on Sunday and I feel so lost x everything just seems so hard x my kids are begging me to put up Christmas decorations but it feels so wrong x don't think there is any real point to it x just want my mum x

:bighug: there are no words, but my thought are with you :bighug:

My dad died 21st December when I was six years old and I cant imagine how it must have been for my mum. But you need to keep Christmas as normal as possible for the sake of your kids, otherwise Christmas will be something that haunts them, every year, not something festive at all but a bad memory. You know your mum wouldn't want this.

You havent lost everything because you've still got your beautiful little kids and they need you right now, just as you need them. Its hard, its unfair, but we've just got to make then very best we can out of it for the sake of the kids and what your mum would have wanted.

Take care xxxx :bighug:


Gold Member
S: 26st9.0lb C: 25st5.0lb G: 12st0.0lb Loss: 1st4lb(4.83%)
Big hug! Don't think I can add much more but wanted to say sorry for your loss.

I remeber when I was young my grandpa died around Christmas and the whole family went out for.Christmas dinner to a hotel so everyone could relax and not have to do the usual traditions at home, we did the same when Nan died. The next year was easier.

You mum and your family will be in my prayers x


So sorry for your loss.
I remember when my Granda passed away close to Christmas a few years ago. The whole family was so upset. We had Christmas as normal, but we had a small toast to him, and his seat at the head of the table was left empty for him.
My thoughts are with you and your family.


Silver Member
S: 14st3.5lb C: 14st3.5lb G: 12st0.0lb BMI: 36.5 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
I just wanted to say that although your pain is raw right now, it will ease and become easier to bear x


Loves Norman Reedus
S: 15st10lb C: 13st9.5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 30 Loss: 2st0.5lb(12.95%)
Hi just wanted to say that I am so so sorry for your loss. I agree that putting pictures up sounds like a good idea.
Remember how much you love your mum and Christmases with your mum, that's how your children feel about you.

Take care my thoughts are with you at this hard time.xx


Gold Member
S: 15st5lb C: 14st11lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.5 Loss: 0st8lb(3.72%)
hi hun i am very sorry for ur loss x have to agree with everyone else put the decorations up, put a special bauble on the tree for ur mum or even better get the kids to make one my dear mum died 2 years ago but it doe s get easier, thinking of you all xx :bighug:


Full Member
That's so sad. I don't feel I should give any advice as I haven't been in the same situation. It's still very raw and sudden for you but I'm sure you will do what you feel is right. Take care.


Full Member
S: 17st3lb C: 16st11lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 37.9 Loss: 0st6lb(2.49%)
I have put the tree up and have put a new angel on top and brought a baubles that you can put a picture in x I will have Christmas for the kids but don't feel right celebrating it myself x I think I am in shock still and am terrified about the funeral next week x